This is why you should never try to smash a can of WD-40. Then again, survival of the fittest, right?

(via Gizmodo; via Spluch)

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“You’re assuming I won’t shoot your sorry ass. And everyone knows when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of U and umption.”

- Mitch Henessey (Samuel L. Jackson) in “The Long Kiss Goodnight“

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The website for the upcoming Simpsons Movie is pretty damn stellar. If you haven’t done it already, make your own Simpsons avatar: a Simpsonified version of yourself. Here’s the Blogadilla crew.

Would you believe that we pretty-much look like this? Except Chris is much much shorter, Cindi’s hair is much larger, Heywood is actually blind, and AMP looks even more like the lovechild of Lisa Loeb and Tina Fey.

Thanks Team Blogadilla for submitting your images.

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Just over a year ago, Time Magazine profiled a brother/sister juggling team, Olga and Vova Galchenko, the so called “Juggling Geniuses.” Time compiled 10 of their videos, which go as far back as 1997, when the brother-sister pair was only 10 and 7, respectively.

Their skill is impressive, as is the fact that they’ve journeyed from a tiny home in Penza, Russia, all the way to Hollywood– check out Vova below as a young boy, and later in a Fatboy Slim video with some amazing shots:

(via Time.com)

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Last year a friend of mine went to jail for 3 weeks (though he forgot about a traffic ticket, the County of San Mateo did not). What do you give someone who is going to jail? Hallmark doesn’t make cards for this sort of thing.

I baked him a cake with a hacksaw in it (baking a cake like this isn’t girly - it’s manly because you’re baking with tools).

You will need:
•Cheap cakemix (preferably one that doesn’t require a lot of ingredients)
•A hacksaw (any cake-sized kind will do)
•Frosting (pre-made canned ones are easiest)
•An oven
•A deep (non-stick) baking pan
•A friend going to jail
•A pathetic amount of free time on your hands

How to do it:
1 - Mix-up the cake mix, pour it into 1 or 2 deep baking pans (you want to make 2 rectangular cakes approx 2-3″ thick and big enough to cover-up a hacksaw), bake the cakes according to instructions.
2 - Drink a beer. Eat leftover cakebatter while the cake is baking.
3 - When the sheets of cake are cool, remove from pans, place one of the cake slabs on a platter or piece of cardboard (this one will be the bottom layer).
4 - Place hacksaw on top of the cake slab (the one on the platter), frost the top of this cake slab (frost with the hacksaw on it).
5 - Place the other “top” cake slab on top of the frosted hacksaw-cake mess, the frosting on the bottom cake slab will make the two slabs stick together with the hacksaw in the middle.
6 - Frost the outside of the cake-hacksaw-cake sandwich. Decorate as you see fit. Menthol cigarettes or sharpened toothbrushes are a nice touch.

Hacksaw cake detail.

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If you liked Mr. Potato Head as a child (or perhaps you still enjoy him?), then check out Monoface.

With a few simple clicks of the mouse, you can play ‘Mr. Potatohead’ with photos of real people. Just select a head, eyes, nose, and mouth from one of 15 individuals. If my math is correct, there are over 750,000 possible face combinations from which you can choose.

Here are some I made:

(via Neatorama)

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A friend of mine is a curator at the Computer History Museum in Mountain View, CA; yesterday I got a cool private tour. Here are some of the highlights (click on photo to enlarge):

A - The IBM “Deep Blue” supercomputer; defeated chess champion Garry Kasparov in 1997.

B - The Apple 1 personal computer (the first Apple product), for sale in 1976 for the price of $666.66.

C - Douglas Engelbart’s 1967 mouse prototype (no joke, it’s made of wood).

D - Herman Hollerith’s 1889 tabulation/census machine; it electronically “read” punch-cards; in 1911 he sold the patent to a small company known as the International Business Machines corporation (IBM).

E - Data cards from J. M. Jacquard’s 1804 programmable textile loom.

F - An example of the detailed “printing” of Jacquard’s loom (you’re looking at a woven image).

G - A WWII Enigma code machine.

H - The 1949 IBM 604 Calculator; IBM’s first mass-produced computer.

I - The Rand JOHNNIAC computer, used for scientific computing in 1954.

