FirstShowing.net has a flash video of the alternate (and original) ending to “I Am Legend” (2007) (can also been seen on some versions of the DVD).

(via Garry)

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A long, long time ago (1998 to be exact) and in anticipation of the release of the first of three Star Wars prequels, toy maker Jason Deyer and his buddy Steve Ross were approached to design ‘Dealer Loaders’ for promotions and giveaways. But because they were ‘unapproved vendors’ (AKA not part of George Lucas’ monolith) Jason and his friend had to base their designs on the original trilogy.

You can check out the original drawings on Jason’s blog, Action Figure Insider, and you also can hear an interview about his trials and tribulations on NPR. Make sure to check out NPR’s Bryant Park Project page on the Star Wars merchandise, here. (Click ‘Listen Now’ for the interview).

Death Star BBQ Grill Anyone?

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Sexy 70’s Brits
nick bank deposit boxes
a true heist story

Statham is charming
only good movie playing
“The B.J.” ends well

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[A nice follow-up to last week's Honda del Sol X-Wing.]

Another awesome car mod:
the Subaru Outback Ghostbusters ‘Ecto 1′.

(via Notcot.org)

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Blogadilla co-author Allison and I just got back from watching 10,000 BC. The following is an inventory of our comments driving home from the movie:

•”It’s sad when the best actor in a movie is a computer animated Wooly Mammoth.”

•”If they show this on an airplane, I’m jumping.”

•”This is what happens when you take drugs in a natural history museum.”

•”I’ve picked scabs that were more satisfying.”

•”It was a great comedy.”

•”Roland Emmerich peaked at Godzilla.”

•”10,000 BC - yeah, 10,000 Bad Choices.”

•”Why is it that everyone in 10,000 BC looked like Adam Duritz from Counting Crows?”

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The Honda del Sol meets the Star Wars X-Wing Fighter, at Velvetron.com.

(via Notcot.org)

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Of the weddings I’ve attended, the theme was always “Wedding.”

But more and more, weddings are having themes. All too much like children’s birthday parties. The idea of a “Star Wars” wedding is nothing new, though it’s astounding to realize the sheer number of “Star Wars” weddings out there. I hope George Lucas feels like a dick about this.

Apparently, the bride and groom make movie props and costumes (so no Star-Warsy detail was left untouched): photo gallery and slideshow.





The bride and groom were married by Darth Vader, the groomsmen were Stormtroopers: video





The bride dressed as a bride, the groom came as Boba Fett: video





The groom came as Darth Vader, the bride came as Natalie Portman: video





Bonus Humiliation Round: The bride has a Hello Kitty shaped box on her nightstand. In it are her husband’s testicles. Life is hard enough when your English name is “Horlick”: video

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Last week, Blogadilla co-author Allison and I did our share of bitching about the lack of an ending to the Coen Brothers’ hit movie “No Country for Old Men”.

To clarify: It is possible to have an ending without having “follow-through.” And this lack of “follow-through” is cinematic coitus interruptus. It is cruel and lame.

To illustrate our point: Here is a knock-knock joke I hope to someday tell writers/directors Joel and Ethan Coen:

Me: “Knock-knock!”

Joel and Ethan Coen: “Who’s there?”

Me: “Orange.”

Joel and Ethan Coen: “Orange who?”

Me: “. . .”

Joel and Ethan Coen: “Orange who!?!”

Me: “. . .”

Joel and Ethan Coen: “ORANGE WHO!?!”

Me: “Tommy Lee Jones had a dream about his dad. F#ck you!”

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Be Kind Rewind

Original plot:
Developers are trying
to take our building.

The best parts of the
movie can be found on their
site: “Sweded movies.”

Melonie Diaz,
hottest lips in Hollywood.
I want to “Swede” her.

Save your $10.
Coming to a plane flight near
you: “Be Kind Rewind.”

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[co-authored by Timbotron and Allison]

Last weekend, Blogadilla co-author Allison and I went to see the Coen Brothers’ film “No Country for Old Men”.

There are two major points we’d like to express:
1). Good movie.
2). The ending was the biggest load of sh!t ever!!!

