Foreign branding is the art of making a brand name sound attractively foreign.

The formula for making an ice cream/frozen yogurt name:
• Two words.
• First word two syllables, second word one syllable.
• Have at least one Z or S.
• The first word should end in N.
• Put a diaeresis ön top of ëvery third vöwel.

Häagen Dazs – An American ice cream company, founded in the Bronx in 1961. Neither word exists in any Scandinavian or Northern European language.

Frusen Glädjé – An American ice cream company, founded in 1980. Unsuccessfully sued by Häagen Dazs in 1981 for “stealing their fake Scandinavian idea.” Surprisingly, “frusen glädje” (without the accent) actually means “frozen joy” in Swedish.

Yogen Früz – An American frozen yogurt franchise founded in 1986. Neither the word “yogen” nor “früz” exists in any Scandinavian or Northern European language.

Freshëns – A frozen yogurt and smoothie franchise based in Atlanta, Georgia. Also known as “Yogurt Ventures U.S.A., Inc.” The word does mean “fresh” or “freshen” in Swedish, Danish, and Norwegian, but still sounds like a Scandinavian feminine hygiene product.

Lïnk:
A nice Clicknation article on foreign branding by Bruce Campbell.

Tötali Reläted:
The Blogadilla Swedish Furniture Name Generator

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Every time I order Chinese Food, the question arises:

“Who the hell is General Tso of General Tso’s Chicken?”

For those of you inexperienced in the ways of General Tso’s Chicken – it is a deep fried chicken dish, usually spicy with a sweet sauce, and a near universal of American Chinese Food restaurants.

General Tso is actually General Zuǒ Zōngtáng – a military general of Qing Dynasty China and a native of Hunan Province. In 1860, Zuǒ served as a military leader during the Taiping Rebellion and is accredited for driving the Taiping rebels from Hunan and Guangxi Provinces.

According to Wikipedia, General Tso’s Chicken does not exist in General Zuǒ’s hometown of Xiangyin, nor in the Hunan province capitol of Changsha. Also, descendants of Zuǒ still living in Xiangyin report that they have never heard of this dish.

This dish first appeared in the American Chinese restaurant pantheon sometime in the 1970’s and may be a creation of American restaurants.

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Though the art of engraving designs onto metal currency pre-existed “Hobo Nickels,” when the American “Indian Head Nickel” was released in 1913, the art form took off. Given the large size and relative low cost of the nickel, this became the canvas of choice among hobos – often adding a hat and scruffy beard to the Indian portrait, making him into a hobo.

The Original Hobo Nickel Society (OHNS) is doing its best to keep this odd artform alive – take a look at their gallery of newly crafted Hobo Nickels.

(via Garry)

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Skyfish (also known as “rods” or “solar entities”) are a fairly recent cryptozoological phenomena – since the beginning of affordable video cameras. They appear as small semitransparent rods with ridged lateral membranes [top right and left photos, artist's reconstruction bottom left]. According to enthusiasts, they can only been seen through a video camera – they dart through the air at such a velocity that they are unseen by the naked human eye.

The reality: There is no record of anyone ever catching a skyfish, though a Chinese effort to catch them (in 2005) revealed ordinary flying insects. Given that all skyfish evidence comes from video footage – and first-hand observations from skyfish enthusiasts/idiots – the answers to the mystery are obvious: frame-rate, motion blur, birds, and insects. The combination of the slower frame-rate of most video cameras (50-60 fps) and the frequency of ‘wing-flap’ of insects and (small) birds in flight produces a blurred/elongated body with multiple wing-flap cycles within a single frame set. A similar effect can be seen in high speed footage of birds and insects in flight [bottom right photo].

How to Catch a Skyfish:

Bonus Round:
The stick used to catch skyfish is called a “spoodle.”

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This sport is common throughout several east and southeast Asian cultures, usually involving the large horned beetles of the Rhinoceros beetle subfamily (Dynastinae), whose members include the awesome Hercules beetle (Dynastes hercules) and the Atlas beetle (Chalcosoma atlas). The large “horns” of the males are used for territorial fighting, where they will wrestle in an attempt to topple one another, until one submits, retreats, or is knocked-off a perch. Fighting these beetles is a popular gambling sport throughout Asia, from Thailand to Hong Kong (another link).

