This week’s installment of the Jodi Cat Sh!t Art Project (JCSAP):

“Winner Number 2″

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Yes, today’s the day. Take a shorter shower, ride your bike to work, and arrive late and sweaty with shampoo residue still in your hair. Or you could just watch this clip from the Daily Show– Jon Stewart is always down to put Mother Earth in her place.

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Today I took this picture of a Starbucks . . .
FROM INSIDE A STARBUCKS ACROSS THE STREET!!!

San Francisco. 100 block of Battery Street near California Street.

I’m too cool to patronize a Starbucks, so let’s say I was in there to use the bathroom.

The Blogadilla Starbucks Challenge:
I will send a free Blogadilla T-shirt (when we get them made in the next month or so) to the first person who can send us a photograph with three separate Starbucks coffeeshops appearing in it.

Contest rules:
• Kiosks do not count, must be a full-fledged coffeeshop.

• They must be three separate Starbucks coffeeshops.

• You cannot use Photoshop, etc. - the photo must be untouched and all three must be clearly visible.

• It must be one photo, no panoramas (but send them anyway), or fish-eye lens shots.

• The photo must be yours and taken by you (not taken from a website, etc.).

• You must provide the specific addresses of the three Starbucks locations.

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John McCain = Popeye. That is all.

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Last Fall, someone tried repeatedly to break into a neighbor’s apartment - windowscreens torn or pulled off, and attempts to pry open the window locks. I helped her to better fortify her windows and I decided it would be wise to protect my own.

I went with minor antipersonnel gardening: planter boxes beneath all of the windows, each filled with cacti. The project itself cost around $25 for each antipersonnel planter box, and it took an afternoon to do. IKEA (at the time) had sets of 3 small cacti for ~$5.00 and single large cacti for ~$5.00 each.

Some points to consider:
• This won’t prevent anyone from breaking in if they are hellbent on doing so. It provides ‘disincentive’ - making it uncomfortable or more difficult to casually approach and open windows from the outside. They provide a visual threat (I’ve considered adding poison oak to some of the planter boxes, also).

• The cost is relatively low.

• It is easy to do - Screw the planter box into the bottom of the window sill. I suggest you use BBQ tongs or pliers to handle the cacti when you’re planting them.

• It is easy to maintain - Cacti are low-maintenance and often only need watering on a monthly basis.

• It looks cool - every time I look out the window, it looks like I’m in Arizona.

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Over a decade ago I was a junior high teacher. Being the Spanish teacher, the students didn’t know me as “Mr. King,” but as “Señor Rey.”

Early in the school year I confiscated a note being passed around - it was a drawing of me with a gigantic forehead. I was losing my hair at the time and in Bruce Willis fashion my forehead was getting larger. The students laughed loudly when I saw the picture and I asked, “My forehead doesn’t really look like this, does it?!?” The students assured me of the cyclopean proportions of my forehead, and that indeed my head was shaped like a brick.

For the remainder of the school year, any time I would turn my back to the class, another Señor Rey forehead illustration would be slipped onto my desk. I made it clear that I thought it was funny, and the humor was always kept at a sane level, and at least they weren’t trashing my car.

Here is a gallery of a few of (the hundreds of) drawings I received throughout the school year:

(more…)

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Over the last several months, I’ve been in the habit of collecting odd ice creams: any time I pass a Dairy Queen or a Foster’s Freeze and there is a poster in the window advertising something new and colorful and hideous, I’ll buy it and photograph it and eat it (if it is palatable).

Here’s the collection so far (click on the photos for a nice downloadable wallpaper of each):

Santa Cruz Boardwalk: Vanilla soft-serve with cotton candy blue syrup ribbon.

Foster’s Freeze: Vanilla soft-serve with grape waxy ‘dip’ coating on the outside (smelled like grape, tasted like crayon).

Baskin and Robbins: Apple and grape sherbet with PopRocks mixed-in, on top of pink and blue cotton candy ice cream.

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“And I’ll have a vanilla . . . one of the ‘vanilla bullshit’ things. You know, whatever you want . . . some ‘vanilla bullshit latte cappa-thing’. You know, whatever you got. I don’t care.”

