An unbelievable display; this guy beats Super Mario Brothers 3 in 11 minutes, getting more than the maximum number of 1ups possible. All I can say is Diz-namn!
(If you’re not instantly impressed, skip ahead to the 2:09 mark.)
I have no idea what “Dong Dong Mao” means, but you know it’s going to be good when the description says:
“桃花朵朵开 peach blossom one after another.”
My personal hypothesis: this is a Chinese boy-band audition tape.
(via Susan)
“Rock, Paper, Scissors” (also called “Ro-Sham-Bo”) gets interesting when you add a few more variables:
Rock beats Scissors
Scissors cuts-up Sponge
Sponge soaks Dynamite
Dynamite explodes Monkey
Monkey flings poop at Man
Man disproves Alien
Alien vaporizes Rock
(see other artworks by David C. Lovelace)
The moment you realize that Garfield isn’t real is the moment you know that (his owner) John is psychotic and bipolar .
Garfield Minus Garfield - The real John.
(via Susan, via Defamer)
Of the weddings I’ve attended, the theme was always “Wedding.”
But more and more, weddings are having themes. All too much like children’s birthday parties. The idea of a “Star Wars” wedding is nothing new, though it’s astounding to realize the sheer number of “Star Wars” weddings out there. I hope George Lucas feels like a dick about this.
Apparently, the bride and groom make movie props and costumes (so no Star-Warsy detail was left untouched): photo gallery and slideshow.
The bride and groom were married by Darth Vader, the groomsmen were Stormtroopers: video
The bride dressed as a bride, the groom came as Boba Fett: video
The groom came as Darth Vader, the bride came as Natalie Portman: video
Bonus Humiliation Round: The bride has a Hello Kitty shaped box on her nightstand. In it are her husband’s testicles. Life is hard enough when your English name is “Horlick”: video
It goes without saying that there are certain things that white people love (usually because no one else wants to go near these things for good reason). Stuff White People Like is dedicated to chronicling the things that affluent white people go berzerk about:
• #74 - Oscar Parties
• #67 - Standing Still at Concerts
• #64 - Recycling
• #63 - Expensive Sandwiches
• #62 - Knowing What’s Best for Poor People
• #60 - The Toyota Prius
• #57 - “Juno”
• #49 - Vintage Clothing
• #47 - Arts Degrees
• #45 - Asian Fusion Food
• #44 - Public Radio
• #36 - Breakfast Places
• #28 - Not Having a TV
• #25 - David Sedaris
• #21 - Writer’s Workshops
• #17 - Hating Their Parents
• #16 - “Gifted” Children
• #11 - Asian Girls
• #10 - Wes Anderson Movies
• #5 - Farmers Markets
• #1 - Coffee
(via Susan)
Last week, Blogadilla co-author Allison and I did our share of bitching about the lack of an ending to the Coen Brothers’ hit movie “No Country for Old Men”.
To clarify: It is possible to have an ending without having “follow-through.” And this lack of “follow-through” is cinematic coitus interruptus. It is cruel and lame.
To illustrate our point: Here is a knock-knock joke I hope to someday tell writers/directors Joel and Ethan Coen:
Me: “Knock-knock!”
Joel and Ethan Coen: “Who’s there?”
Me: “Orange.”
Joel and Ethan Coen: “Orange who?”
Me: “. . .”
Joel and Ethan Coen: “Orange who!?!”
Me: “. . .”
Joel and Ethan Coen: “ORANGE WHO!?!”
Me: “Tommy Lee Jones had a dream about his dad. F#ck you!”
As the author says, “Not sure who designed this, but I’m pretty confident they didn’t mean to make it look as if Jesus was showing his manhood to two children!”
I just made this video today. What happens to 32 “Marshmallow Peeps” in a microwave oven, what happens to an Easter egg in a microwave oven:
Original plot:
Developers are trying
to take our building.
The best parts of the
movie can be found on their
site: “Sweded movies.”
Melonie Diaz,
hottest lips in Hollywood.
I want to “Swede” her.
Save your $10.
Coming to a plane flight near
you: “Be Kind Rewind.”
Another perspective on life: “Thank God our perception of real life is distorted…No one wants to look at ugly people.”
[update from Heywood]:
In addition to the “Slob Evolution” parody, a slew other Dove Evolution parodies exist on Youtube:
…and more.
What does this image represent? Here are some possible answers:
Believe it or not, this is an actual graphic from a real website demonstrating the proper technique for drawing blood from a cow. (You take blood from a vein on the underside of the tail - who knew?!) Here is a photo demonstrating the technique in action:
The website is from a company, BioTracking, that provides pregnancy tests for cows and other ruminants. If livestock reproduction technology makes you giggle like a schoolgirl then check out this link for a ram ejaculator. Seems to me that sheep farmers could save a lot of money by just going by Good Vibrations instead.
98% of the world’s population has turned into superheroes (or supervillains).
And Stan isn’t one of them.
To make matters worse, his older brother is the illustrious Captain Ultra.
POW!: ‘The Defenders of Stan.’
SPLARF!!: 13 current episodes on their website.
ROMNEY!!: 13 current episodes on YouTube.
Give it 2 minutes, you will be pooping yourself laughing. This is truly brilliant comedy writing:
Perhaps a few steps up from the level of RottenNeighbor.com, CrimeReports.com combines Google Maps with local law enforcement reports (still not available in some areas).
[Update from Heywood]:
If you, like me, tried this out and it isn’t yet available for your neighborhood, invite your police chief. Just a few clicks.
Once again, Google Maps is being put to good use.
RottenNeighbor.com - A venue to warn the universe about your as$hole neighbor who lets their dog crap on your front yard, or that creepy house down the block that might have a meth lab in the basement.
Though it will most likely be employed in anonymous abuse . . .
Por ejemplo:
To you jerks with the wind chimes! -
“Hey, do you people think that it was a coincidence that the wind chimes that hung off of your deck magically had a rubber band wrapped around them recently!? Maybe. Well, I was sure to put another one around it over the weekend. Hopefully, you will get the hint. Next time it keeps me awake or wakes me up I am going to take it to work and get it welded together. Thanks”
noisey sex -
“apt 28 has loud annoying sex till the wee hours of the morning”
(via Susan, via John, via BoingBoing)
This innovative and award winning Dove commercial is really well done and hits the nail squarely on the head:
