Tuesday was the release of the U.S. State Department’s 2007 “Trafficking in Persons Report” (PDF available through CNN). To state the obvious - it’s a report on “human trafficking,” which encompasses: commercial sex, involuntary servitude, forced labor, and debt bondage. Here’s the extensive list and global map of who sucks more (countries in blue are named as “special cases,” countries in grey are “too damn special to survey”).

Tier 1 (green) [full compliance with Trafficking Victims Protection Acts] - Australia • Austria • Belgium • Canada • Colombia • Czech Republic • Denmark • Finland • France • Georgia • Germany • Hong Kong • Hungary • Italy • Republic of Korea • Lithuania • Luxembourg • Malawi • Morocco • The Netherlands • New Zealand

Tier 2 (yellow) [do not comply with TVPA, but are trying] - Afganistan • Albania • Angola • Azerbaijan • Bangladesh • Belize • Benin • Bolivia • Boznia-Herz. • Brazil • Bulgaria • Burkina Faso • Cameroon • Chile • Congo (DRC) • Costa Rica • Cote D’Ivoire • Croatia • East Timor • Ecuador • El Salvador • Estonia • Ethiopia • Gabon • Ghana • Greece • Guinea • Guinea-Bissau • Indonesia • Isreal • Jamaica • Japan • Jordan • Kyrgyz Repl. • Laos • Latvia • Lebanon • Liberia • Macedonia • Madagascar • Mali • Malta • Mauritius • Mongolia • Montenegro • Nepal • Nicaragua • Niger • Pakistan • Panama • Paraguay • Peru • Philippines • Portugal • Romania • Rwanda • Senegal • Serbia • Sierra Leone • Singapore • Slovak Republ. • Suriname • Taiwan • Tajikistan • Tanzania • Thailand (really?!) • Togo • Turkey • Uganda • Uruguay • Vietnam • Yemen • Zambia • Zimbabwe

Tier 2 ‘Watch List’ (orange) [do not comply with TVPA, but are trying and have serious problems] - Argentina • Armenia • Belarus • Burundi • Cambodia • Central African Rep. • Chad • China • Cyprus • Djibouti • Dominican Rep. • Egypt • Fiji • Gambia • Guatemala • Guyana • Honduras • India • Kazakhstan • Kenya • Libya • Macau • Mauritania • Mexico • Moldova • Mozambique • Papua New Guinea • Russia • South Africa • Sri Lanka • Ukraine • United Arab Emirates

Tier 3 (red) [countries that could give a flying f**k about TVPA and aren't trying] - Algeria • Bahrain • Burma • Cuba • Equatorial Guinea • Iran • Kuwait • Malaysia • North Korea • Oman • Qatar • Saudi Arabia • Sudan • Syria • Uzbekistan • Venezuela

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There is a secret TV channel that only rich people can get.

Here is the reality: No, it is not a secret. Yes, it is a little creepy.

It is called “Plum TV” (the name alone is the flavor of lame that rich people flock to). On their website, Plum TV states:

“Plum is dedicated to producing the most informative and entertaining programming that celebrates life in our vibrant communities.”

The vibrant communities that Plum TV celebrates happen to be:

•Aspen
•The Hamptons
•Martha’s Vinyard
•Nantucket
•Telluride
•Vail

Regarding their use of the word “our” - one could surmise that it refers to those who own the costly properties in these celebrated (and gated) communities. The wealthy don’t celebrate their lives enough these days - it’s good to know there’s a whole channel dedicated to doing so.

(via Planet Timbotron, via Susan)

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So ok it is on another blog, but this post almost made wish I had Depends on. The Captain Avenger post is classic. Might want to grab a towel for clean up if you laugh or pee yourself silly.

(via The Sneeze)

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Dynamism has been sneaking in the latest and greatest stuff from Japan long before it is generally available state side.
Want similar touch screen functionality that the iPhone has, but want it now? No problem - enter HTC Touch!

They have more silly USB products than you can shake a chopstick at.

Want a wood USB memory stick, no problem! MP4 watch - sure thing, MP3 watch - of course.

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Aside from auctions for things like “Some Lint I Found in My Belly Button” and “I’ll Be Your Online Girlfriend” (there’s a LOT of that), here are a few gems I came across while looking for um, well, some stuff.

INSANE HORNETS NEST WITH MASSIVE KILLER YELLOWJACKET!

(featuring free shipping, lots of exclamation points and ALL CAPS!!!!!)

POTATO BUTT COME LOOK, WOULDNT YOU LIKE A BUTT LIKE THIS

(a whopping 10% of the final sale will support the NAAF Foundation, the National Alopecia Areta Foundation)

BECOME INVISIBLE & walk unseen among people or CROWDS

(I thought this might just be a copy of Ralph Ellison’s “Invisible Man” and some black face paint, but apparently it involves making Susanna Hoff eyes)

=)

(It’s a f’ing emoticon drawn on a piece of paper, currently going for $20.50)

Real Roasted Heart Shaped Peanut - love wife gift shell

(I don’t know what “love wife gift shell” means but I don’t think that peanut is sanitary)

Abraham Lincoln’s Image on French Toast

(I would love to pour some Aunt Jemima’s all over that b%$#@)

Help me Bring Back * ICE ICE BABY * Rob Winkle, This Is The Hottist Song Ever - Help Me Cool It Down

(This one is my favorite, read this excerpt)

“That is the song that is blarring on my truck stereo if I am at a red light ( well my friend Selena says it’s not blarring cause I am stuck in the 80’s and I have it on tape) So the bass is not all that great. But people get the point when they are sitting next to me at the light. All money will go twords new speakers for my truck & I am going to burn the song on CD. Once this auction is over & my system is kicking I really feel bad for those people who live in Maryland near me. I will ride around all night long (with Selena of course ) Blarring ( yes I can say blarring now)”

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Inspired by the film Calendar Girls.

