Two Haiku Movie Review: Brüno
Monday, July 13th, 2009
Holy f*ing s#!t
This movie is outrageous
Brace yourself people
Bless America . . .
Homophobia exposed
Brüno For The Win
Bonus Round: Brüno on Meinspace

Holy f*ing s#!t
This movie is outrageous
Brace yourself people
Bless America . . .
Homophobia exposed
Brüno For The Win
Bonus Round: Brüno on Meinspace
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Gruesome robot deaths!
And an hour-long ad for
the U.S. Army:
“An Army of One . . .
That Turns Into a Sports Car
and F*&%s-up Egypt.”
Movie Pluses:
• The boombox Transformer Soundwave is re-envisioned as a communications satellite.
• The gigantic Transformer Devastator (composed of seven smaller Transformers).
• An unnamed razor-thin Transformer (camouflage: it can’t be seen head-on).
Movie Minuses:
• The film is 150 minutes long.
• Shia LaBeouf doesn’t die.
• Megan Fox’s bad collagen and tanning salon choices.
• Although I’m a big supporter of robot violence, this isn’t a good film for young children.
• About an hour of the film is dedicated to the American Armed Forces and little else; awkward, bordering on annoying.
Big Man Japan (limited U.S. release May 15, 2009).

Mockumentary:
under-appreciated
Japanese giant.
Paid to fight monsters,
but he’s not paid all that well.
Two giant thumbs up.

Trailer:
Monster Island Bonus Round:
Pink Tentacle’s nice article on Edo-period monster paintings by Sawaki Suushi (1737).

Giant Octopus Bonus Round:
Kaiju Big Battel – monster fights coming to a city near you.

Big explosions and
motorcycle robots!! Sweet!!
One-point-five thumbs up!
Good visuals and
mediocre plot. Nearly
Schwarzenegger free.
Totally Unrelated Note:
Hobo-Fighting Robots
Totally Related Note:
Terminator 2: Judgement Day Sweded edition
Set phasers to RAD!
Star Trek made respectable.
Casting was perfect.
Personal favorite:
Karl Urban as “Bones” McCoy.
Best Star Trek ever.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Great special effects;
Brad Pitt looked ninety years old.
But you’ll spend three hours.
Cate Blanchett is great,
Even as an old lady.
A strange but good film.
A blast from the past,
Nixon has a sweaty lip;
Worth your ten dollars
Entertaining flick.
Frost looks just like John Edwards
Check this movie out.
Explosions were cool;
Militaries are complex;
Hitler was a douche.
Cruise can’t speak German;
This movie put me to sleep;
Ultra depressing.
Keanu Reeves comes
to Earth and gets all preachy.
With a big robot.
It lacked the key phrase;
no Klaatu Barada Nikto.
But had a cool orb.