J - Detail of the stylish 50’s JOHNNIAC nameplate (looks like a car or a fridge).

K - IBM core memory for the 1954 SAGE air defense system computer used by NORAD.

L - The first Google Production Server, 1999.

M - The 1954 SAGE air defense system computer used by NORAD.

N - Detail of SAGE’s built-in cigarette lighter and ashtray (you gotta love the 50’s).

O - The guidance computer for a 1962 Minuteman I intercontinental ballistic (nuclear) missile.

P - The MIT 1965 Apollo spacecraft guidance computer.

Q - University of Tokyo’s Biper-4 bipedal robotic legs, 1983.

R - The 1976 Cray-1 supercomputer.

S - The 1985 Cray-2 supercomputer, with stylish fluid cooling tower.

T - The 1971 Computer Space arcade game; the first commercially available video game.

U - The Apple 1 personal computer, autographed by Steve Wozniak.

V - Detail of “Woz” autograph.

W - A pre-1956 RAMAC prototype; the world’s first disc-drive.

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[For those of you who are not knee-deep in geekery]: Cthulhu (usually pronounced KThoo-Loo) is a sinister ancient deity from the works of early 20th century science fiction writer H.P. Lovecraft. Cthulhu is described as being gigantic and green, with rubbery skin, having an ‘octopus head’, a large belly, claws on its hands and feet, and thin wings emerging from its back. In Lovecraft’s universe, Cthulhu came to Earth (from somewhere in the distant cosmos) hundreds of millions of years ago and currently rests undead and “dreaming” among the remains of the buried alien city of R’lyeh, which lies beneath the most desolate area of the South Pacific (47° 9′ S, 126° 43′ W). In Lovecraft’s story “The Call of Cthulhu,” Cthulhu is described as contacting people in their dreams (usually in mid-March), and by these means Cthulhu generates cults of human worshippers around the world who await his eventual awakening; according to Lovecraft, the powerful leaders of the Cthulhu cult live “in the mountains of China.”

Needless to say, Cthulhu has serious geek appeal. There are Cthulhu role-playing games, Cthulhu is a figure in the Dungeons & Dragons universe, there are numerous Campus Crusade for Cthulhu movements, and the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society has created an awesome 1920’s black-and-white ’silent movie’ of “The Call of Cthulhu.” They do a good job of following the original story and their visuals and musical score are stellar (watch the trailer). The H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society also offers a number of cool Cthulhu downloads, including the kick-ass cellphone wallpaper above.

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Location:
Kepler’s Books in Menlo Park, CA. In a sea of thousands awaiting the new Harry Potter book.

Local Time and Date:
11:30PM, July 20th, 2007. 30 minutes until we find out what happens to Harry! OhMyGod!

Local Mood:
Compared to the premier of the iPhone, there are actually less people dressed like Harry Potter. And more Yodas. I can understand the 2,000+ costumed kids at this literacy cluster-f***, but the hundreds of dressed up 20- and 30-year-olds reek of a Dungeons & Dragons convention.

My Mood:
Do I personally care? No. Haven’t even seen all the movies. No robots or nudity. Don’t get me wrong - any author who can get millions of children excited to read while simultaneously pissing-off the religious right is a national hero. But when there is a 45 year old man running around in a cape pushing his way to the front of the line to buy a book, we’ve moved beyond literature - J. K. Rowling has invented crack for geeks (or the antidote for sexiness).

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Having just posted a mashup I made of a songs by Moby and Timbaland, I have been looking around the Internet for material on both artists. This issue surfaced back in January of this year, but I just became aware of it and had to post about it because I’m just blown away.

Apparently in the song “Do It” by Nelly Furtado (which Timbaland “wrote” and produced), Tim lifted a significant portion of a “Acidjazzed Evening,” written and produced in 2000 by a little-known Finnish musician named Janne Suni AKA “Tempest.” Timbaland didn’t ask Suni for permission, nor did he clear the sample prior to making this song. Sure, sampling happens all the time, but it is legitimate and this simply is not.  What Timbaland has done is blatantly plagiarize, taking credit for creating something that someone else created.

