This week’s installment of the Jodi Cat Sh!t Art Project (the JCSAP):

“Ambush at Doody Gulch.”

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Over a decade ago, I was a substitute elementary school teacher (and later a full-time junior high Spanish teacher).

Scene: I’m in charge of a roomfull of first-graders for the entire day. A tiny girl comes up to my desk, big smile on her face, and she hands me a piece of construction paper.

Me: What is it?

Tiny Girl: It’s a picture for you.

Me: Who is it?

Tiny Girl: It’s your mom . . . AND SHE HAS NO HEAD!!!
[girl begins giggling uncontrollably]

Me: Ah. Thank You. It’s lovely. How did you know my mom looks just like this?

I kept it on my fridge for over a year.

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• Wikipedia - the “Mother of all Wikis . . . and -pedias”.

• Uncyclopedia - like Wikipedia, but drunk.

• Conservapedia - like Wikipedia, but stupid and paranoid.

• Dickipedia - like baseball cards, about jerks.

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Goopymart.
Rhymes with “art” and “smart.”
And “fart.”

Goopymart’s photostream contains hundreds and hundreds of his awesome poop-your-pants-laughing illustrations. All free (CC Noncommercial Share-Alike 2.0) . . .

. . . and perfect for cellphone wallpapers (and shirts and mugs).

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[Note: this is a post from Rebecca, but she's too busy shepherding right now and asked me to post it for her.]

A birthday party last weekend.
The bakery was closed, but the deli was open = meat birthday cake.
Some vegetarians were offended.
That made it funnier.

Make a wish and blow out the olives.

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The best humor is often found where you least expect it (except for Patch Adams, who wasn’t funny and can suck it).

tryork5ifp has a written the funniest eBay feedback ever.

• “HEY—the autograph Steve Irwin diving suit you sold me had BIG a hole in it!!!”

• “…the olfactorally CORRECT whoopie cushions are a RIOT!”

• “you’re right—This Beadazzler has saved me a FORTUNE in body piercing costs ALONE”

• “the hunchback shirt fit PERFECTLY—left-handed humps are SO HARD to find nowadays”

• “RANSOM RECIEVED—Timmy in locker#17, Port Authority, NYC—alive when last checked”

• “HUMAN head preserved inside a clear-lucite BOWLING ball—was this a relative?”

• “inflatable doll? Use helium? You, my friend, have revolutionized my sex-life!”

• “Q—if one were to’INSERT’ this adult Xmas tree ornament—and if it happend to break—would that person be entitled to a refund once they’re released from hospital?”

• “1ST RATE Earnest Borgnine-Ethel Merman erotic nudes!—DANG— Ethel was WAY hairier”

• “great seller—believes ANYTHING you tell him—accepts Monopoly money.”

• “roses are red-violets are blue-i steal stuff from Walmart-and sell it to you.”

(via Cindi)

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Every Christmas, children college students around the world write letters to Santa Claus Christopher Walken asking him for toys and treats swift punishment for their enemies.

Letters to Walken

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Yes, today’s the day. Take a shorter shower, ride your bike to work, and arrive late and sweaty with shampoo residue still in your hair. Or you could just watch this clip from the Daily Show– Jon Stewart is always down to put Mother Earth in her place.

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Over a decade ago I was a junior high teacher. Being the Spanish teacher, the students didn’t know me as “Mr. King,” but as “Señor Rey.”

Early in the school year I confiscated a note being passed around - it was a drawing of me with a gigantic forehead. I was losing my hair at the time and in Bruce Willis fashion my forehead was getting larger. The students laughed loudly when I saw the picture and I asked, “My forehead doesn’t really look like this, does it?!?” The students assured me of the cyclopean proportions of my forehead, and that indeed my head was shaped like a brick.

For the remainder of the school year, any time I would turn my back to the class, another Señor Rey forehead illustration would be slipped onto my desk. I made it clear that I thought it was funny, and the humor was always kept at a sane level, and at least they weren’t trashing my car.

