Known as Stripper Fail, this nsfw video will definitely have you laughing for quite a while.  Don’t worry, there’s no nudity here - it’s much worse.

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Though China has five Olympic mascots (”The Fuwa”), several others never made it past the drawing board.

A Blogadilla exclusive: rejected Chinese Olympic mascots.

Maomao - Lil’ Mao Zedong.

Melmel - The Melamine Cat.

I take pleasure in knowing that I’d be shot for doing this if I lived in China.

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Bigfoot lawn art.
$98.95.
SkyMall.

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Throughout gradeschool and highschool, English teachers repeatedly stated that it was our civic duty as Americans to adore and admire the works of Mark Twain. Years later and I still hate him.

Here is a revised list of the many reasons why I think Mark Twain is a douche:

• Tom Sawyer Island and the Mark Twain Riverboat are the lamest rides at Disneyland.

• He gave his characters dippy names like Huckleberry and Pudd’nhead. No kid would have gone by the name Huckleberry - classmates would have called him Hucklefairy or Fuckleberry. And Pudd’nhead already sounds dirty.

• Mark Twain impersonators (”Twainies”) are the lowest strata of the nerd pecking order - even Star Trek geeks and Renaissance Faire nerds make fun of them and beat them up.

• He was overly fond of the word “Yankee,” and often used it as an obscene verb.

• Mark Twain and Colonel Sanders used to go to parties together dressed the same. They thought it would get them chicks.

• Both Ernest Hemingway and Jack London could have taken Twain in a fistfight.

• At a time when people were dying of cholera, the standards for humor were pretty low. Frog jumping contests and suckering someone into painting a fence = SO NOT FUNNY.

• There are dozens of public schools and parks named after Mark Twain, but there isn’t even a single parking lot named after Elmore Leonard.

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At least according to Think Geek, the Japanese kanji character for “lucky” is similar in appearance to the character for “doodie/poo.”
(If anyone can verify this, please do so in the comment section below).

Thus, a golden doodie good luck charm.

For sale at Think Geek.
Only $3.99.

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Last April, British supermarket chain Tesco removed a model of padded bra from their shelves.

It was designed for 7-to-10-year-olds.

A Tesco representative said:
“It is a product designed for girls at that self-conscious age when they are just developing. It is designed to cover up, not flatter, and was developed after speaking to parents.”

UK Telegraph full article

Here are two possible answers to many many questions that come to mind.

(photo by Daniel Brook)

(via L.A.Times)

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Miracle Fruit, Miracle Berry, Magic Berry, or Flavor Berry (Synsepalum dulcificum) - a native West African red berry that contains the active glycoprotein miraculin. When consumed, miraculin has an interesting effect on the tastebuds - for as long as an hour after consumption, it causes sour foods to be perceived as sweet.

Though for several years this fruit has been known in Japan, only recently have Americans started enjoying this phenomenon in their own way - “Flavor Tripping Parties.” At these parties, Miracle Fruit and an assortment of sour foods are served (grapefruit, lime, certain cheeses, etc.) to guests as an experimental/novel type of dinner party (video link).

Given the enthusiasm generated by a recent New York Times article on Miracle Fruit, most internet-based Miracle Fruit vendors are currently sold-out.

Super Bonus Round: Grow your own Miracle Fruit (only takes 4-10 years)!

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(Photo courtesy of Brad, 2008 Bay to Breakers)

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Japanese McDonald’s Commercial

I’m so confused:
She’s hot in a Milla Jovovich “Fifth Element” kind of way (hot), but she’s dressed as Ronald McDonald (creepy), and it reminds me of Ron English (subversive and hip) and clown porn (creepy).

(via Accordion Guy)

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Q: Are you currently at work?

1). YES
2). NO

If you answered YES to the previous question, turn back now, go somewhere safer, do not read any further (until you get home).

The following is so NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

I am officially naming the game “Smurf Porn.”
This is a game that you’ve likely played already:
Turn the “safe search” off on your browser and type in any word, plus the word “porn.”

Results: Holy sh!t.