- Larry David ordering a coffee at Starbucks, in Curb Your Enthusiasm (Episode 8, Season 2)

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Head over to BarackObamaIsYourNewBicycle.com for randomly generated, positive sentences (often with a geeky tinge) about Barack Obama that are amusing even if at times non sequitur. A few amusing ones that were just generated for me:

• “Barack Obama wanted you to have some cupcakes.”
• “Barack Obama followed you on Twitter.”
  
• “Barack Obama picked you up at the airport.”
• “Barack Obama carries a picture of you in his wallet.”
  

OK, OK, moderately funny and definitely bizarre, but like so many other web phenomenons, this site’s success has brought along its fair share of copycats, my favorite of which has got to be HillaryIsMomJeans.com. The site’s format is nearly identical to Barack…Bicycle.com, but instead of Pro-Obama phrases, HillaryIsMomJeans contains non-sensical negative Hillary-phrases.

It’s not that I hate Hillary, or even that I think what makes this site funny is about being negative to Hillary, but rather, identifying with the things other people seem hate. Hillary Clinton just happens to be a vehicle for this hillarity. A few choice phrases I’ve come across so far are:

• “Hillary folded the map wrong.”
• “Hillary always says ‘Knock, Knock’ when she enters your office.”
• “Hillary asked you to pick up her drycleaning.”
• “Hillary did not make lemonade out of lemons.”

So, the question is whether these are subliminally effective. I’d say very likely. It might be easy to just laugh at the ridiculousness of such a proposition, but at the same time, it’s so easy to click through the phrases on these sites, that one can’t help chuckling, and ultimately leaves the site with a slightly more positive feeling for Obama, or in the latter case, a negative sentiment toward for Hillary, for things she didn’t even do.

I’m waiting now for JohnMcCainIsYourGreatGreatGreatGreatGreatGreatGrandfather.com.

(via Eliot)

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Japanese Kewpie™ brand Tarako (cod roe) pasta sauce has an insane marketing campaign. For example: their product icon is a Kewpie (English: Cupie) doll wearing a cod roe egg sac.

Their commercials are entertaining and disturbing at the same time - which is the best flavor of entertaining.

• The Tarako dancing girls sing the praises of cod roe, with hypnotic Danny Elfmanesque music and with Björk video sensibilities.
• Extraterrestrial cod roe babies abduct a little girl at the beach.
• Tarako cod roe babies invade the home of a miniature Björk.
• A catatonic young girl has a hallucination about cod roe babies.
• Another girl at the beach is claimed by the Tarako invasion force.
• Cod roe stormtroopers catch a young girl at the dinnertable.
• A cheerleader who is WAY too happy about cod roe.

It is guaranteed that you’ll have this damn song stuck in your head for hours after watching this (even if you don’t understand Japanese) - it is even worse than the Algorithm Exercise.

“Tattara tattara taratara tarako
Tattara tattara taratara tarako

Onaka ga naru to yatte kuru
Nakama wo tsurete yatte kuru
Tarako kabutte kao dashite
Suiccho suiccho dekakemasu

Futo ki ga tsukeba mado no soto
Futo ki ga tsuku to ie no naka”

“Cod, cod, cod, cod, cod, cod, cod eggs
Cod, cod, cod, cod, cod, cod, cod eggs.

When your stomach rumbles, they come
They come, bringing their friends
They put on their cod egg hats with their faces showing
And effortlessly, effortlessly head out.

Before you know it, they’re outside your window
Before you know it, they’re in your house.”

Bonus Round:
Dress up your own Tarako cod roe baby.

(via Notcot)

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If you love pranks, or are just an a$$hole and want to piss off/lose your friends, you may or may not want to check out CalltheFuture.org, a unique service that until April Fools’ Day, I had never heard of. Sure, I’m a little late bringing to the site, but this is still worth addressing for all y’all Dillas out there.

Before I get started, however, let me state that CalltheFuture makes it clear that their service is not to be used for pranks. I personally would never do this, nor advocate it, but that doesn’t mean my buddy (who will remain nameless) wouldn’t… So again, I’m not advocating this– just bringing some interesting knowledge I happened across to the Dillasphere.

