(via Kim, via The Thomas Collective)

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Pre-order now for April 2010 delivery . . . Just $69.99!

(via Allison)

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Especially if that voice is loud and stupid.

TOWN HALL MEETING TIPS
1). SHOUT – Remember, this is about “being heard.” And the best way to be heard is by shouting. Even if you don’t remember what you’re shouting about. Your goal is to be heard, not understood.

2). WEAR FLAGS – American flag apparel reminds everyone that you are speaking on behalf of all Americans . . . except for the Godless heathens that don’t go to your church, those foreigners, and the homos. Wearing a flag also means that if people disagree with you: they hate America.

3). REMEMBER YOUR BATTLE – It is important to remember that this is a battle between good and evil; this is not about being constructive. If you lose this battle, communist conspirators may force your grandchildren to have abortions while teaching them about dinosaurs. And never forget that socialized medicine could lead to other socialist institutions like public schools or a national postal system. If we aren’t careful, we could easily end-up like those bastards Canada, England, or Sweden.

4). BRING SIGNS – Signs are simply shouting for the deaf. And it’s more patriotic if they aren’t spelled correctly. The Freedom of Speech is also the freedom to put apostrophes wherever you feel like and to spell things as you please. Don’t let the intellectual Liberal elite shut you down with their fancy “grammar” or “spelling.”

5). NEVER FACT CHECK – “Facts” and “proof” should never get in the way of you being heard, nor should they stop you from living in fear. Remember: if everyone believes it, it must be true. If everyone in your group fears that our government will create “death committees” to execute the elderly, then it must be true. Also, feel free to cite anything you heard on the Interweb, FOX News, or at gun shows. “Proven facts” are for smartasses, anyway.

6). BLAME – When all else fails, blame the Liberal media, welfare moms, homosexuals, foreigners, terrorists, and 9-11. Blame the foreigners especially.

7). TEA-BAG – Use the term “tea bagging” as much as possible – it’s time we took this term back from the homos.

Barney Frank Smackdown Bonus Round:

I love you Barney.
(via Rebecca)

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Охуеть!
(awesome!)

Google translation offered испытывающий страх! as “awesome,” though it actually means “someone experiencing fear.”
That is awesome.

(Thanks Gordin and Kerran!)

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“How easy is it to steal a bike in New York in plain sight?”

Holy shit:

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Never again will I eat flan.

The book to buy everyone this upcoming holiday season:

“Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes.“

With such fine recipes as: Guanabee Horchata, the Almost White Russian, Tuna Sashimi with Dipping Sauce, Lime Aioli, and Creamy C*m Crepes.

Some questions:
• In restaurants, don’t these foods usually contain semen anyway?
• When will this be the magic ingredient on Iron Chef?
• How many Weight Watchers points for semen?
• It semen Kosher? Is there a shechita/halal way of procuring it?

(via Susan, via John, via Lulu)

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(via Laura, via HolyTaco)

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The nationwide gourmet cupcake trend is already stale. . . and overpriced.

What will soon become the popular new culinary art:
Hacking the Easy-Bake Oven – the challenging art of producing fine cuisine from an Easy-Bake oven.

• “The Easy-Bake Oven Gourmet” by David Hoffman.

• Linkety-link-link.

(via Susan)

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Blogadilla reader Laura is actually in this predicament at present, and has attempted a contraption like this.  Update coming as news develops.

UPDATE 9/30/08: Trap not successful. Exterminator called.  Oh well, it was a fun idea.

(concept via Dezeen)

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This should be viewed as more of a jackass experiment than a “how to” by a soapmaking expert. I just wanted to see if it was possible to make soap from bacon fat.

The bonus challenge: make the soap look like bacon.


********************************
UPDATE:
We made it into vol. 18 of Make: Magazine!! Sweet!!

********************************

How I Made Bacon Fat Soap:
Supplies
• Bacon fat
• 100% Lye (sodium hydroxide)
• Purified water and ice
• Liquid Smoke (optional fragrance)
• Red food coloring (optional coloring)
• Stove
• Pyrex baking pan
• Chemical/solvent/heat resistant plastic bowl
• Measuring cup
• Cotton cloth or paper towels
• Wooden (or stainless steel) spoon
• Rubber gloves and goggles
• Metal can
• 1 cigarette

(the rest after the jump)

How to Prepare Bacon Soap:
This recipe is a basic soap recipe.
• 7.5 parts bacon fat
• 1 part lye
• 2 parts water

A). Melt the bacon fat on the stove. Do not get it too hot (not boiling/sizzling – very dangerous).

B). Skim off any particles or debris that float to the surface of the melted bacon fat.

C). Pour the melted bacon fat through cloth or paper towels into a large clean metal can (see photo), this will further filter the bacon fat.

D). Still warm, your bacon fat should now look uniform, clear, and junk free. Measure your bacon fat and calculate the proper amount of lye (1 part lye to 7.5 parts bacon fat).

E). Measure 2 parts purified water (feel free to even include some ice, because the lye will get very hot). In a heat resistant (not metal) container, pour in your 2 parts water, then slowly pour the crystalline lye into the water. (WARNING: You will want to do this in a well ventilated area – the fumes are evil and can cause serious injury. Make sure to wear rubber gloves and eye protection when handling lye. Also, the lye and water mixture will get very very hot, make sure to do this in the proper workspace and in a heat-resistant container).

F). Take a break, wait for the lye-water mixture to cool down, smoke a cigarette. Do not leave the lye mixture unattended. When the lye-water mixture is around 100ºF (the temperature of a hot shower), check your bacon fat and see if it is around the same temperature (if not, heat it on the stove until it is). Then slowly pour the lye-water into the bacon fat.

G). Stir the mixture for up to 2 hours as it cools. When the mixture begins to show “trace” (white soap stripes on the top surface), move on to the next step. Mixing can take several hours and if it is still liquid after two hours, move on to the next step and hope for the best.

H). While the proto-soap mixture is still a thick liquid, but showing signs of “trace,” you can mix in “Liquid Smoke” as a fragrance – add quantity to taste. It enhances the bacon smell. Also, you can separate a small portion of the proto-soap from the mix (in a separate container) and add red dye. Pour the beige thick proto-soap into a pyrex pan, then take the red-dyed proto-soap and pour stripes into it (makes it look like bacon).

I). Let the soap “cure” and “set” for at least 36 hours, then cut blocks of the soap from the greater slab (do this while the soap it still relatively soft).

J). Allow the blocks of soap to continue to cure for at least 2 weeks.

K). Cut into desired shapes and serve.

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