Wanted

Like “The Matrix” but
without the Matrix. And the
good guys are all d!cks.

Jolie was like “Aaaagh!“
and her car went “Errrrrrrrtt!” and her
gun went “Psshhhiiiiw!” . . . Kick Ass!

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This is the 4th of July celebration in Santa Cruz, California.
Imagine Apocalypse Now with more explosions and more severed heads.

The song is “Star Spangled Mojo” by Mojo Nixon - perhaps the best rendition of “The Star Spangled Banner” ever.

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Appliance Golfing - Reuters Link

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The movie War, Inc. finally came to a theater in my neighborhood.

Two words: “kick” and “ass.”

I loved it.

Brand Hauser (John Cusak) is an assassin on a mission in the war-torn mythle-eastern nation of Turaqistan. Hauser is posing as the producer of an arms convention, promoting Tamerlane military industries - the very corporation currently occupying the nation of Turaqistan. At the convention, Hauser meets journalist Natalie Hegalhuzen (Marisa Tomei) and obnoxious middle eastern pop star Yonica Babyyeah (Hilary Duff) . . . and all hell breaks loose in this Douglas Coupland-esque world.

War, Inc. has several of the best qualities of Cusak’s previous assassin dark comedy Grosse Pointe Blank - clever dialogue, a great soundtrack (that does not yet exist on iTunes, dammit), and several stellar fight/action scenes worthy of Martin Blank. This film also smelled heavily of Douglas Coupland and Naomi Klein’s “Baghdad Year Zero” (both of which are good smells).

Locate a showing at a theater near you.

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Death Race - an upcoming remake of the 1975 film Death Race 2000 (starring David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone). Given that it’s already 2008, they decided to ditch the “2000” part in the new title.

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There’s something about Smart Cars that makes people want to test them, taunt them, rebuild them, or destroy them.

Smart Car vs. Ferrari • Monster Smart Car • Smart Car Doing a 360º E-Brake Turn • Smart Car with Lowrider Hydraulics • Smart Car E-Brake U-Turn • Smart Car Head-On Collision Test • Smart Car Wet Road Crash • Smart Car with 200+HP Hayabusa Engine • Smart Car Stunt Driving • Smart Car High Speed Impact Test • Smart Car 5-Point Turn in a Driveway

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If anyone knows if this is true - if you can really do this or if this is a hoax - please let us know in the comments section below.
Nevermind. It’s a hoax, but it’s still awesome.

(via Garry)

Update 6/20/08: This is actually a brilliant marketing tactic by Cardo Systems (a French cellphone company) - they created and released these urban-legendy videos on YouTube.

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World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks

[I just finished reading it (and yes, I know this book has been out a while)]:

By title alone, you are probably thinking one of two things:
a). “Cool! Zombie fiction!“
b). “Dear God . . . Zombie fiction?!?“

Here’s the catch: it’s not so much about zombies, it’s about how different societies would react to a global pandemic. However, the pandemic in this story happens to be the reanimated dead. And author Max Brooks didn’t get lazy about it either - he did his homework, he left no technical detail to chance. The only real fiction is the zombie part: no Deus ex machina, no laser guns invented to save humanity.

Topically, Brooks found a fascinating subject, flush with interesting questions:
“How would China or Canada react to a pandemic?”
“What is the best way to stop a pandemic from spreading across the globe?”
“What would happen to the average person when their town/city is overrun?”
“What would our government do?”
“How would we rebuild?”

Brooks also chose the perfect format for this type of story - the story is told through interviews (dozens and dozens of interviews) with different people around the world who were at significant events/moments during the spread of the disease and/or the subsequent war.

Bonus Round: It’s already on its way to being a feature film in 2010.

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Proof that cellphones are evil and that exorcisms can be performed by your microwave.

(via Neatorama)

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Oh man . . . my creativity gland is sore from spending the day at the 2008 Maker Faire. I don’t even have the energy to make a video of it; below are some photo highlights.

If you live in the Bay Area: GO!
It’s happening tomorrow (Sunday) also.
GO! . . . and be crafty.

Bonus Round: Hacker Mullet!

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This Saturday and Sunday (May 3nd - 4st) is Make Magazine’s third annual ‘Maker Faire’ - a festival of DIY and all things hacker.

At the San Mateo County Fairgrounds, adult day pass $25, student $15, child $10.

Here’s a video I made of last year’s Maker Faire:

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It’s here: the exciting conclusion to “Aliens (Sweded Edition)”!!

As you can see by the out-takes at the end, we had a blast filming this.

We hope you enjoy the show:

DailyMotion link
Google Video link
Yahoo! Video link

Update 4/21: We made the front page of SwededFilms.com!

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Some friends and neighbors and I filmed this this weekend.
It was a blast.
Stay tuned for part 2.

DailyMotion link
Google Video link
Yahoo! Video link

Update 4/21: We made the front page of SwededFilms.com!

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In the words of my good friend JohnC, this video “justifies the entire existence of YouTube.”

What follows is an abridged history of American-centric warfare, from World War II to present day, told through the foods of the countries in each conflict.

If you get lost regarding the conflicts or which food represents each nation, check out this page, which breaks down each of the 8 battles depicted. Or, if you’re like me and just want to know which food represents each nation, check out the official cheat sheat.

(Thanks John!)

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The world of LEGO has been missing the element of violence.
Until now.
The Brickarms LEGO weapons dealer.
They have everything, at low, low prices.

(via Notcot)

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I just made this video today. What happens to 32 “Marshmallow Peeps” in a microwave oven, what happens to an Easter egg in a microwave oven:

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You gotta respect a sport that involves high explosives:

(via Heather)

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Schadenfreude (shä-dən-froi-də) - n. Finding enjoyment or pleasure in the misfortune of others.

Behold the awesomely schadenfreud-tacular Fail Blog.

(via Susan)

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ChuckNorrisFacts.com is still funny, though it has officially reached the status of once-legendary-but-now-stale. And Chuck Norris himself has recently demonstrated that he’s kind of a douche. Though he’s always been kind of a douche.

And he’s freakishly hairy.
Like Robin-Williams-gorilla hairy.

Who is far more worthy of such recognition?
Action hero Bruce Willis.
Of course.

To clarify:
•Women smoke after sex with Bruce Willis. And they also sizzle and smoulder.

•Bruce Willis doesn’t use toilet paper. He uses Chuck Norris.

•Bruce Willis had a small hairy growth surgically removed from his back. It was Chuck Norris.

•Bruce Willis can cook Minute Rice in 10 seconds. With his mind.

•Bruce Willis doesn’t catch colds. Colds catch Bruce Willis.

•Bruce Willis bleeds to trick his enemies into thinking he’s mortal.

•Chuck Norris’s martial arts skills: black belts in Tang Soo Do.
Bruce Willis’s martial arts skills: black belts in being Bruce Willis.

•Every December, Santa Claus sits on Bruce Willis’s lap.

•Bruce Willis isn’t balding - his hair couldn’t handle the action and had to go.

•When Bruce Willis farts, it smells like Chuck Norris.

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D’oh for Smokey, running head first into a radio tower. Pretty remarkable that the people in the balloon managed to escape…

(via Eliot)

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