Q: Are you currently at work?

1). YES
2). NO

If you answered YES to the previous question, turn back now, go somewhere safer, do not read any further (until you get home).

The following is so NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

I am officially naming the game “Smurf Porn.”
This is a game that you’ve likely played already:
Turn the “safe search” off on your browser and type in any word, plus the word “porn.”

Results: Holy sh!t.

20 minutes of this revealed stupefying results for “_____ + porn”:

• Smurf (I so wish I was kidding about this one)

• Zombie

• Dinosaur (apparently dinosaurs speak German)

• Bowling

• Power Rangers (via Fleshbot)

• Airline Stewardess (duh, but I had to see)

• Bigfoot (Oh, man.)

• The Easter Bunny (Is nothing sacred!?!)

• The Exorcist

• Superman (yes, the man of steel)

• Clown (this just made every childhood birthday party a little creepy)

[and their arch-enemies StopClownPornNow.org]

• Ballet

• McDonald’s (called “Mzinald’s”)

Tags: bad taste, funny as hell, genitalia, products, sex, signs of the Apocalypse, video, why the terrorists will win, zombies
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