Surprisingly good,
Fantastic animation,
Jack Black gets an A

A cast of all-stars
Kung-Fu Panda: Big surprise
Go out and see this.

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The Happening

Mark Wahlberg stars while
Shyamalan gets preachy
with gross suicides.

Is it phones?!? Is it
trees!?! Is it crowds?!? Is it bees!?!
What (the hell) is this disease?!?

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The Incredible Hulk: Part Deux

Double dose of Hulk,
But don’t wait around, there is
Not a tag ending

Bruce Banner is back
Better than the last Hulk film
Norton’s Grade: B Plus

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Iron Man

Thought I would hate it.
It was surprisingly good:
four stars out of five.

Downey and Paltrow
truly made the movie great.
Will watch it again.

Bonus Round: Iron Man T-Shirt

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Baby Mama

I like Tina Fey.
And Amy Poehler kicks ass.
But the film was dull.

It really dragged on.
45 minutes too long.
It felt like nine months.

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Shutter (2008)

Japanese ghost chick.
Like ‘The Grudge’ with photographs.
New meaning: “dark room.”

A good ghost story.
The Thai version was better.
Now neck cramps scare me.

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The Ruins

Why gringoes should not
wander into the jungle:
Red Mayan Death-Vine.

Super sicko deaths.
The four grossest ways to die.
Do not bring your kids.

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Sexy 70’s Brits
nick bank deposit boxes
a true heist story

Statham is charming
only good movie playing
“The B.J.” ends well

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Be Kind Rewind

Original plot:
Developers are trying
to take our building.

The best parts of the
movie can be found on their
site: “Sweded movies.”

Melonie Diaz,
hottest lips in Hollywood.
I want to “Swede” her.

Save your $10.
Coming to a plane flight near
you: “Be Kind Rewind.”

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“The Orphanage” (El Orfanato)

Haunted orphanage!!
Creepy ghost with a doll mask.
Ghost kids are the worst.

I squealed like a girl.
What’s the Spanish word for “AAAAAAGHHH”?
Almost puked tapas.

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Handheld cameras
Half Blair witch, Half Godzilla
All entertaining.

Don’t make my mistake
And sit too close to the screen;
Headaches will ensue.

Note: for a crazy picture of the Cloverfield monster, click here.

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I Am Legend (a.k.a.- “The Omega Man in Black”)

A virus outbreak.
Bad animation zombies.
The Fresh Prince survives.

The Omega Man
meets 28 Days Later.
Typical New York.

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McCandless was right,
with great quotes and bad music,
about feeling strong.

Every one should,
go into the wild sometime,
but do leave a trail.

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The Darjeeling Limited

Anderson’s 5th film.
Fear and Loathing in Bengal -
high on cough syrup.

The soundtrack is great.
An entertaining movie,
would watch it again.

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Resident Evil: Extinction

The cast of Thriller
versus Milla Jovovich.
And Milla kicks ass.

Undead zombie crows.
And tons of exploding heads.
Great family film.

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Shoot ‘Em Up

A baby, carrots,
and a sh!tload of bullets.
It’s Kung Fu with guns.

Worth watching, but gross.
Somehow during the gunfight
a story broke out.

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The Kingdom - In Theaters September 28, 2007

Lots of blood and gore;
Not an optimistic film.
Fox News’ favorite.

Jennifer Garner
is very, very badass.
Don’t give her a knife!

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Balls of Fury

Def Leppard soundtrack.
Christopher Walken was great.
Everyone else . . . sucked.

If you have seen the
trailer for this film then you’ve
seen all the best parts.

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War

Jet Li cannot act.
I want back those one hundred
minutes of my life.

This is what happens
when you let your personal
trainer write a film.

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The Invasion

Nicole Kidman was
perfect for this role because
she married Tom Cruise.

A great metaphor:
Church of Scientology.
“Would you like some tea?”

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