We don’t want to give away the ending but . . .
THERE WAS NO F&#ING ENDING!!.

[Allison]:
“Can’t stop what’s comin.”
THEN LET IT COME ALREADY, B!TCH.
I PAID $10.50 TO SEE THIS MOVIE AND I WANT AN ENDING!
Don’t get me wrong, I loved it. Up until the end.

Here are our proposals for an ending for “No Country for Old Men”:
•The “Wonka” ending: Sherriff Bell hunts down Chigurh and tells him that he’s retiring and wants to give Chigurh the entire Chocolate Factory.

•Coen Bros. meets Tarantino ending: Chigurh limps away after the car crash and mistakenly walks into Zed’s pawn shop where Zed calls Tommy Lee Jones and says “looks like the spider caught a fly…”

•The Sarah Connor ending: In the final battle, Sherriff Bell discovers that Chigurh is a robot from the future sent to the past to stop the ending of the movie from ever really happening.

•The Skywalker ending: Sherriff Bell corners Chigurh and tells him the truth, “I don’t want to kill you. I just wanted to meet you . . . Son.” And a sobbing Chigurh and Bell embrace one another . . .

•The Tyler Durden: Sheriff Bell pursues Chigurh but can’t seem to find him, and over the phone Bell’s girlfriend Marla calls him “Chigurh,” and that’s when he realizes that he is . . .

Pet hypotheses for why the ending sucked:
•Ran out of film (Ethan Coen squandered a whole roll on interesting looking clouds).

•Soon after conjoined twins Joel and Ethan Coen were surgically separated (near the end of the filming of this movie), they decided that they couldn’t work together anymore.

•Cameraman died.

•The editor accidentally lost the last 10 minutes during a Robitussin binge.

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The best part of making your own Alien costume: wearing it in public.

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Today I was watching “The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.” At the monsoon-destroyed ruins of Hotel Citroën on the island of Little Ping, Steve Zissou (Bill Murray) notes:

“What a shame. They had a bartender here, Kino, made the best Rum Cannonball I’ve ever tasted.”

The question comes to mind: Is this a real drink, or something invented by Wes Anderson? From internet discussions and references, it’s hard to tell if this drink actually existed before the movie. Based on an average of posted recipes, I made a Rum Cannonball (actual photo).

The Rum Cannonball
•1 part white rum
•1 part gin
•1 part orange juice
•1 part pineapple juice
•1 part lemon-lime soda
•1 part strawberry soda
Serve over ice with a key lime, pineapple, or tropical orchid garnish.

What does it taste like?: Not bad . . . fruity fizzy booze.

An alternate recipe also exists:
•2 oz rum
•Top-off with orange juice
•4-5 dashes of Angostura bitters

What does it taste like?: Not bad . . . rummy spicey o.j.

Bonus Round: Drink one while wearing a Hotel Citroën t-shirt.

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“The Orphanage” (El Orfanato)

Haunted orphanage!!
Creepy ghost with a doll mask.
Ghost kids are the worst.

I squealed like a girl.
What’s the Spanish word for “AAAAAAGHHH”?
Almost puked tapas.

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I just saw Cloverfield tonight and no . . . the monster did not look like the images of this whale-headed creature circulating around the internet.

I don’t want to give too much away if you haven’t seen it yet, but it looks more like a dinosaur-bodied, fish-tailed, 6-to-8-legged, grasshopper-headed, tadpole mutant (and almost a little too much like the mutant in The Host).

And if you really want a spoiler:
Here is my awesome Photoshop rendition of the monster.

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Handheld cameras
Half Blair witch, Half Godzilla
All entertaining.

Don’t make my mistake
And sit too close to the screen;
Headaches will ensue.

Note: for a crazy picture of the Cloverfield monster, click here.

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Head over to mashup.starwars.com to make your very own Star Wars mashup out of both their clips and your own. Originally this was part of a SpikeTV contest and the winners were posted on Spike. Even though the deadline has passed, you can still do some funny stuff. Here’s a hilarious one my buddy Ralph made– Greedo’s Gangsta Ebonics. Enjoy!

