Two Haiku Movie Review: Shoot ‘Em Up
Monday, September 10th, 2007
A baby, carrots,
and a sh!tload of bullets.
It’s Kung Fu with guns.
Worth watching, but gross.
Somehow during the gunfight
a story broke out.
Archive for the ‘Two Haiku Movie Reviews’ Category
Two Haiku Movie Review: “The Kingdom” (sneak peek edition)
Friday, September 7th, 2007The Kingdom - In Theaters September 28, 2007
Lots of blood and gore;
Not an optimistic film.
Fox News’ favorite.
Jennifer Garner
is very, very badass.
Don’t give her a knife!
Two Haiku Movie Review: “Balls of Fury”
Monday, September 3rd, 2007
Def Leppard soundtrack.
Christopher Walken was great.
Everyone else . . . sucked.
If you have seen the
trailer for this film then you’ve
seen all the best parts.
Two Haiku Movie Review: War
Saturday, August 25th, 2007
Jet Li cannot act.
I want back those one hundred
minutes of my life.
This is what happens
when you let your personal
trainer write a film.
Two Haiku Movie Review: The Invasion
Sunday, August 19th, 2007
Nicole Kidman was
perfect for this role because
she married Tom Cruise.
A great metaphor:
Church of Scientology.
“Would you like some tea?”
Two Haiku Movie Review: Superbad
Saturday, August 18th, 2007
A pile of d*ck jokes.
It kicks five flavors of ass!
This year’s top movie.
Emma Stone: “It Girl.”
Jonah Hill will win awards.
Two words: McLovin.
Two Haiku Movie Review: The Simpsons Movie and The Bourne Ultimatum
Saturday, August 4th, 2007
Bourne Ultimatum:
Better than the second film.
Jason Bourne kicks ass.
Though she’s 51,
Joan Allen is a hottie.
She made the movie
Laughed so hard I peed,
though the plot was kind of lame.
Frontal nudity!
High definition.
Funnier than TV shows.
I love “Spider Pig.”