The Nicolas Cage Suck Factor
September 13th, 2008 by timbotron
The “Nicolas Cage Suck Factor” is approximately .75 (75%).
In recent years, the chance of a Nicolas Cage movie sucking is about 75% – only one in every four of his films will not suck.
I was at the movies last night and noticed the poster for Nicolas Cage’s new movie “Bangkok Dangerous” and a couple questions came to mind:
• ”Will Nicolas Cage show up in any movie offered to him?”
• “Since Leaving Las Vegas (1995), which Nicolas Cage movies haven’t sucked?”
Based on the films he’s appeared in since 1995, here is a running list of Sucked and Not Sucked (though not necessarily great, either). This is the data pool I used to generate the “Nicolas Cage Suck Factor.”
Not Sucked:
• Leaving Las Vegas
• City of Angels (almost sucked)
• Adaptation
• Lord of War
• National Treasure (almost sucked)
Sucked:
• The Rock
• Con Air (yeah, I know, some liked it)
• Face/Off
• Snake Eyes (really sucked)
• 8mm (semi-sucked)
• Bring Out the Dead (semi-sucked)
• Gone in 60 Seconds
• The Family Man
• A Christmas Carol: the Movie
• Matchstick Men
• The Wicker Man (semi-sucked)
• Ghost Rider
• Next
• National Treasure II
• Bangkok Dangerous
Update: To be scientifimical about this, post your own Nicolas Cage Suck Factor in the comments below, based upon the movies listed above and we can create a more accurate general public Nicolas Cage Suck Factor number.
Heywood: .67
Rabbi VonSydow: .67
Timbotron: .75
cmdrtebok: 1.00
Rebecca: .71 (she added a movie)
Allison: .80
September 13th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Face/Off sucked??? It really didn’t.
September 13th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
I agree with the Rabbi. The Rock also didn’t suck.
My personal Nicholas Cage suck factor is .667.
September 14th, 2008 at 9:00 am
I agree with Heywood and (on an incidental tangent) am wondering what Sir Sean’s post ‘95 mean communal suck rating would look like. Pretty dismal, I imagine.
September 14th, 2008 at 9:29 am
The Nicolas Cage suck factor is at 100%. He is the worst thing that has ever happened to the movies. Although he wasn’t in The Terminal, the absolute worst movie ever made, Everything on that list sucked especially National Treasure. Leaving Las Vegas was alright though…
September 15th, 2008 at 12:25 am
My Nicholas Cage suck factor is 71%. Adaptation was awesome. You missed Weatherman which is actually really good. I thought Family Man and Matchstick Men were okay. Almost all of the other movies I never actually saw because they had Nicolas Cage and they looked really sucky. Leaving Las Vegas was really fucking overrated and could have been edited down to about 20 minutes, too.
September 15th, 2008 at 11:11 am
I liked matchstick men!
September 15th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
National Treasure so sucked! and so did City of Angels! Come on! Face Off is ridiculous and excellent!
September 25th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
i haven’t seen many of the movies on the list, but 8mm definitely did not suck imho.
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:02 pm
I have to completely agree with the post. It is true…National Treasure almost sucked and is actually on the borderline of sucking if you watch it a few times. I have a liking for Face-Off “Take his face…off…” but it probably deserves to be in the crap list.
To Poster/Site Owner: I love this post, check out my site, and type in “Nicolas Cage” into the Search bar…This should provide an extension to this post and add to the overall weakness of this actor hah!
March 14th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
here’s a little breakdown of what i think about cage movies..
Face Off is retarded, for one how can u switch faces with a shorter fatter person and your body still look the same. City of Angels worst movie ever and i really dont have any reasoning besides the whole idea was horrible and meg ryan got hit by a bus. Con Air, cage’s accent ruined the entire movie for me.
March 19th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Nic is the worst actor alive. Can you even watch one of his movies and get lost in it? All I can think about is how horrible of an actor he is. The only good one was Raising Arizona, which was only good because I was 9. I give the joke of an actor a 1.00. Suck factor is HIGH
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:46 am
Everything after Vampire’s Kiss has sucked. The end.
November 18th, 2009 at 10:25 am
He has no acting skills. Only reason he was good in Las Vegas is because that is his true character. Furthermore, he is a selfish ass. Can’t believe he’s related to copalos. Will never watch any movie with him in it!
December 28th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
You realize you said he hasn’t made a good movie since Leaving Las Vegas but every movie BESIDES LLV on your “didn’t suck” list came out AFTER LLV. You also make no mention of Raising Arizona or The Weatherman.
Why is it so chic to hate on Cage who has made legitimately good movies while Christopher Walken and Samuel Jackson CONSISTANTLY play the same character and will tell you, out loud, they take almost every script sent to them?
I think if you do a cross section of any actors career you could pull similiar numbers out of your ass like this. Congratulations on sucking.
January 21st, 2010 at 6:35 pm
My Nic Cage suck factor is exactly the same, except I’d replace City of Angels with Bringing Out the Dead. City of Angels was absolutely awful. Bringing Out the Dead wasn’t great, considering it was a Scorsese movie. But Nic Cage was pretty good in it, so I give it a pass. Snake Eyes, 8mm, Matchstick Men, and Gone in 60 Seconds are up there with the worst movies I’ve ever seen. I didn’t see Wicker Man, Next, or Bangkok Dangerous, though, but I’m going to assume they were not good.
April 13th, 2010 at 11:09 pm
How do you live with yourself? The Rock is one of the best movies of all – time. Face off and Con-Air are classics. Go Fist yourself timbotron you classless SOB!
April 16th, 2010 at 2:23 am
Would you believe it: I WAS fisting myself when I wrote it.
And yes: I have no class.
Nicolas Cage still sucks in most of the movies he does. But “National Treasure”, “Raising Arizona”, “City of Angels”, and “Leaving Las Vegas” are the films that keep me from hating him.
July 16th, 2010 at 10:25 pm
I agree. If he is in a movie me and my friends will not see it. He is just not cool. He never was. I guess hollywood just feels sorry for him because he looks like a nerd and spent all of his money trying to look cool.