Today I was watching “The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.” At the monsoon-destroyed ruins of Hotel Citroën on the island of Little Ping, Steve Zissou (Bill Murray) notes:

“What a shame. They had a bartender here, Kino, made the best Rum Cannonball I’ve ever tasted.”

The question comes to mind: Is this a real drink, or something invented by Wes Anderson? From internet discussions and references, it’s hard to tell if this drink actually existed before the movie. Based on an average of posted recipes, I made a Rum Cannonball (actual photo).

The Rum Cannonball
•1 part white rum
•1 part gin
•1 part orange juice
•1 part pineapple juice
•1 part lemon-lime soda
•1 part strawberry soda
Serve over ice with a key lime, pineapple, or tropical orchid garnish.

What does it taste like?: Not bad . . . fruity fizzy booze.

An alternate recipe also exists:
•2 oz rum
•Top-off with orange juice
•4-5 dashes of Angostura bitters

What does it taste like?: Not bad . . . rummy spicey o.j.

Bonus Round: Drink one while wearing a Hotel Citroën t-shirt.

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‘How to Good-Bye Depression If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? of Effective Way?’

Hiroyuki Nishigaki has once again surpassed rational thought and cut straight to the point: clenching your anus 100 times a day is both an obvious and malarkey-free cure for depression. And Nishigaki’s rectal breakthroughs can’t be compromised by such petty things as coherent English or scientific evidence:

“In addition your sex energy will begin to become strong again by constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times everyday following the life style of long lived British. But, you had better reduce the frequency of ** and of ## to less then half If possible. If you are less than 40 or 50 years old, you may become impatient and want to rape secretively. You will not be able to sleep thirsting for a young beautiful woman or man almost all night at the beginning.“

[But most of the long lived British I've met ** and ## like five times a day and still want to rape secretively.]

(more…)

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I got this in a used bookstore. 1972. Naked Yoga. Awesome.
[click on the tiny photo for multiple images; NSFW, though nothing vulgar]:

Step 1 - Get a Persian rug.
Step 2 - Grow long, frizzy hair.
Step 3 - Strip.
Step 4 - Get comfortable with seeing your own buttocks hovering over your head.

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After seeing how far the Jenkem urban legend has gone, “Brown Bagging” is screaming to be launched into the communtications network of idiots to see where it will go (others must be warned of this grave danger - this is a gateway drug to things like “Two Girls, One Cup”):

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Dear Friends,
Please stop sending me this amazing video. It is a hoax - it does not work. How they did it below . . .

Mountain Dew Glows!!!! Mountain Dew Light Hack!!! - The most amazing videos are a click away

I’m pretty sure they switch Mountain Dew with luciferin (the stuff in the small glass vial in glowsticks). The peroxide oxidizes the luciferin (making it glow) and the baking soda catalyzes the reaction (making it happen at a slower rate). If you doubt this de-bunking, consider this:

•Why do they suggest only a small amount of Mountain Dew (instead of the whole bottle)?
*Because it’s the right color and volume for the small amount of luciferin that comes in a glowstick

•Notice when they zoom in to the teaspoon with baking soda, notice the bottle of Mountain Dew before and after the zoom:
*The label has been turned around, perhaps this is when they made the switch.

I tried this at home - what the hell am I going to do with the rest of the F@#$ing 6-pack of Mountain Dew?

Stop posting this on your websites as a great Halloween tip.

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Lots of fun generators on the web. But this one may actually be useful?

Well probably not, but heck FU in barcode just looks cool!

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Picnic prep? I can only hope he has a napkin on the rear rack! Fruit/Pringles/Water

Perhaps not in that order?

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“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” just may be one of the funniest damn television shows ever written. A detail in one of the episodes (season 2 - “The Gang Goes Jihad”) has caught the attention of several serious fans: a mysterious sandwich called a “Grilled Charlie.” Below are the results of my own reverse engineering analysis of a Grilled Charlie.

Its appearance and description in the show offer several good clues to its construction:
•Firstly, the instructions shouted by its creator, Charlie:

“A Grilled Charlie has peanutbutter last! Peanutbutter outside, chocolate inside! Butter inside, cheese outside!”

•Close inspection of the scene reveals a jar of JIF peanutbutter, a packet of American cheese slices (or cheddar), and a bottle of Hershey’s syrup next to the hotplate used to fry the “Grilled Charlie” (though other posted recipes erroneously indicate a chocolate bar).

Here’s a possible/probable way to create this:
Step 1 - Butter the bejeezus out of one side of a piece of white bread. Place the piece of bread, butter-side down, onto a hot skillet (if you’re hardcore, your skillet is on a hotplate and you’re in a filthy apartment).