In Japan, collecting and fighting these beetles is common among boys – Rhinoceros beetles are easy pets to care for. These fighting pets are common enough in Japan that one can even buy Rhinoceros beetles from streetside vending machines (photo from the Photomann gallery of Japanese vending machines), and there are many Japanese toys and models that relate to Rhinoceros beetle collecting. Also, this practice is the likely origin of the Japanese game Pokémon, which gained world popularity in the late 1990’s, and which focuses on the collecting, husbandry, and fighting of supernatural creatures.

There are also dire “blood sport” forms of bug fighting, involving more dangerous insects, arachnids, and crustaceans – as seen on the website Japanese Bug Fights! (sadly, sometimes the matches end in fatalities).

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A Rat King is not the King of Rats, despite what certain dippy ballets and Dungeons & Dragons geeks would have you think. A Rat King is a mythological creature composed of a mass of rats, stuck together by knotted and intertwined tails. This phenomenon is said to occur when rats nest together in large numbers and their tails somehow naturally tangle together. They are reported to move about as a single entity, running amock and scaring the sh!t out of everyone. This phenomenon/myth appears to be of European origin and the oldest report of a Rat King may date to 1564.

For examples of preserved (hoax) Rat Kings: Linkety – Link – Link

Perhaps only worse than a Rat King is the dreaded squawking Chihuahua King.

(via Susan)

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“What a shame. They had a bartender here, Kino, made the best Rum Cannonball I’ve ever tasted.”

The question comes to mind: Is this a real drink, or something invented by Wes Anderson? From internet discussions and references, it’s hard to tell if this drink actually existed before the movie. Based on an average of posted recipes, I made a Rum Cannonball (actual photo).

The Rum Cannonball
•1 part white rum
•1 part gin
•1 part orange juice
•1 part pineapple juice
•1 part lemon-lime soda
•1 part strawberry soda
Serve over ice with a key lime, pineapple, or tropical orchid garnish.

What does it taste like?: Not bad . . . fruity fizzy booze.

An alternate recipe also exists:
•2 oz rum
•Top-off with orange juice
•4-5 dashes of Angostura bitters

What does it taste like?: Not bad . . . rummy spicey o.j.

Bonus Round: Drink one while wearing a Hotel Citroën t-shirt.

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Santa Claus:
Saint Nicholas – The 4th Century Bishop of Myra (in modern-day Turkey), he was known for giving to the poor. In particular, he was known for providing the dowries for three impoverished sisters – sparing them of a life of begging and prostitution. Saint Nicholas became (among many other things) the patron saint of children. Many cultures honor him on December 6th, weeks before Christmas.

Odin – This Scaninavian/Germanic deity is of profoundly ancient origins and has varied greatly throughout history. During the 8th Century AD, he was envisioned by the Vikings as an old bearded man who rode a great white eight-legged horse [an ancient misinterpretation of artworks showing two horses side-by-side]. Among many European cultures today, Saint Nicholas still rides a white horse (not a sleigh pulled by reindeer). Every nine years, sacrifices were made to Odin: male slaves and male animals were hung from the branches of trees – a grim prototype of the modern Christmas Tree. Odin lead a great hunting party during the pre-Christian holiday Yule, in late December.

The Tomte – [also called Nisse] In Scandinavian folklore, this supernatural creature is described as a small elderly man with a long white beard who protects a plot of (farm)land and the property and children on it, especially at night. Often described as shape-shifting and having the power of invisibility. This belief still exists in many areas of modern day Scandinavia and the northern Baltic. Many features of the Tomte are incorporated into the modern Santa Claus.

Father Christmas – By the 1600’s, a character known as “Father Christmas” or “Old Christmas” became the embodiment of the Christmas Feast. In Ben Jonson’s “Christmas his Masque” (1616), this figure is described as a fine dressed gentleman of the times, with a long thin beard and carrying a truncheon (a staff/club). As time progressed, this figure acquired a “jolly” persona suiting the holiday: fat, drunk, and happy. At this time, Father Christmas was not associated with children nor gift-giving (the jurisdiction of Saint Nicholas, a distinctly different figure and a different holiday).

Santa Claus – Saint Nicholas came into American culture by way of the Dutch Sint Nicolaas / Sinterklaas in the 18th Century. By the 1800’s, the Dutch Saint Nicholas and the British Father Christmas began to merge into one figure, a gift-giving patron of children that embodies the Christmas Feast. In 1823, Clement Clarke Moore’s “Twas the Night Before Christmas” defined and formalized this new hybrid figure, described very much like the Scandinavian Tomte: a small, jolly, fat, bearded, pipe-smoking, reindeer-riding figure who arrives on Christmas Eve. In the 1890’s, political cartoonist Thomas Nast’s portrayals of Santa Claus further clarified his modern image: red fur coat [though still a range of other colors in many European cultures] with white trim, black leather belt with brooch, etc.