20 minutes of this revealed stupefying results for “_____ + porn”:

• Smurf (I so wish I was kidding about this one)

• Zombie

• Dinosaur (apparently dinosaurs speak German)

• Bowling

• Power Rangers (via Fleshbot)

• Airline Stewardess (duh, but I had to see)

• Bigfoot (Oh, man.)

• The Easter Bunny (Is nothing sacred!?!)

• The Exorcist

• Superman (yes, the man of steel)

• Clown (this just made every childhood birthday party a little creepy)

[and their arch-enemies StopClownPornNow.org]

• Ballet

• McDonald’s (called “Mzinald’s”)

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What the hell is “diet” water?  You know, I’m actually quite glad I discovered this, because the water I’ve been drinking is so fattening…

For more craziness like this, check out the 10 weirdest Japanese Beverages and Soft Drinks,  including such tasty treats as Pepsi Ice Cucumber soda, Coolpis Kimchee Drink, Mother’s Milk “Breast Milk” (in a carton!), and Water Salad Soda (from Coca Cola!).  Bleghk!

(Thanks for the link, SteveB!)

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Yes, today’s the day. Take a shorter shower, ride your bike to work, and arrive late and sweaty with shampoo residue still in your hair. Or you could just watch this clip from the Daily Show– Jon Stewart is always down to put Mother Earth in her place.

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Today I took this picture of a Starbucks . . .
FROM INSIDE A STARBUCKS ACROSS THE STREET!!!

San Francisco. 100 block of Battery Street near California Street.

I’m too cool to patronize a Starbucks, so let’s say I was in there to use the bathroom.

The Blogadilla Starbucks Challenge:
I will send a free Blogadilla T-shirt (when we get them made in the next month or so) to the first person who can send us a photograph with three separate Starbucks coffeeshops appearing in it.

Contest rules:
• Kiosks do not count, must be a full-fledged coffeeshop.

• They must be three separate Starbucks coffeeshops.

• You cannot use Photoshop, etc. - the photo must be untouched and all three must be clearly visible.

• It must be one photo, no panoramas (but send them anyway), or fish-eye lens shots.

• The photo must be yours and taken by you (not taken from a website, etc.).

• You must provide the specific addresses of the three Starbucks locations.

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When you’ve been traumatized by goatse [SFW], you’ll see it everywhere . . . even years later.

I saw this one last weekend:
Marini’s Munchies (Candy Store) on the Santa Cruz Municipal Wharf.

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As CollegeHumor.com says, “So what if it was their second date? She was the one!”

Ya gotta feel bad for this guy…but at least he got a free beer!

(From SteveB; via CollegeHumor.com)

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How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take in a Fight?

That’s right: all the years of wondering can finally be answered in one easy quiz. It’s good to know that those annoying yet wildly entertaining online quizzes haven’t gone anywhere!

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As the saying goes, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

And those words are:
• Jerry Springer
• “Actually, this is our second child.”
• “Will the real Slim Shady please sit down?!”
• “We cut Sex-Ed class.”
• Future congressman of Arkansas.
• “We got a ‘3-for-the-price-of-2′ special on these photos.”
• 30-year-old grandma.
• “I look just like Demí.”
• “Let’s bring the baby to prom!”

From DIGG: The Best Yearbook Photo Ever.

(via Cindi)

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The Ruins

Why gringoes should not
wander into the jungle:
Red Mayan Death-Vine.

Super sicko deaths.
The four grossest ways to die.
Do not bring your kids.

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When you can’t read the writing on the package, the product images become terrifying.

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2006: As some of you may remember, Chevy trucks thought they’d create a cyber-hip-20-somethings ad campaign where you could make your own Chevy Tahoe commercial . . . and it backfired in a major way.

2008: BMW has decided to walk into the punch. Get a load of BMW’s cyber-virtual-interweb-hipster ad campaign for their new BMW 1 Series: draw on their car with Facebook Graffiti, for a chance to win mediocre prizes.

And the trolls have obliged.

I planned on submitting this fine Photoshop project below, until I discovered that you have to use stupid Facebook Graffiti to do all of your artwork. Dammit!

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