Chuck Norris Bruce Willis Facts
Thursday, January 17th, 2008
ChuckNorrisFacts.com is still funny, though it has officially reached the status of once-legendary-but-now-stale. And Chuck Norris himself has recently demonstrated that he’s kind of a douche. Though he’s always been kind of a douche.
And he’s freakishly hairy.
Like Robin-Williams-gorilla hairy.
Who is far more worthy of such recognition?
Action hero Bruce Willis.
Of course.
To clarify:
•Women smoke after sex with Bruce Willis. And they also sizzle and smoulder.
•Bruce Willis doesn’t use toilet paper. He uses Chuck Norris.
•Bruce Willis had a small hairy growth surgically removed from his back. It was Chuck Norris.
•Bruce Willis can cook Minute Rice in 10 seconds. With his mind.
•Bruce Willis doesn’t catch colds. Colds catch Bruce Willis.
•Bruce Willis bleeds to trick his enemies into thinking he’s mortal.
•Chuck Norris’s martial arts skills: black belts in Tang Soo Do.
Bruce Willis’s martial arts skills: black belts in being Bruce Willis.
•Every December, Santa Claus sits on Bruce Willis’s lap.
•Bruce Willis isn’t balding – his hair couldn’t handle the action and had to go.
•When Bruce Willis farts, it smells like Chuck Norris.