Now, before you click over to read the article… did I just catch you wondering if there are pictures you can ogle?

No one’s judging you. It’s a natural reaction. Like staring at car wrecks.

You sicko.

Great White Snark

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Frank Caliendo of MadTV on David Letterman (12/18/06)

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Who would have thought that vending machines were so hackable?

The “Menu Hack”:

4-2-3-1 = Access
1 = Return to Last Menu
2 = Up
3 = Down
4 = Enter/Select
Another “Menu Hack” Video.

The “Jackpot Hack” (a.k.a. - “How to Go to Jail for Quarters”):

432112311″change” = Change Dump

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A cool video of Bob Bryanton’s clear and simple description of dimensions one through ten. It made my brain hurt and I think blood is trickling from my ears.

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Keep your eyes on the kid in the back…hilarious!

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“I used to act dumb. That act is no longer cute.”

- Paris Hilton in a phone call to Barbara Walters, later broadcast on ABC News’ Web site

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Real life or The Onion?

Real! As reported by CBS 5: “…a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting….documents show the Air Force lab asked for $7.5 million to develop such a chemical weapon.” There’s so much wrong with this I don’t even know where to start. Read the full story or watch the news cast here on CBS 5.

I wonder if this idea came about before or after 300?

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“Imagine taking an avatar and walking around a house, painting the walls dynamically and furnishing it with products from Pottery Barn or Ikea. There’ll be a point when a 3-D Internet solves problems in your real world.”

- Christopher Mahoney of Linden Lab on how virtual world Second Life will help you codify your lack of style.*

Gosh. If the 3-D Internet was going to solve my problems in the real world, couldn’t it do something other than help me buy futons? How about helping out with my credit card debt, or my cellulite? I’m just saying.

* Folks, I’m mocking myself here. Half my furniture is from Pottery Barn.

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Very zen animations of air traffic over the United States (based on FAA data), by Aaron Koblin.

(pimped by [adult swim])

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It’s a little like rugby. But with hundreds of Russians, armed with sticks and road flares, no referee, and no ball. And less bloody.

The Red gang thinks Gap Khakis are “crazy,” while the Blue gang insists they’re “cool.”

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Earlier this year, scientists made several great leaps closer to a scientific understanding of “ball lightning” and how it is naturally generated - following the hypothesis that ball lightning could be generated by lightning striking soil and a “ball” of vaporized silicon (from the soil) would breifly maintain an electrical charge. Laboratory tests using electrically superheated silicon produced “ball lightning” that persisted for several seconds, moved and changed direction, briefly maintained a “ball” shape, and briefly maintained high temperatures - all typical characteristics reported in natural ball lightning sightings.

Here’s a video of a laboratory recreation of “ball lightning”:

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What do you get when you cross The Eagles with Eamon with Linkin Park? Click below to find out.

California In Stereo - Mashup by Johnny Haze, 2007

(Right-click the link to save the mp3.)

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Last night was a great time as I took part in my second Midnight Mystery Ride, which also happened to be a part of this year’s Pedalpalooza.

The premise of a Midnight Mystery Ride, if you’re unfamiliar, is this:

“We meet, greet, gather and drink. At midnight, we ride to a mystery location. Not for the faint at heart.”

Every second Friday of the month, bicycle-riding freaks and geeks meet at a pre-determined location. Although this location usually ends up being a local brew-pub, its whereabouts are only posted on the website the day prior to the event. Around 10pm (ish), crowds of people on bikes of all types begin to gather at the chosen spot to load up on as much barley-pop as possible before midnight. At that time the mystery ride of roughly 150–200 people begins, which is led by one person who is the only individual that knows where we are riding to. Upon arriving at the mystery destination, which is within approximately five miles of the original meeting location, the partying commences. The crowd is comprised of everything from hipsters riding fixes to nude double-decker bike riding weirdos—My kind of peeps!

Below are a few photos and videos of last night’s ride. Unfortunately, my memory card was full, so I was only able to capture as much as I could erase. I was, however, able to get a poorly-lit snippet of a by-passer in an SUV acting-a-fool because he thought someone touched his precious vehicle. Way to uphold the stereotype, f*cktard! Not to mention he was slightly out numbered by 200 people on bicycles. Although, he did have a sweet east coast wise-guy accent.

Anyhow, enjoy my lousy, poorly-lit photos and videos as much as you can. It was pitch-black once we got there and I was pretty f*cked up, mind you. Better photos and videos next month, I promise.

WERD!

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I never thought I’d want to order something that’s essentially flavored sugar but these Shag “Cocktail Candies” look damn good. Now I can make a “chocolate choo-choo“.

And, Shag has a show at the Shooting Gallery in S.F. that looks fun called “The Merchant of Menace“. It started today June 9th and runs through July 7th.

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God help us. A recent shopping expedition with a friend for wedding attire made me want to punch a baby. Now, my friend works out 4-5 times a week, has an amazing shape, and knows what silhouettes flatter her best (in other words; a slinky, bias cut, bombshell dress). We looked everywhere (East Bay, SF, online…). Nothing. The only look available is empire waist dresses, empire waist everything.

Do you know this look?! If you’ve ever been in a maternity store you do. I guess by putting a seam under your boobs it’s supposed to make them look bigger and create some sort optical illusion to hide everything else. But really, there’s no better way to look pregnant. Why wasn’t this f’ing look in style when I was pregnant?! You could be beautiful Jessica Alba, size 1, and still look dumpy in this hideous concoction. And when coupled with those hideous gigantic graphic prints of the seventies, and some ballet flats, WOW, you can really look retarded. Haven’t you always wanted to look like a pregnant ballerina?

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