The Evil Assistant of Santa Claus
The Yule Goat – From Germanic origin of unknown antiquity, this goat figure would appear during Yule [later, Saint Nicholas Eve - December 5th] to frighten children, play tricks, demand gifts, and punish those who did not follow Yule or Christmas protocol. The modern-day Swedish performance of Juloffer ["Yule Sacrifice"] is a survival of this – a young man dressed as a goat is “slaughtered” by other costumed singers/performers. Also, large Yule Goat effigies are displayed and burned before Christmas Day in Sweden. Some 17th and 18th Century portrayals of Father Christmas depict him riding the Yule Goat rather than a horse or a sleigh.

The Krampus – Likely derived from the Yule Goat, the Krampus [from the Old High German krampen "claw"] is a demonic figure of the Alps (Austria, Bavaria, Switzerland, and Slovenia) that still exists today and is known by several names. He is often portrayed having goat legs, long horns, a long goat beard, and a sack or basket used to carry away children. He is a companion of Saint Nicholas and appears in the streets at night during the first two weeks of December (focused around the Day of Saint Nicholas) – frightening children and adults, clattering bells and chains [perhaps the origins of Santa Claus's bells], and swatting youngsters with switches. He is often portrayed as a servant of Saint Nicholas and his task is to punish naughty children: leaving a lump of coal, swatting children with a birch switch or broom, or dragging them away in his sack.

Black Peter – Some time prior to the mid-1800’s, “Black Peter” [though known by many names] appears as a companion to Saint Nicholas, and may have been a regional variant of the above Krampus. Black Peter is often portrayed as a Moor – having black skin, a turban, and baggy pantaloons – and some versions claim that he is from Spain (where the Moors once occupied). Traditionally, he served the same purpose as the Krampus – a sinister figure under the control of Saint Nicholas, who dealt-out punishment to bad children and labored for Saint Nicholas. Given the notable racist tone of Black Peter, efforts have been made to modify this character: changing his color, considering him a freed slave who choses to be a servant of Saint Nicholas, or as a friendly companion of Saint Nicholas.

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Aroniaberry (Aronia melanocarpa) – This berry is more commonly known as “Chokeberry” – a name that isn’t very marketable (thus “Aroniaberry”). A deciduous shrub from the wet woodlands and swamps of the American east, aronia berries have the highest concentrations of anthocyanins and proanthocyanidins (which have powerful antioxidant properties) of any known plant. However, aroniaberries taste like ass: all of the unpleasantness of pure cranberries, with a sickly-sweet/overripe finish of rotting plums.

Açai (Euterpe oleracea) – Pronounced “a-sa-i”, this grape-sized drupe actually comes from a species of South and Central American palm. This fruit is high in dietary fiber, contains the sexy omega-6 fatty acid linoleic acid, and is high in anthocyanins and proanthocyanidins (antioxidants). The pleasant taste of açai is somewhere in between cranberry and blueberry, but less powerful.

Dragonfruit (Hylocereus polyrhizus and Hylocereus undatus) – Also known as “Pitahaya”, “Pitaya,” and “Strawberry Pear,” it is perhaps the most spectacular fruit ever. Native to Central and South America, these fruits are produced by epiphytic (tree-dwelling) vine-like cacti. The skin of the ripe fruit is a vibrant pink, with either a pink flesh (H. polyrhizus) or a white flesh (H. undatus) with thousands of tiny dark seeds suspended throughout. The gelatinous flesh has the consistency of soft melon and its mild taste is a combination of subdued kiwi and strawberry. This fruit is primed to become trendy, due to its exotic look, its edibility, and its kick-ass name.

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At around 2,000 feet beneath the sea, isopods have gone from the size of a pea to the size of a f%&$ing lapdog. Behold the ancient looking Bathynomus giganteus – the Giant Isopod. Their large size may be the result of living on the deep ocean floor, which permits small creatures to evolve to gigantic proportions.

If you’d like to see Bathynomus giganteus in person, you won’t need a submarine: the James R. Record Aquarium [Fort Worth, Texas] has live Bathynomus giganteus on exhibit.

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