In line at the grocery store, I’m staring off into space and then my eyes catch the cover of Cosmopolitan Magazine. In particular, the large purple hyphenated word “Va-jay-jay.” The full title is “Your Va-jay-jay: Fascinating New Facts About Your Lovely Lady Parts.”

Va-jay-jay!?!

Is this some tragic pseudo-urban hipster moniker for “vagina”!?!
Is this what the kids are calling it these days?!?
What about “Vagizzle,” “V-to-the-gina,” or “V. Diddy“?


And I suspect it is the answer to several other topics on the cover:

5 Things Never to Tell Your Guy
All 5 involve using the word Va-jay-jay to refer to your vagina.

Sex He Has Alone
You know why? Because you call it a Va-jay-jay and that’s weird and so he’s in the bathroom thinking about your sister instead of your Va-jay-jay!

Why Guys Cheat
Because they want to sleep with a woman who doesn’t call it a Va-jay-jay!


[Va-jay-jay update]: According to reader Isabel, this sounds-better-than-’cooter’ term for vagina has been around for some time (and I just don’t watch enough television), having appeared on ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ and even ‘Oprah’ (the perfect venue for promoting lame terms like this). Frankly, the word ‘Oprah‘ sounds like a better term for vagina than ‘Va-jay-jay.’
“This tight underwear makes my Oprah itch!”

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Spring Design’s ‘F**K Tab Necklace’.
Gold.
$250.

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Some might consider this bad taste, but if you’re able to find any semblance of humor in the absolutely ridiculous video of University of Florida student Andrew Meyer being tazered after asking some pointed questions at a John Kerry speech back in September of this year, or if you own one of the millions of “Don’t Taze Me, Bro” t-shirts for sale on the Web, the “Don’t Taze Me Bro - Rap Remix” will come as enjoyable entertainment for you. Don’t get me wrong, this all was terrible and in my opinion completely unjustifiable, but at least this well-done rap song gets my head knocking…

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For all your fashion needs:
AStyle

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I love this bacon scarf. It’s subtle and the packaging really makes it a great gift. For your fancy, foodie friends you could say it was a prosciutto scarf.

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The magical “Beauty Kit” - for young girls who can’t wait to explore the glamorous world of plastic surgery.

[MBSFW - Might Be Safe For Work?]

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Such angst. Such pain. Now you, too, can sample life as an emo kid with this new magnet kit!

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“Hair is the first thing. And teeth the second. Hair and teeth. A man got those two things - he’s got it all.”

- James Brown

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Behold the rotund fury of the Kool Aid Man t-shirt - it works best if you’re kinda fat. Hooded Sweatshirt also available.

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A nice write-on wash-off T-shirt from Think Geek.*

*If you don’t get it, see this. If you don’t like it, see this.

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Is it hot in here, or is it just me?
Thermometer earrings - $52.00 at Shana Logic.

. . . and keep constantly informed of your wrist circumference with their ruler cuff/bracelet, $44.00.

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Over six months ago, Blogadilla’s very own Chris and I decided to send each other “Munnys” - they are vinyl “paint it yourself” figures that hipsters casually display around their stylish apartments (available through KidRobot). Chris (being a professional graphic artist) and I (having experience drawing on my binder in school) decided we’d each design and paint one and send it to the other - as an “art exchange project.” As most projects go, it took me six months to get around to doing something. I just finished it and it’s in the mail en route to Chris right now. I decided to go with a “Cursed Golden Idol” design - an evil golden monkey demon with an extra eye for peering in to the darkest reaches of one’s soul. When Chris sends me the one he’s working on, he’ll post it on Blogadilla also.

(The coolest Munny/Dunny ever made has to be the one by Venture Bros co-creator Jackson Publick)

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God help us. A recent shopping expedition with a friend for wedding attire made me want to punch a baby. Now, my friend works out 4-5 times a week, has an amazing shape, and knows what silhouettes flatter her best (in other words; a slinky, bias cut, bombshell dress). We looked everywhere (East Bay, SF, online…). Nothing. The only look available is empire waist dresses, empire waist everything.

Do you know this look?! If you’ve ever been in a maternity store you do. I guess by putting a seam under your boobs it’s supposed to make them look bigger and create some sort optical illusion to hide everything else. But really, there’s no better way to look pregnant. Why wasn’t this f’ing look in style when I was pregnant?! You could be beautiful Jessica Alba, size 1, and still look dumpy in this hideous concoction. And when coupled with those hideous gigantic graphic prints of the seventies, and some ballet flats, WOW, you can really look retarded. Haven’t you always wanted to look like a pregnant ballerina?

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Title quote from the amazing and super funny but now dead Mitch Hedberg.

The must have item for those swanky travelers or death breath friends. Available at the ever so geeky thinkgeek.com

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The phattest phreshest dookiest belt ever.

Leather Graffiti Belt by Urban Outfitters.
Ghettoblaster Buckle by L.A. designer Han Cholo (gold plated version for $1,250).

Werd.

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