Why don’t I have a boyfriend?
March 26th, 2008 by RebeccaSo last week I turned 32. Looking at where I am at in my life and where I thought I’d be at 32, I feel pretty good–I’ve started my own business, traveled the world, already had a couple of interesting professions, I have good friends and a cool dog. I am however missing that special someone. I would have thought that at this age I would be getting serious about finding a life partner and have developed a refined list of desired qualities in a mate, such as shared interests, successful career, thoughtful and spiritual, great lover, etc. Instead, I have whittled my boyfriend requirements down to a pretty simple list of minimum standards. At this point my ideal date must be:
- SINGLE (hard to believe, but I actually have to put this on the list)
- Employed, making more than minimum wage (this is a tough one for me, but struggling artist/musician doesn’t count as employment)
- Living in their own place (don’t have to own a house, just not be couch-surfing or living with their parents)
- Born in the 70’s (although old dudes seem to dig me, I don’t dig them–Viagra or not)
- The owner of a car (that runs)
- Capable of basic hygiene and grooming (I don’t want someone I have to dress or who has flesh-eating bacteria)
- Not the owner of a bong or a keg-erator (I’m flexible however on the keg-erator, they ARE handy for entertaining)
- Straight (I’d consider openly bi-sexual, just not gay and in denial)
Looking back over the past 17 years or so of my love life I have to say that I have actually never been involved with someone who meets all of the above criteria. Sometimes I think it’s just me, but believe it or not I am kind of picky when it comes to men. And I’m kind of a catch. So, if you or someone you know fits the above criteria and lives within 30 minutes of Watsonville, CA, I’d be happy to hear from you! But at this point the next well-meaning person who asks me, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” is going to get punched in the mouth.
March 27th, 2008 at 1:52 am
Oh, just last week I heard from a friend that she and her boyfriend had had a conversation about the matter that “It would do good for Elina to be in a relationship” WTF? Do I seem so pathetic I need just someone or anyone to be considered as a decent human being? Maybe I´ll copy your list and edit it to suit me..
March 28th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
I’d date you Becky. If you can’t get a boyfriend, what f’ing luck do I have?!
March 29th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
How about a religious nutcase?