Here is a gallery of a few of (the hundreds of) drawings I received throughout the school year:

(more…)

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“And I’ll have a vanilla . . . one of the ‘vanilla bullshit’ things. You know, whatever you want . . . some ‘vanilla bullshit latte cappa-thing’. You know, whatever you got. I don’t care.”

- Larry David ordering a coffee at Starbucks, in Curb Your Enthusiasm (Episode 8, Season 2)

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Last week’s episode of NBC’s “30 Rock” featured a fictitious reality TV show called “MILF Island” (clip below).

“Holy Hot Mamas!
But who will be the final Mommy You’d Like to . . . you know . . . ?
Twenty MILFs, fifty eighth grade boys, and no rules!
And tonight . . . one winner!
Welcome to MILF Island!”

clip:

And NBC has already come through with the goods:
MILF Island T-Shirts!

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Here’s a fun tidbit to entertain you during for the remainder of your afternoon until your weekend emancipation from whatever-it-is-you-do.

Enjoy!

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It’s here: the exciting conclusion to “Aliens (Sweded Edition)”!!

As you can see by the out-takes at the end, we had a blast filming this.

We hope you enjoy the show:

DailyMotion link
Google Video link
Yahoo! Video link

Update 4/21: We made the front page of SwededFilms.com!

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Some friends and neighbors and I filmed this this weekend.
It was a blast.
Stay tuned for part 2.

DailyMotion link
Google Video link
Yahoo! Video link

Update 4/21: We made the front page of SwededFilms.com!

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It seems everyone and their mother is on Facebook these days, but people use the site for a variety of different reasons… keeping in touch with friends, procrastinating, getting some random play, playing scrabble with loved ones, stalking secret crushes– the list goes on and on. But how do you use The ‘Book? This comedic ‘infomercial’ delves into the issue.

(Thanks to Katya for the heads up!)

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This week’s installment of the Jodi Cat-Sh!t Art Project (JCSAP): “Playing the Second Hole” (or “Stuck in a Sand Crap”).

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Check out this hilarious clip of a reporter unknowingly getting high while he does a story on the marijuana and cocaine burning behind him!

[update from Heywood]: According to you a YouTube comment, this is a clip from a British TV comedy called ‘Drop the Dead Donkey‘. Still; pretty freakin funny.

(via Ronnie; via BeVideo)

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One has to wonder how NationalBanana.com got Cuba Gooding Jr. to star in this hilarious spoof Cialis commercial. Then again, it’s not that crazy…things haven’t been going great for CGJ after Jerry Maguire’s success, as he’s taken on parts in a slew of Razzie-worthy movies such as Rat Race, Snow Dogs, Boat Trip, Radio, A Dairy Tale, Norbit, and Daddy Day Camp, and now stars as the buffoon in Hanes commercials with Michael Jordan. Nevertheless, enjoy this clip:

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2006: As some of you may remember, Chevy trucks thought they’d create a cyber-hip-20-somethings ad campaign where you could make your own Chevy Tahoe commercial . . . and it backfired in a major way.

2008: BMW has decided to walk into the punch. Get a load of BMW’s cyber-virtual-interweb-hipster ad campaign for their new BMW 1 Series: draw on their car with Facebook Graffiti, for a chance to win mediocre prizes.

And the trolls have obliged.

I planned on submitting this fine Photoshop project below, until I discovered that you have to use stupid Facebook Graffiti to do all of your artwork. Dammit!

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This past Saturday, I got a chance to go see The Striking Viking Story Pirates, an awesome improv/theater troupe here in New York City that takes stories that real children have written, and turns them into hilarious shorts, usually with a musical flair.  While I prefer the stage version, here is a hilarious short film based on a sentence written by an 8 year old:

The Story Pirates are great, but have dueling personalities.  By day (well, all the time actually), this is a non-profit charity that travels around New York, doing important educational work with the aim of improving creativity and literacy in area schools.  And by night, The Story Pirates bring a more risqué version of their show to an adult crowd at The Drama Bookshop on West 40th Street, which, if you can get out to see it, is well worth the price of admission.

Check these guys out and donate if you can; or get tickets for one of their shows…while it’s still possible!  The Story Pirates are not going to be small potatoes forever.

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