“Just look at this obviously innovative design . . . I am so thrilled just thinking about how I get to touch this.”

- Yuki Kurita, 23, Japanese iPhone G3 purchaser

(via Angie)

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“Sometimes the best things in life are mean.”

- my friend/enemy (”frenemy”) Heather

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“I feel like a refugee from the Island of Dr. Moreau.”

- Brand Hauser (John Cusak), in War, Inc.

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“Kick ass! If somebody tries to stop the march to democracy we will seek them out and kill them! We must be tougher than hell! This Vietnam stuff…it’s not even close! It is a mindset! We can’t send that message! It’s an excuse to prepare us for the withdrawal! This is a series of moments and this is one of them! Our will is being tested but we are resolute! We have a better way! Stay strong! Stay the course! Kill them! Be confident! Prevail! We are going to wipe them out! We are not blinking! ”

- George W. Bush’s pre-Iraq war pep-talk to U.S. Generals
as recounted in General Ricardo S. Sanchez’s book, Wiser in Battle, seen on Countdown with Keith Olbermann

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“It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase ‘As pretty as an airport’ appear.”

- Author Douglas Adams

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“I always say, ‘Come to America, go to community college and marry a Kennedy.’ It’s all very simple”

- Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger

(via Susan)

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“If Hillary gave Obama one of her cojones, they’d both have two”

- James Carville on ABC’s Nightline

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“Mrs. Clinton, we’re assured by sources right and left, tortures puppies and eats babies. But her policy proposals continue to be surprisingly bold and progressive.”

- Op-Ed columnist Paul Krugman in the New York Times

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“Live TV is for suckers.”

- Jodi’s friend Jefferson

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“And I’ll have a vanilla . . . one of the ‘vanilla bullshit’ things. You know, whatever you want . . . some ‘vanilla bullshit latte cappa-thing’. You know, whatever you got. I don’t care.”

- Larry David ordering a coffee at Starbucks, in Curb Your Enthusiasm (Episode 8, Season 2)

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“‘Platypus’? I thought it was pronounced ‘platymapus.’ Has it always been pronounced ‘platypus’? ”

- Jessica Simpson

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“Of course that one thing we all should have learned as children is if there’s something you want with all of your heart - with every fiber of your being - you’re certain not to get it.”

- Dr. Joel Fleischman (Rob Morrow) in Northern Exposure (Season 4, Episode 18)

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“[It] is chemistry – or biology – it has nothing to do with hearts and flowers and the like. We are all, in our own way, completely and totally alone. If love is real, it is a complete and total failing of the intellect. It is utter self-destruction. It is pandemonium.”

- Joe Meno in “The Boy Detective Fails“

Happy F%#ing Valentine’s Day

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“Love is the world’s worst seeing-eye dog.”

- Timbotron

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“How many of you own a self-help book? That’s your first problem. You can’t help yourself, because yourself sucks. If you’re helping yourself, that means you’re being helped by a complete asshole.”

- Doctor P (Billy Bob Thornton) in “School for Scoundrels“

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“The only thing all men have in common with one another is their inherent capacity to make mistakes. . . But there is wonder in the attempt, knowing we are all destined to fall short, but forgoing reason and fear time and time again so deliberately.”

- Joe Meno in “The Boy Detective Fails“

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“Guess what? I got a fever and the only prescription is . . . more cowbell.”

- Bruce Dickenson, gold record maker

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“No need to give up a good theory just because it isn’t true.”

- Billy Covington (Robert Downey Jr.) in “Air America“

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“Never give a sword to a man who cannot dance.”

- Confucius

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“Flavor Flav loves stickin’ it to the white man . . . and that white man is Brigitte Nielsen.”

- comedian Jeffrey Ross at the Friar’s Club roast of Flavor Flav

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