(found on IronLife)

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Pomegranate is now everywhere and in everything - like that annoying person in highschool or college that had to be seen at every damn party.

Pomegranate is the new kiwi-strawberry - remember that grim period in the 90’s when everything was kiwi-strawberry flavored?

Pomegranate has officially gone too far: I thought it was a cherry or strawberry TootsiePop. And there was annoying-ass pomegranate once again.

Pomegranate TootsiePops
Pomegranate 7-up
Pomegranate ice cream bars
Pomegranate soda
Pomegranate chocolate
Pomegranate JellyBelly jellybeans
Pomegranate soap and cosmetics
Pomegranate martinis

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Greyhound buslines recently released a clever ad slogan:

“There’s a reason you’ve never heard of ‘bus rage’.”

So bad timing.
They are now removing these ads after the recent incident on one of their buses when a passenger (Vincent Weiguang Li, photo below) repeatedly stabbed, decapitated, and cannibalized another passenger.

(photo: Associated Press)

Times Online link, Yahoo! News link

(via Angie)

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“Sometimes the best things in life are mean.”

- my friend/enemy (”frenemy”) Heather

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“Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil” (Loren Bouchard, H. Jon Benjamin) - perhaps one of the funniest shows ever to air on [adult swim]. Already done with its first season, and perhaps already done with its last season - it looks like [adult swim] may not pick “Lucy” up for a second season. Perhaps because it is a little too controversial at times: DJ Jesus (the second coming) and his love interest Lucy (the Daughter of the Devil) live the 20-something hipster life with their friend Judas, while Lucy’s father makes regular attempts to overtake the world. Plus a never-ending supply of priest jokes.

The credits of “Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil” are funnier than an entire season of “Family Guy.”

Watch some: “Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil”

Or buy some: iTunes link

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Vintage footage of professional jackass Bill O’Reilly having a conniption fit (during the shooting of an episode of “Inside Edition”) has made its way around the interwebs in recent weeks.

Honestly, I would be more surprised to see footage of him not acting like a d!ck.

Behold the brilliant Barely Political “unseen footage” edit of the O’Reilly pants-pooping:

(via Mary, via Brave New Films)

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• Wikipedia - the “Mother of all Wikis . . . and -pedias”.

• Uncyclopedia - like Wikipedia, but drunk.

• Conservapedia - like Wikipedia, but stupid and paranoid.

• Dickipedia - like baseball cards, about jerks.

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To drum up excitement for the upcoming Olympic games, and to tap into the audiences that watch Lost and still remember (enjoy?) playing Myst, a new online game called The Lost Ring emerged in late February. The New York Times recently featured an interesting article about the hidden sponsorship of the game, players around the world, and the relatively cheap cost of orchestrating worldwide phenomena. (Interestingly enough, the article was written on April Fools Day, so it’s unclear whether anyone took the review seriously).

Here’s the trailer that started it all:

The game apparently started with 50 bloggers who knew all those sleepless nights spent online had finally paid off, but has now gotten big enough that there are wikis, podcasts and players collaborating around the world to piece together the story and pick up hidden clues left in cities around the world. The game will culminate during the opening ceremony of the Olympics with some sort of tie-in. You can catch up and join in the fun at The Lost Ring Wiki.

(thanks Alexis)

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“‘Platypus’? I thought it was pronounced ‘platymapus.’ Has it always been pronounced ‘platypus’? ”

- Jessica Simpson

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Earlier this month I wrote a post about the spectacular theme-blog Stuff White People Like. And, of course, given the amount of attention this site has received, it was only a matter of time until someone did a lame ripoff. That day has arrived: Stuff Christians Like. Holy sh!t. Literally.

There are a few items that have yet to make it to their list:

#97 - Having to take conventional things and make them ‘Christian,’ as if everything in the secular world is just too damn corrupt or dangerous or just not magical enough.

#99 - Incessantly talking about being Christian in a self-congratulatory manner, to the point of making unimaginative blogs about it.

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Once again, technology is put to good use: Atlanta bar owner Rufus Terrill has created the anti-vagabond “Bum Bot 2000.“

It has a 2,000,000 candlepower floodlight and a water cannon capable of 200 lbs of pressure. The object of this robot is to chase away vagrants, prostitutes, and pushers in his neighborhood. Many of Terrill’s targets are the “sort of people” drawn to a local emergency homeless shelter - he hopes to let them know they aren’t welcome to plague his public streets anymore. The camera feed on the Bum Bot 2000 is projected onto a big screen TV in Terrill’s bar, so patrons can watch prostitutes and hoboes get sprayed with water. This unstoppable security droid may have only one weakness, that hopefully the swarthy homeless will never discover: pushing it over.