CalltheFuture’s service is marketed as a tool to help people remind themselves about important future engagements, from meetings and appointments to other responsibilities, allowing users to schedule “courtesy” calls in the future to any phone number they choose at any given time. In theory, this could be very useful, such as if I have to pick up my buddy from the airport at 3pm a week from now and I’m worried I might forget– I can just schedule a call for 12 noon that day to remind me. Sweet, right? Just type in a string of text you want read to you, plug in the phone number you want to call, type in the number you want to show up as the caller ID(!), and choose one of 7 voices (male or female, aged 30-55) you want to read your text. The rest, as they say, is magic.

Sure, CTF can be useful, but the possibility of tomfoolery is large. My advice is this: don’t not not pull pranks on your friends, such as setting up calls to your roommate at 5am daily, or programming nasty calls to your ex-girlfriend every hour on the hour.

(Image modified via CartoonStock.com)

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When you’ve been traumatized by goatse [SFW], you’ll see it everywhere . . . even years later.

I saw this one last weekend:
Marini’s Munchies (Candy Store) on the Santa Cruz Municipal Wharf.

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Last week’s episode of NBC’s “30 Rock” featured a fictitious reality TV show called “MILF Island” (clip below).

“Holy Hot Mamas!
But who will be the final Mommy You’d Like to . . . you know . . . ?
Twenty MILFs, fifty eighth grade boys, and no rules!
And tonight . . . one winner!
Welcome to MILF Island!”

clip:

And NBC has already come through with the goods:
MILF Island T-Shirts!

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Here’s a fun tidbit to entertain you during for the remainder of your afternoon until your weekend emancipation from whatever-it-is-you-do.

Enjoy!

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It’s here: the exciting conclusion to “Aliens (Sweded Edition)”!!

As you can see by the out-takes at the end, we had a blast filming this.

We hope you enjoy the show:

DailyMotion link
Google Video link
Yahoo! Video link

Update 4/21: We made the front page of SwededFilms.com!

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This week, I bring you two bacon products– one tame; one risqué (and possibly NSFW). CHOOSE YOUR OWN BACON ADVENTURE! (OK, so what if it’s not as complex as those books that were all the rage when I was in elementary school?)

Tame Bacon: “Pocket Bacon”

‘Pocket Bacon‘ is crocheted from red and white yarn can be yours for the low price of $5.00 + S/H. As the artist says, this is “seriously the dumbest thing I have ever made but you guys seem to like it” and “You can use this as a bookmark but other than that I am at a loss, I mean, you SO TOTALLY need this.” Click the image below to order:

Risqué Bacon: The Bacon Bra

The Bacon Bra is quite possibly the strangest application of an uncooked meat product that I’ve seen– well, it comes close (read #31693)– and I’m not sure The Bacon Bra is safe for work, but I’m going to post it anyways, since there’s no nudity or anything. Suffice to say, if you hear your boss approaching, stop reading this page and switch to another tab in your browser until the coast is clear. Or, if you work in the garment industry, perhaps your boss will feel you’ve discovered an entire new line of products. You be the judge.

The good news here is that you can procure a bacon bra at your local supermarket without paying shipping and handling (woman not included; sorry guys). Personally, I’m thinking of creating and patenting the Bacon Jock Strap. Either that or the Bacon Manzier (the Bacon Bro?). Thoughts?

(Bacon Bra via Laura, via Slashfood; Pocket Bacon via SteveB, via Etsy)

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Some friends and neighbors and I filmed this this weekend.
It was a blast.
Stay tuned for part 2.

DailyMotion link
Google Video link
Yahoo! Video link

Update 4/21: We made the front page of SwededFilms.com!

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A very clever British ad.  How aware am I?  Clearly not aware enough!

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It seems everyone and their mother is on Facebook these days, but people use the site for a variety of different reasons… keeping in touch with friends, procrastinating, getting some random play, playing scrabble with loved ones, stalking secret crushes– the list goes on and on. But how do you use The ‘Book? This comedic ‘infomercial’ delves into the issue.

(Thanks to Katya for the heads up!)

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