‘How to Good-Bye Depression If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? of Effective Way?’

Hiroyuki Nishigaki has once again surpassed rational thought and cut straight to the point: clenching your anus 100 times a day is both an obvious and malarkey-free cure for depression. And Nishigaki’s rectal breakthroughs can’t be compromised by such petty things as coherent English or scientific evidence:

“In addition your sex energy will begin to become strong again by constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times everyday following the life style of long lived British. But, you had better reduce the frequency of ** and of ## to less then half If possible. If you are less than 40 or 50 years old, you may become impatient and want to rape secretively. You will not be able to sleep thirsting for a young beautiful woman or man almost all night at the beginning.“

[But most of the long lived British I've met ** and ## like five times a day and still want to rape secretively.]

“When I meet the men or women who have bad complexion, have acrid, dreary or self-pity eyes, look older or take many liberties, I am apt to imagine that they have much old black solid excrement. Old black excrement is as solid as plastic.“
[I'm apt to imagine that about everyone. Every teacher I had in junior high: old black excrement. Every one of my neighbors: old black excrement.]

“If you have strengthen your liver, you can enjoy the same good feeling as that of light spring breeze, of a tree’s sprout or of an innocent adolescent.”
[At least one of these three is illegal.]

“Your gunshot of ** will become longer than that of your high school for 2 weeks after finishing 3 week fasting.“
[Longer than all of my highschool put-together? Couldn't this hurt someone and wouldn't it be more like a 'Bellagio Fountain Show' rather than a 'Gunshot' ?]

“You can understand that self-pity will happen to you when red energy of your heart can not do so because your heart is beaten by the stickiness of your dirty energy, of other dirty energy, of devils, of your complaints (about health, opposite sex, son or daughter, parents, money, work, or post), can’t you?“
[If one term could sum-up my life, it would be "dirty energy."]

And in Nishigaki’s own words, we have some good things to look forward to:

“Furthermore, Some people and I will found a club such as Anus 100 Club if possible.”
[Anus 100 Club, I am so there]

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