Suggestions for a better name for this robot:
•Hobotron 2000
•The Roomba Wet T-Shirt Machine
•BumFighter X1
•Bigot-tron 4000
•The Hobo Soaker
•Go-Starve-Somewhere-Else-O-Matic
•The Hookernator
•Ho-Bot
•D!ckhead with a Watergun 9000

I want to invent “Drunkbot 3000″: it will regularly cover the floor of Terrill’s bar in vomit.

Linkety-link: L.A. Times

(via Susan)

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Ever notice that Nick Nolte on a bad day looks like Gary Busey on a good day?

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This is Robert Echeverria.
He’s 32.
He weights 500 pounds and is 6′ tall.
He’s a gang member.
He stars in a YouTube video where he scams a Del Taco restaurant in Rialto, California.
His bail is set at $125,000.00.
Link: Press-Enterprise story

Bonus Round: What is it about Del Taco that makes people want to act like d!cks (and then brag about it on YouTube)?

People acting like jackasses at Del Taco:
•Chair-throwing fight at Del Taco.
•Fernando fights some guy at Del Taco.
•Climbing a Del Taco.
•Saying obscene things to a complete stranger at Del Taco.
•Two girls get kicked out of Del Taco for running around like a couple of idiots

(via Susan)

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This is a little old, but I still love it:
The First Annual MySpace Stupid Haircut Awards.

(via i-am-bored.com)

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Once again, Google Maps is being put to good use.

RottenNeighbor.com - A venue to warn the universe about your as$hole neighbor who lets their dog crap on your front yard, or that creepy house down the block that might have a meth lab in the basement.

Though it will most likely be employed in anonymous abuse . . .

Por ejemplo:

To you jerks with the wind chimes! -
“Hey, do you people think that it was a coincidence that the wind chimes that hung off of your deck magically had a rubber band wrapped around them recently!? Maybe. Well, I was sure to put another one around it over the weekend. Hopefully, you will get the hint. Next time it keeps me awake or wakes me up I am going to take it to work and get it welded together. Thanks”

noisey sex -
“apt 28 has loud annoying sex till the wee hours of the morning”

(via Susan, via John, via BoingBoing)

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I usually could give a flying F$%# about celebrities.
Other than making fun of them.
Go Fug Yourself has a great drunken Lindsay Lohan and Sharon Stone dialogue - this is some brilliant comedy writing.

(via Susan)

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I think I’m in love.

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A very funny re-subtitled video, in light of the Cowboys’ playoff loss to the now Super Bowl-bound New York Giants. Who knew Hitler was such a sports fan?

(via Bob)

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[Every week my friend Jodi manages to be in the middle of something harsh and/or hilarious]

This week’s Jodi Report is a story of woe and wrongful shame at a local video rental franchise.

Here is the transcript from Jodi’s account:

“So, I went to Blockbuster (I usually get stoned and pick out movies). And I brought the movies up to the register and the guy at the register didn’t even look at my face. And I wrote a check (couldn’t find my ATM card) in my happy cheerleader writing with my Hello Kitty pen. I put my pen back in my purse.

I walk out to my car and then some guy came out after me saying, ‘Can we have our pen back?’ And he was walking toward me . . . and I was getting into my car. He chased me out to my car to get the f*%$ing pen back! I said ‘This is MY PEN.’ And he gave me a stupid look and said (like a smartass), ‘Yeah . . . Can we have OUR PEN back?!’ and the guy at the register and some stupid girl hanging out with them all stared at me as I drove off.

When I got home I called the number on the video receipt and said, ‘I was just in there and just got accused of stealing a pen and I didn’t do it.’ The manager said, ‘I’m sorry ma’am, I’ve gone through $200 worth of pens in the last couple of months and I’ve asked my employees to gently remind customers to not walk off with the pens.’

I got a call back from the manager (minutes later), and he said that this guy doesn’t even work for him and that the guy ‘isn’t right in the head.’ And he apologized. And put a couple free movies on my account . . .

So . . . I realized that the man had a pen shortage. So I bought four packs of pens (48 pens total). And three or four days later when I went to return my movies . . . I shoved all of them in the return slot.”

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Two years ago, The Sneeze posted what may be the worst rendition of “O Holy Night” ever. In fact, this may be the the worst rendition of anything, ever. This song makes Baby Jesus cry.

Follow these directions:
•Turn the volume up as loud as it will go.
•Play this song.
•Halfway through the song, be prepared to pee a little bit; expect minor bleeding from the eardrums.

On an ascending scale of painful noises:
1 - car alarm
2 - mating humpback whales
3 - Minnie Riperton’s “Lovin’ You”
4 - German Shepherd kicked in the crotch
5 - crying sick infant
6 - cat in heat
7 - Vietnamese pop music
8 - crying sick infant being beaten with a cat in heat
9 - Chinese opera
10 - this song

(via The Sneeze. God bless you, Steve)

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