No Country for Good Endings
February 19th, 2008 by timbotron[co-authored by Timbotron and Allison]
Last weekend, Blogadilla co-author Allison and I went to see the Coen Brothers’ film “No Country for Old Men”.
There are two major points we’d like to express:
1). Good movie.
2). The ending was the biggest load of sh!t ever!!!
We don’t want to give away the ending but . . .
THERE WAS NO F&#ING ENDING!!.
[Allison]:
“Can’t stop what’s comin.”
THEN LET IT COME ALREADY, B!TCH.
I PAID $10.50 TO SEE THIS MOVIE AND I WANT AN ENDING!
Don’t get me wrong, I loved it. Up until the end.
Here are our proposals for an ending for “No Country for Old Men”:
•The “Wonka” ending: Sherriff Bell hunts down Chigurh and tells him that he’s retiring and wants to give Chigurh the entire Chocolate Factory.
•Coen Bros. meets Tarantino ending: Chigurh limps away after the car crash and mistakenly walks into Zed’s pawn shop where Zed calls Tommy Lee Jones and says “looks like the spider caught a fly…”
•The Sarah Connor ending: In the final battle, Sherriff Bell discovers that Chigurh is a robot from the future sent to the past to stop the ending of the movie from ever really happening.
•The Skywalker ending: Sherriff Bell corners Chigurh and tells him the truth, “I don’t want to kill you. I just wanted to meet you . . . Son.” And a sobbing Chigurh and Bell embrace one another . . .
•The Tyler Durden: Sheriff Bell pursues Chigurh but can’t seem to find him, and over the phone Bell’s girlfriend Marla calls him “Chigurh,” and that’s when he realizes that he is . . .
Pet hypotheses for why the ending sucked:
•Ran out of film (Ethan Coen squandered a whole roll on interesting looking clouds).
•Soon after conjoined twins Joel and Ethan Coen were surgically separated (near the end of the filming of this movie), they decided that they couldn’t work together anymore.
•Cameraman died.
•The editor accidentally lost the last 10 minutes during a Robitussin binge.
February 19th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
I don’t want to be this guy, but if you thought that wasn’t an ending, then you weren’t paying attention.
February 22nd, 2008 at 6:28 pm
MarcDom7, I think Timbotron and Allison were being slightly tongue-in-cheek. But I have to agree with them. I paid attention, and I still hated the “ending.”
**SPOILER**
**SPOILER**
**SPOILER**
I also hated the fact that a major character dies offscreen. WTF? See David Denby’s very cogent essay about the Coen brothers in this week’s New Yorker.
February 25th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
[...] week, Blogadilla co-author Allison and I did our share of bitching about the (lack of an) ending to the Coen Brother’s hit movie “No Country for Old [...]