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ChuckNorrisFacts.com is still funny, though it has officially reached the status of once-legendary-but-now-stale. And Chuck Norris himself has recently demonstrated that he’s kind of a douche. Though he’s always been kind of a douche.

And he’s freakishly hairy.
Like Robin-Williams-gorilla hairy.

Who is far more worthy of such recognition?
Action hero Bruce Willis.
Of course.

To clarify:
•Women smoke after sex with Bruce Willis. And they also sizzle and smoulder.

•Bruce Willis doesn’t use toilet paper. He uses Chuck Norris.

•Bruce Willis had a small hairy growth surgically removed from his back. It was Chuck Norris.

•Bruce Willis can cook Minute Rice in 10 seconds. With his mind.

•Bruce Willis doesn’t catch colds. Colds catch Bruce Willis.

•Bruce Willis bleeds to trick his enemies into thinking he’s mortal.

•Chuck Norris’s martial arts skills: black belts in Tang Soo Do.
Bruce Willis’s martial arts skills: black belts in being Bruce Willis.

•Every December, Santa Claus sits on Bruce Willis’s lap.

•Bruce Willis isn’t balding - his hair couldn’t handle the action and had to go.

•When Bruce Willis farts, it smells like Chuck Norris.

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This has got to be one of the most (if not THE most) bizarre video clips I’ve ever seen, not to mention the first recorded instance of anyone “Ghost-riding” his or her respective “whip.”

ghost-ride /goʊst‧raɪd/ - verb, -rode; -rid‧den; -rid‧ing
1. To dance next to or on top of your hood while the car is still moving, ideally with many friends and with hip-hop music.

Most people believe ghostriding to have originated in Oakland, CA at sydeshows and through the music of E-40, Mac Dre and other Bay Area rappers, but here is proof that Werner Herzog and German midgets invented ghostriding. This clip, from Herzog’s 1970 film, Even Dwarfs Started Small, is aptly set to Mister F.A.B.’s Bay Area Classic, “Ghostride It.”

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[Every week my friend Jodi manages to be in the middle of something harsh and/or hilarious]

This week’s Jodi Report is a story of woe and wrongful shame at a local video rental franchise.

Here is the transcript from Jodi’s account:

“So, I went to Blockbuster (I usually get stoned and pick out movies). And I brought the movies up to the register and the guy at the register didn’t even look at my face. And I wrote a check (couldn’t find my ATM card) in my happy cheerleader writing with my Hello Kitty pen. I put my pen back in my purse.

I walk out to my car and then some guy came out after me saying, ‘Can we have our pen back?’ And he was walking toward me . . . and I was getting into my car. He chased me out to my car to get the f*%$ing pen back! I said ‘This is MY PEN.’ And he gave me a stupid look and said (like a smartass), ‘Yeah . . . Can we have OUR PEN back?!’ and the guy at the register and some stupid girl hanging out with them all stared at me as I drove off.

When I got home I called the number on the video receipt and said, ‘I was just in there and just got accused of stealing a pen and I didn’t do it.’ The manager said, ‘I’m sorry ma’am, I’ve gone through $200 worth of pens in the last couple of months and I’ve asked my employees to gently remind customers to not walk off with the pens.’

I got a call back from the manager (minutes later), and he said that this guy doesn’t even work for him and that the guy ‘isn’t right in the head.’ And he apologized. And put a couple free movies on my account . . .

So . . . I realized that the man had a pen shortage. So I bought four packs of pens (48 pens total). And three or four days later when I went to return my movies . . . I shoved all of them in the return slot.”

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This movie poster appeared in a local theater yesterday.
IT’S COMING!! OhMyGod OhMyGod OhMyGod!!!

Only 149 days left until the 4th Indiana Jones movie (May 22nd):

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”

I’m getting such a geek chub-on about this: I’m getting the t-shirt and wearing it every day until it rots off my body and I’m wallpapering my home with the movie poster and I’m going to dress up as a Star Wars character (probably Yoda) and wait in line for 3 days for the first showing.

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