Odd Candies, Part I

March 3rd, 2008 by timbotron

My friend Jodi works next to an extensive candy store. On a weekly basis, she brings me bizarre candy.

This week: Kandy Kastle “Lightning Bunny” candy.

For starters, the candy is designed around the concept that eating gummy bullsh!t is more fun in the dark. Which it is not. A package of 10 gummy blobs, and a pair of light-up tongs (which illuminate the gummy blobs).

This candy may officially be the biggest hassle ever.
They have succeeded in the difficult task of making candy-eating complicated.

Here are the instructions on the back of the package. No joke, have a gander:

1). Be careful removing the opp [sic] bag as you might damage the tongs.
2). Remove the battery “Pull Tag” from the tongs before using.
3). Use the tongs to pick up candy. The light will make the candy glow.
4). Do not mix old and new batteries. Do not mix alkaline, Standard (carbon-zinc), or rechargeable (nickel-cadmium) batteries.
5). Do not place in water as electronics will short.
6). Take out batteries when this toy is not in use.
7). When the light becomes weak, it is time to change the battery.
8). Only batteries of the same or equivalent type as recommended are to be used.
9). Batteries are to be inserted with the correct polarity.
10). Remove batteries when they are dead.
11). The supply terminals are not to be short-circuited.
12). Non-rechargeable batteries are not to be recharged.
13). Use only (2) AG3/LR41.
14). Do not dispose of batteries in fire.
Do not point light into eyes.
Do not put tongs into water, as it will damage them.