Step 2 - As the butter side is frying, place a slice of cheese (American or possibly cheddar) on the top of the bread and let it melt. Then flip the bread over and fry the cheese side (you’ll need a sh*tload of butter to pull this off properly). You’ll have to keep moving it so the cheese doesn’t burn off the bread.

Step 3 - Remove the butter-cheese slice and put a new white bread slice onto the skillet (make sure there is still sufficient butter in the skillet to fry it). Fry the piece of bread, and while it is frying put Hershey’s chocolate syrup on the top side. Flip the bread over and quickly fry the chocolate side (it will actually fry if you do it right). Remove from skillet.

Step 4 - Join the two pieces of fried bread, cheese on outside, butter and chocolate on the inside. Add JIF peanutbutter to the outside of the sandwich (not clear if it goes on top of the cheese or on the opposide side of the sandwich).

Step 5 - Eat warm, with cold beer. Then prepare for the heart attack.

It is surprisingly good - a nice combination of burnt cheese, chocolate and peanutbutter.

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“Is Helen Reddy?” is the traditional name of the game. Given that many people don’t know who Helen Reddy is anymore, a more up-to-date name such as “Does Tom Cruise?” can be used.

The rules are simple:
• Two or more players.
• Construct a question that is a wordplay on a celebrity name (usually a last name that sounds like an adjective, bonus points if you can use both first and last name).
• You have 1 minute to come up with your question (if not, you lose), then your opponent takes a turn at coming up with a question.
• The question/pun has to be legitimate sounding.

Good Examples: Does Tom Cruise? Is Martin Short? Is Alan Cumming? Is Amy Smart? Is Barry White? Is Seth Green? Does Gabriel Byrne? Does Billy Bragg? Do I smell Kevin Bacon? Did you know LeAnn Rimes? Is Liz Phair? Is Rob Lowe? Is his Willie Brown? (Willie Brown is 2x points - use of first and last name).

Mediocre Examples: Does Minnie Driver? Does Dick Butkus? Is Bryan Ferry?

Bad Examples (no points): Does John Malkovich? Is Ray Liotta? Does Lenny Kravitz?

It is harder than it sounds, but it is a great way to waste time with friends. It can even be played over instant messenger.

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Corporate jargon; although being an absolutely meaningless vernacular, can make you feel productive and even somewhat important. If you haven’t already, try throwing out a few of the following key phrases during your next corporate meeting. You might be surprised at how savvy your colleagues think you are.

• Give me the download on the new brand strategy when you have a minute.
• We should net-down on a proof-of-concept before moving forward with production.
• Let’s take this discussion offline and talk about resource-allocation.
• Do you have the bandwidth to review this copy deck by end-of-day tomorrow?
• I think grouping the content into three buckets would make the most sense.
• You’ll get your list of deliverables during the kick-off on monday morning.
• Grab James and we’ll have a pow-wow about these new wireframe schematics.
• Go ahead and table that idea for now and we’ll revisit it later.
• Did you get that sandbox set up for back-end development of the new microsite?
• I’ll be out-of-pocket all next week, so we’ll have to reschedule our white-boarding session.
• If we drill down a little deeper, we might be able to uncover the core values.
• We’re getting some push-back from the client on this marketing budget.
• Let’s get together for some blue-sky thinking around this viral campaign.

If you find that you are experiencing difficulty committing these and other corporate terms and phrases to memory, don’t fret. They are available in a handy flashcard format for quick and easy reference.

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Along the lines of sticking “i” in front of everything and calling it a product, Sea to Summit have a clear winner! No $hit! It is a camping trowel for the fancy die hard color oriented camper. Hollow handle for other such vital camping items like your drugs or mini-vodka bottle.

• Lightweight & compact; weighs only 3.5 ounces (99 grams)
• Handle collapses to fit inside the shovel blade; to open push handle to full size and lock into place with a spring-loaded button lock
• Approximate length at full size 9.75 inches; collapsed length 5.5 inches
• A handy hollow handle for storing useful items like toilet tissue, hand sanitizer or lighter
• Handle has a comfortable, full-size grip for easier and more efficient digging
• Made of a super-strong, ultra light 6066 - T6 aluminum alloy
• Hard anodized blade to Rockwell C 70
• Available in four fun colors
• Comes with its own stuff sack
• Designed to support Leave No Trace practices

Leave no trace camping is a good thing, but the second you say ” Hey guys, iPood!” you body will be found all beaten and bloody at the side of the trail.

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Last year a friend of mine went to jail for 3 weeks (though he forgot about a traffic ticket, the County of San Mateo did not). What do you give someone who is going to jail? Hallmark doesn’t make cards for this sort of thing.

