Archive for December, 2007

Bacon Product of the Week: Kevin Bacon T-Shirt

Saturday, December 29th, 2007

Be separated from Kevin Bacon by only one degree with this nifty t-shirt from NoStar Clothing:

Kevin Bacon T-Shirt

$24 is kind of pricey though. Alternative solution: Buy bacon, fry bacon, tape bacon to grey t-shirt. Remember to eat bacon before washing.

Walking with Dinosaurs

Friday, December 28th, 2007

Last night, I saw “Walking with Dinosaurs: The Live Experience.”
Life-sized free-moving animatronic dinosaurs.
Oh man . . . it kicked ten flavors of Jurassic robot as$!!
Here’s the video I made:

Fall on Your Knees . . .

Tuesday, December 25th, 2007

Two years ago, The Sneeze posted what may be the worst rendition of “O Holy Night” ever. In fact, this may be the the worst rendition of anything, ever. This song makes Baby Jesus cry.

Follow these directions:
•Turn the volume up as loud as it will go.
•Play this song.
•Halfway through the song, be prepared to pee a little bit; expect minor bleeding from the eardrums.

On an ascending scale of painful noises:
1 – car alarm
2 – mating humpback whales
3 – Minnie Riperton’s “Lovin’ You”
4 – German Shepherd kicked in the crotch
5 – crying sick infant
6 – cat in heat
7 – Vietnamese pop music
8 – crying sick infant being beaten with a cat in heat
9 – Chinese opera
10 – this song

(via The Sneeze. God bless you, Steve)

Happy Holidays

Tuesday, December 25th, 2007

I made a gingerbread house today – “War of the Worlds” was the theme.

Happy Holidays!

The Martian War Machine:
•A Moon Pie
•Black licorice
•Coat hanger wire
•Black Ju-Ju Bees
•Purple frosting
•Death Ray – Photoshop

OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod

Monday, December 24th, 2007

This movie poster appeared in a local theater yesterday.
IT’S COMING!! OhMyGod OhMyGod OhMyGod!!!

Only 149 days left until the 4th Indiana Jones movie (May 22nd):

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”

I’m getting such a geek chub-on about this: I’m getting the t-shirt and wearing it every day until it rots off my body and I’m wallpapering my home with the movie poster and I’m going to dress up as a Star Wars character (probably Yoda) and wait in line for 3 days for the first showing.

Christmas Gifts: What I Really Want

Friday, December 21st, 2007

It’s that time of year when magazines and TV shows offer their lists of “What to get that man in your life (age 20-40).” Most of these lists aren’t made by men age 20-40 (who started the stupid rumor that we would ever want silky boxer shorts?). On behalf of men age 20-40, here is a fail-safe list of what to get that man in your life:


Military Grade Duct Tape – Duct tape is the ultimate fix-all – required in space missions. The only thing cooler than duct tape is military grade duct tape (bonus points if you can get it in olive drab).



Big Lebowski T-Shirts – There are countless to chose from, but here are a few of my favored picks:
•The stylish ‘This Aggression Will Not Stand’ shirt.
•The ‘El Duderino’ shirt.
•And for the real hardcore, the ‘Karu Betto’ baseball shirt (it’s Jeff Bridge’s actual shirt, which he wore in “The Big Lebowski,” “The Fisher King,” and “Tron”).



The Fisher ‘Space Pen’ – The Fisher Space Pen writes underwater and writes upside-down. How could you not want this?



The Victorinox Swiss Army Money ClipIt’s a moneyclip and a knife!. Overstock.com has a cool deal: a Space Pen and a Swiss Army Money Clip.



Kung-Fu Books – Because secretly every guy wants to learn Kung-Fu:
‘Kung Fu: History, Philosophy, and Technique’
‘The Art of Shaolin Kung-Fu’
‘Kung Fu Elements’

Pull-Tab Necklace

Friday, December 21st, 2007

Spring Design’s ‘F**K Tab Necklace’.
Gold.
$250.