Iron Man 2

Glad it’s not 3-D:
Mickey Rourke’s face is too much;
like “Mask” with tattoos.

Robots and lasers
and Samuel L. Jackson!
Shitloads of ’splosions!

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Max needs therapy:
waaaaay too heavy for children.
“Art Film,” not “Kid Film.”

Carl Jung with monsters.
Furries with Indie music.
Goth teens will love it.

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I never knew the
Rules for zombie survival
Until this movie.

Many rules are key
But the most important is:
Always double tap.

Zombie Killing Bonus Round:

Two Haiku Video Game Review: Left 4 Dead

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Despite the graphics
Duck Hunt is still a classic
Among games today

You might miss more ducks
But you look cooler if you
Hold the gun sideways

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District 9 was great–
Alien meets Iron Man.
Audience applause,

Compelling throughout.
District 10 will be epic;
Blomkamp delivers.

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Team up with three friends
And fight off bloodthirsty hordes
Of killer zombies

You cannot survive
The zombie apocalypse
Without shotgun shells

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It’s almost as if
Steroids were banned from baseball
And put in this game

BIGS 2 makes me think
Prince Fielder is no longer
Vegetarian

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Holy f&#*ing s#!t
This movie is outrageous
Brace yourself people

Bless America . . .
Homophobia exposed
Brüno For The Win

Bonus Round: Brüno on Meinspace

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Gruesome robot deaths!
And an hour-long ad for
the U.S. Army:

“An Army of One . . .
That Turns Into a Sports Car
and F*&%s-up Egypt.”


Movie Pluses:
• The boombox Transformer Soundwave is re-envisioned as a communications satellite.
• The gigantic Transformer Devastator (composed of seven smaller Transformers).
• An unnamed razor-thin Transformer (camouflage: it can’t be seen head-on).

Movie Minuses:
• The film is 150 minutes long.
• Shia LaBeouf doesn’t die.
• Megan Fox’s bad collagen and tanning salon choices.
• Although I’m a big supporter of robot violence, this isn’t a good film for young children.
• About an hour of the film is dedicated to the American Armed Forces and little else; awkward, bordering on annoying.

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Mockumentary:
under-appreciated
Japanese giant.

Paid to fight monsters,
but he’s not paid all that well.
Two giant thumbs up.

Trailer:



Monster Island Bonus Round:
Pink Tentacle’s nice article on Edo-period monster paintings by Sawaki Suushi (1737).



Giant Octopus Bonus Round:
Kaiju Big Battel – monster fights coming to a city near you.

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