I baked him a cake with a hacksaw in it (baking a cake like this isn’t girly - it’s manly because you’re baking with tools).

You will need:
•Cheap cakemix (preferably one that doesn’t require a lot of ingredients)
•A hacksaw (any cake-sized kind will do)
•Frosting (pre-made canned ones are easiest)
•An oven
•A deep (non-stick) baking pan
•A friend going to jail
•A pathetic amount of free time on your hands

How to do it:
1 - Mix-up the cake mix, pour it into 1 or 2 deep baking pans (you want to make 2 rectangular cakes approx 2-3″ thick and big enough to cover-up a hacksaw), bake the cakes according to instructions.
2 - Drink a beer. Eat leftover cakebatter while the cake is baking.
3 - When the sheets of cake are cool, remove from pans, place one of the cake slabs on a platter or piece of cardboard (this one will be the bottom layer).
4 - Place hacksaw on top of the cake slab (the one on the platter), frost the top of this cake slab (frost with the hacksaw on it).
5 - Place the other “top” cake slab on top of the frosted hacksaw-cake mess, the frosting on the bottom cake slab will make the two slabs stick together with the hacksaw in the middle.
6 - Frost the outside of the cake-hacksaw-cake sandwich. Decorate as you see fit. Menthol cigarettes or sharpened toothbrushes are a nice touch.

Hacksaw cake detail.

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Microsoft released “Surface” on May 30th at D7: All Things Digital conference (previously posted on Blogadilla here). It’s been just over a month, and already people have managed to homebrew up their own version. While not using the exact same technology, the results are equally impressive and materials cost approximately $60 (not counting the projector).

All of this, of course, is nothing in comparison to the stuff Jeff Han (the man who started it all) is working on.

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A while back a friend introduced me to the world of book swapping/recycling via “PaperBackSwap.com”. This maybe old news to some, but it was such a great idea I thought I’d share it with you blogsters.

You take all your paper back books that your willing to trade and list them on the site. It’s real easy, you use the bar code numbers and it just knows what you talking about, and even how much postage to use. When someone requests a book from your list, you print out the wrapper at home (the site does it all for you!), attach stamps, and let the mail carrier pick it up. Then you earn credits for each book rec’d and you get to pick from what’s available or make a “wish list”.

I love it. I got rid of a ton of crappy self help books (they were my mom’s I swear!) and now I have a whole shelf of awesome literature I’ll never have time to read! PBS will even show you a map of where all your books have traveled - making you feel all the more hippie and world beat. There’s also “SwapaCD.com” – now I have a way to get rid of that Living Colour CD…

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Enter the wonderful world of Google mashups, this is an oldie but a goodie. http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/

Enter points on the map where you want to go, zoom in and be as detailed as you want.  It calculates the distance and allows you to save and send the link.

Distance form door step to mail box? Done that 0.0151 miles to be exact (I will be driving next time)

From one side of golden Gate to the other? The uses are endless! Runners, walkers, bored geeks who don’t want to go outside!

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So most of you might shy away from bringing such items on a camping trip, but this little johnny could save your life in a pinch. I know I will be packing a few on my next camping trip! What am I going on about? Well if you knew how to start a fire with water and a condom you were already one step ahead of me!

Click the link for the VIDEO!!!

(Via http://www.gadling.com/ )

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The Pollock, Pollack, Polish, or Retard Slapfight* consists of two or more opponents facing-off in a jousting match/slapfight with their arms held in a specific position: the left arm is bent so the left hand protects/covers the face, while the right arm is outstretched over the left arm and held outright as a slapping weapon. There are no specific rules regarding this fighting form beyond the understanding that both opponents must keep their arms in this position during melee and that combat must be accompanied by loud screaming. There is little or no information on the internet regarding this rare childhood martial art form; Blogadilla may be the first ever.

*A Note to the Politically Correct Reader: If you happen to be Polish or mentally retarded (or Polish and retarded), please do not take offense to this nomenclature. I didn’t name this, nor do I hold some official position as Namer of Late-70’s Early-80’s Childhood Games. It is clear that these terms come from a cruel era when kids freely taunted retards and the Polish. I can personally attest to the erroneous nature of these terms: I dated a Polish woman. She was brilliant and charming and insisted that this fighting form is NOT in the Polish martial arts repertoire (and she was also perfectly capable of screwing-in a lightbulb by her own means). Likewise, my previous experiences working with mentally challenged children revealed little natural ability or interest in this form of combat, despite my numerous efforts to teach them. They much preferred jumping onto my back without warning and spitting chewed-up cookie down the back of my shirt.

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At last, a useful how-to video.

From the folks at Good Morning Silicon Valley (via Videojug), who apparently know their audience.

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