• Besserwisser - (beh•sur•vi•sur) From German, meaning “knowing better,” a person who thinks he or she has greater general knowledge than others; often correcting grammatical mistakes or errors in trivial facts.
• Indigo Children - The New Age belief that certain children (usually born after the late 1970’s) represent a more advanced state of evolution. These children are reported to have greater psychic and mental abilities and are reported to have indigo colored auras.
• Nutraceuticals - (nu•tra•su•ti•culs) Foods and beverages that claim to enhance appearance, revive mental acuity, and increase resistance to disease.
• Nomophobia - (no•mo•fo•bi•uh) The fear of being out of mobile phone contact or mobile phone signal range.
If you were one of the many who was outraged at the New Yorker for their recent cover with Barack and Michelle Obama, check out David Horsey’s spoof McCain National Review cover. The sad thing, though, is that the stuff about McCain is actually true and not just satire like with the Obamas!
This morning as I rode the bus to work, I passed by 2 separate AT&T stores where hundreds of people were lined up, presumably waiting for hours for the brand new 3G iPhone. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely want an iPhone, but what’s so special about getting it first and waiting in line for hours today, when you can just walk into a store tomorrow and get the exact same iPhone with no wait?
Maybe I’m on my own here for thinking this is ridiculous, but taking this concept to the extreme was Jonny Gladwell, a New Zealander who camped out for 3 days (keep in mind it’s winter now in NZ) to get the first 3G iPhone in the world. Check out iPhone Jonny’s blog for some notes on the wait and for some humorous video clips of how he passed the time, including the following ridiculousness:
The pattern of recent disasters in China has had many superstitious people concerned about the Olympic Mascots (the Fuwa) - claiming that each of the five reflects/predicts a particular disaster. According to Reuters, Chinese censors have made efforts to remove posts about the Fuwa superstitions, struggling to keep the air of the upcoming Olympics at a rosy-fresh note.
Recently, the fifth and final Fuwa prophecy has been supposedly fulfilled.
Huanhuan - The Olympic Flame - (“The Bearer of Incendiary Strife”) Starting in March 2008, this Olympic Torch Relay may go down in history as one of the most protested and problematic.
Jingjing - The Giant Panda - (“The Lord of Angry Earth”) The panda patron of Sichuan Province has been associated with the disastrous 7.9 May 12th earthquake that occurred there, which left 69,000 dead and over a million stranded or homeless. The epicenter of the earthquake was near the Wulong Panda Research Center.
Yíngying - The Tibetan Antelope - (“The Creature of Righteous Unrest”) On March 10, 2008 - the 49th anniversary of the Tibetan Uprising Day - demonstrations began in China. By March 14th, destructive riots ensued in several regions of China.
Nini - The Swallow/Shayan Kite - (“The Bearer of Unfortunate Wind”) April 28, China Railway Train T195 crashed near the city of Zibo in Shandong Province, killing 72 people and injuring more than 420. The nearby city of Weifang has had a long association with Shayan kites.
Bèibei - The Chinese Sturgeon - (“The Bringer of Torrent and Flood”) Over the last month, flooding in Yunnan, Guizhou, and Sichuan Provinces has displaced thousands of people and over 1,000 people are missing or dead.
A West London Burger King franchise is now offering the world’s most expensive burger - known as “The Burger” - for a whopping $200.00 (proceeds go to charity).
Check out the recipe: Wagyu beef, white truffles, Pata Negra ham, Cristal onion straws, Modena balsamic vinegar, lambs lettuce, pink Himalayan rock salt, organic white wine and shallot infused mayonnaise in an Iranian saffron and white truffle dusted bun.
The movie War, Inc. finally came to a theater in my neighborhood.
Two words: “kick” and “ass.”
I loved it.
Brand Hauser (John Cusak) is an assassin on a mission in the war-torn mythle-eastern nation of Turaqistan. Hauser is posing as the producer of an arms convention, promoting Tamerlane military industries - the very corporation currently occupying the nation of Turaqistan. At the convention, Hauser meets journalist Natalie Hegalhuzen (Marisa Tomei) and obnoxious middle eastern pop star Yonica Babyyeah (Hilary Duff) . . . and all hell breaks loose in this Douglas Coupland-esque world.
An image from Rika Eguchi’s “How to Cook Docomodake“ exhibit. Docomodake is a cartoony mushroom corporate icon for Japanese cellular phone company NTT DoCoMo - sort of like the Japanese equivalent of the Pillsbury Doughboy. And like the Pillsbury Doughboy, people want to do mean things to it.
• Ashley Hall Girls Preparatory School, 2007 - Mike Reiss (writer/producer of “The Simpsons”) - I included this because he is one of the funniest commencement speakers I have ever seen: video 1, video 2, video 3, video 4, video 5.
According to a recent study by the Dutch Center for Insurance Statistics, traffic accidents and incidents such as fire and theft actually occur slightly less on Friday the 13th (in the Netherlands).
In the 7th century BC, Sappho - poet and resident of the Greek island of Lesbos - wrote of her great love of women, and thus the term “lesbian” was born.
As well as the ancient Greek sport of hot girl-on-girl pillowfighting.
The 100,000 current residents of the island of Lesbos are now taking it back - citing that the use of “lesbian” to denote female homosexuality violates their human rights, as the “original Lesbians.”
There’s a bad “Who’s on First” comedy dialogue waiting to be written about this - it starts with “Where are you from?”
Throughout gradeschool and highschool, English teachers repeatedly stated that it was our civic duty as Americans to adore and admire the works of Mark Twain. Years later and I still hate him.
Here is a revised list of the many reasons why I think Mark Twain is a douche:
• Tom Sawyer Island and the Mark Twain Riverboat are the lamest rides at Disneyland.
• He gave his characters dippy names like Huckleberry and Pudd’nhead. No kid would have gone by the name Huckleberry - classmates would have called him Hucklefairy or Fuckleberry. And Pudd’nhead already sounds dirty.
• Mark Twain impersonators (”Twainies”) are the lowest strata of the nerd pecking order - even Star Trek geeks and Renaissance Faire nerds make fun of them and beat them up.
• He was overly fond of the word “Yankee,” and often used it as an obscene verb.
• Mark Twain and Colonel Sanders used to go to parties together dressed the same. They thought it would get them chicks.
• Both Ernest Hemingway and Jack London could have taken Twain in a fistfight.
• At a time when people were dying of cholera, the standards for humor were pretty low. Frog jumping contests and suckering someone into painting a fence = SO NOT FUNNY.
• There are dozens of public schools and parks named after Mark Twain, but there isn’t even a single parking lot named after Elmore Leonard.
At least according to Think Geek, the Japanese kanji character for “lucky” is similar in appearance to the character for “doodie/poo.”
(If anyone can verify this, please do so in the comment section below).
As many of us had wished-upon those (bastard) classmates who were “successful” in high school: a recent study showed that 29% of high school seniors who were “doing well” failed to become financially independent by age 26, and 20% failed to meet their expected life goals at age 26.
Dr. John Schulenberg, professor of developmental psychology at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor:
“We used to think that if things were going well in high school, they’d continue to go well.”
