Two Haiku Movie Review: Kung-Fu Panda
Wednesday, June 18th, 2008
Surprisingly good,
Fantastic animation,
Jack Black gets an A
A cast of all-stars
Kung-Fu Panda: Big surprise
Go out and see this.
Surprisingly good,
Fantastic animation,
Jack Black gets an A
A cast of all-stars
Kung-Fu Panda: Big surprise
Go out and see this.
Mark Wahlberg stars while
Shyamalan gets preachy
with gross suicides.
Is it phones?!? Is it
trees!?! Is it crowds?!? Is it bees!?!
What (the hell) is this disease?!?
The Incredible Hulk: Part Deux

Double dose of Hulk,
But don’t wait around, there is
Not a tag ending
Bruce Banner is back
Better than the last Hulk film
Norton’s Grade: B Plus
Thought I would hate it.
It was surprisingly good:
four stars out of five.
Downey and Paltrow
truly made the movie great.
Will watch it again.
Bonus Round: Iron Man T-Shirt
I like Tina Fey.
And Amy Poehler kicks ass.
But the film was dull.
It really dragged on.
45 minutes too long.
It felt like nine months.
Japanese ghost chick.
Like ‘The Grudge’ with photographs.
New meaning: “dark room.”
A good ghost story.
The Thai version was better.
Now neck cramps scare me.
Why gringoes should not
wander into the jungle:
Red Mayan Death-Vine.
Super sicko deaths.
The four grossest ways to die.
Do not bring your kids.
Original plot:
Developers are trying
to take our building.
The best parts of the
movie can be found on their
site: “Sweded movies.”
Melonie Diaz,
hottest lips in Hollywood.
I want to “Swede” her.
Save your $10.
Coming to a plane flight near
you: “Be Kind Rewind.”
Haunted orphanage!!
Creepy ghost with a doll mask.
Ghost kids are the worst.
I squealed like a girl.
What’s the Spanish word for “AAAAAAGHHH”?
Almost puked tapas.

Handheld cameras
Half Blair witch, Half Godzilla
All entertaining.
Don’t make my mistake
And sit too close to the screen;
Headaches will ensue.
Note: for a crazy picture of the Cloverfield monster, click here.
I Am Legend (a.k.a.- “The Omega Man in Black”)
A virus outbreak.
Bad animation zombies.
The Fresh Prince survives.
The Omega Man
meets 28 Days Later.
Typical New York.

McCandless was right,
with great quotes and bad music,
about feeling strong.
Every one should,
go into the wild sometime,
but do leave a trail.
Anderson’s 5th film.
Fear and Loathing in Bengal -
high on cough syrup.
The soundtrack is great.
An entertaining movie,
would watch it again.
The cast of Thriller
versus Milla Jovovich.
And Milla kicks ass.
Undead zombie crows.
And tons of exploding heads.
Great family film.
A baby, carrots,
and a sh!tload of bullets.
It’s Kung Fu with guns.
Worth watching, but gross.
Somehow during the gunfight
a story broke out.
The Kingdom - In Theaters September 28, 2007

Lots of blood and gore;
Not an optimistic film.
Fox News’ favorite.
Jennifer Garner
is very, very badass.
Don’t give her a knife!
Def Leppard soundtrack.
Christopher Walken was great.
Everyone else . . . sucked.
If you have seen the
trailer for this film then you’ve
seen all the best parts.
Jet Li cannot act.
I want back those one hundred
minutes of my life.
This is what happens
when you let your personal
trainer write a film.
Nicole Kidman was
perfect for this role because
she married Tom Cruise.
A great metaphor:
Church of Scientology.
“Would you like some tea?”