I’ll be fair: “Do It” is a hot track in its own right, but Timbaland’s theft is so blatant, it’s amazing. Check out a YouTube video comparing the songs, as well as a ringtone that Timbaland “wrote” in 2005, also ripping off “Acidjazzed Evening”:

Apparently both sides have lawyers and are talking, so perhaps a settlement is in the works.  Timbaland, however, has publicly scoffed at this issue, saying that this happens all the time and isn’t something anyone should be worrying about.  Still, though, the music sounds identical.

For more specific, continuously updated information, check out the wikipedia page on this controversy.

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I’m not sure why whoever made this video compilation was so obsessed with people getting hit in the face, but a lot of these slow-mo clips are quite cool.

It may be obvious to some, but the explanation as to how people can get such good shots is that the cameras used record these videos capture many more frames per second than ‘normal’ video cameras, and thus can be slowed down tremendously.

Czech it out:

(The water balloon video I initially posted is included in this compilation, but it’s cool enough that it can be seen twice)

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That’s right folks, it’s time for another Monthly Mashup. This time, I took Timbaland’s “The Way I Are” and crossed it with Moby’s “Hymn. ” Enjoy!

The Hymn I Are - Mashup by Johnny Haze, 2007

(Right-click the link to save the mp3.)

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[words collected by Timbotron and AMP]:
Tennis Mom • Multislacking • Vibrazor • Bluetool • Starbucks Socialist • Blogorrhea • LQTM • Hiltonfreude • Tentacleware • Nontourage • Googlewhacking • Less Cowbell • Internuts • Post-Death Syndrome • Hasselhoffing • Wii Elbow • Email Bankruptcy • Panty Crickets • Uncle Google • Olsening • ElOhEl!1! • Starbuccaneer • Draganized • Oprahculture • Thousandaire • Thirtynothing • Blogvenge • Ruburbs • Continuous Partial Attention • ETN • Nintendonitis

[If you know of any good terms, please give us the word(s) and a link in the comments section below; nothing too raunchy, please.]

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This is awesome. Next time you think your house is messy, just look at this slideshow.

(via Susan)

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“Hair is the first thing. And teeth the second. Hair and teeth. A man got those two things - he’s got it all.”

- James Brown

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Blood Puddle Pillows from Keetra Dean Dixon (xoXOxo).

(via Who Killed Bambi?)

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Available at Kid Robot.

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It’s no doubt that Web 2.0 can often be categorized by sites with pastel colors and rounded edges, but there’s a ton of cool technology that has developed amongst all the pretty designs. Some of the coolest new stuff profiles you as a user and compares it to all sorts of data (including your friends and random strangers) to come up with a breakdown of stuff you know you like, as well as stuff you didn’t know you’d like (or at least, that’s the point). Here’s a few of my favorite music-oriented sites I’ve discovered:

- This site used to be known as “AudioScrobbler”, but changed it’s name and then was sold to CBS. You run a small program (for all OS’s) on your computer, and it watches the music you listen to. It compares your music listening habits to those of all the other users on the site, then provides internet radio (free!) of not only your music, but other artists that you’ll probably like. Here’s my profile (for a sample of what it looks like).

- This site pools together all the mp3’s posted on various music blogs across the web. Do a search for one of your favorite artists and you’re bound to find some new tracks - covers and live versions in particular. You can also snag the RSS feed for an artist, import it into iTunes, and voila - instant free downloads of those tracks.

LivePlasma - Utilizes the Amazon database of “User’s who bought this, also bought…” to give you a map of artists related to your entered artist. This one works for movies as well - be warned that it’s not very forgiving of misspellings, and a lot of the more obscure artists don’t show up at all. Definitely fun to play with, though.

- This is for the lucky iPhone owners out there, although it works on a normal browser as well. Similar to HypeMachine, this pools together all the mp3’s it can find on the web and offers full listens through the interface. The iPhone version looks amazing on the phones with an interface emulating the iPhone iTunes almost exactly.

Please feel free to share your favorite Web 2.0 music sites in the comments section!

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Is that a light sabre in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

link

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My wife just got this awesome sticker for her car.
Fair retribution for the thousands of naked lady mudflaps driving across the continent. From Bubba Loves It.

They also sell a kick-ass “JOHN DEERE” t-shirt.

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