Guess who’s not going to be vice president? That’s right– South Carolina governor, Mark Sanford. The state of South Carolina should be oh-so proud, with Sanford doing his best Lauren Caitlin Upton impression. Kudos to Keith Olbermann’s Countdown for this brilliant mashup.
This from the Dodgers-Indians game the other day– something doesn’t seem quite right with these attendance statistics…
[image via HH]
I found this shirt the other day in my great grandpa’s attic and licensed it to BustedTees … Now it can be yours for just $13!
Do you think George Lucas had this in mind when he made Star Wars?
Make sure you stick around for the Darth Vader crotchgrab at the end…
(Saw it first on ToplessRobot - Check those guys out)
The bierbauch (which in German literally means “beer belly”) is essentially a camelbak for your stomach, making beer consumption easier than ever. Also from the makers of the bierbauch comes the getraenke büstenhalter– a wine bra, so women can partake in the drinking action. Germans are equal opportunity drinkers!
Buy a bierbauch here for just $34.95.
Are you Male, Single, and Lonely? Got $175?
If you answered yes to all of these questions, then EMA is for you. Dubbed a “Busty Bot for Lonely Hearts” by the Sydney Morning Herald, “EMA”– which stands for Eternal Maiden Actualization– goes on sale in Japan this September for around $175, with a target market of lonely adult men. Even though she’s only 15 inches tall, her creators say “She’s very lovable and though she’s not a human, she can act like a real girlfriend,” entering “Love Mode” as well as being able to sing, dance, and pass our business cards.
(Thanks for the tip, Arian!)
Throughout gradeschool and highschool, English teachers repeatedly stated that it was our civic duty as Americans to adore and admire the works of Mark Twain. Years later and I still hate him.
Here is a revised list of the many reasons why I think Mark Twain is a douche:
• Tom Sawyer Island and the Mark Twain Riverboat are the lamest rides at Disneyland.
• He gave his characters dippy names like Huckleberry and Pudd’nhead. No kid would have gone by the name Huckleberry - classmates would have called him Hucklefairy or Fuckleberry. And Pudd’nhead already sounds dirty.
• Mark Twain impersonators (”Twainies”) are the lowest strata of the nerd pecking order - even Star Trek geeks and Renaissance Faire nerds make fun of them and beat them up.
• He was overly fond of the word “Yankee,” and often used it as an obscene verb.
• Mark Twain and Colonel Sanders used to go to parties together dressed the same. They thought it would get them chicks.
• Both Ernest Hemingway and Jack London could have taken Twain in a fistfight.
• At a time when people were dying of cholera, the standards for humor were pretty low. Frog jumping contests and suckering someone into painting a fence = SO NOT FUNNY.
• There are dozens of public schools and parks named after Mark Twain, but there isn’t even a single parking lot named after Elmore Leonard.
Last April, British supermarket chain Tesco removed a model of padded bra from their shelves.
It was designed for 7-to-10-year-olds.
A Tesco representative said:
“It is a product designed for girls at that self-conscious age when they are just developing. It is designed to cover up, not flatter, and was developed after speaking to parents.”
Here are two possible answers to many many questions that come to mind.
(photo by Daniel Brook)
(via L.A.Times)
As many of us had wished-upon those (bastard) classmates who were “successful” in high school: a recent study showed that 29% of high school seniors who were “doing well” failed to become financially independent by age 26, and 20% failed to meet their expected life goals at age 26.
Dr. John Schulenberg, professor of developmental psychology at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor:
“We used to think that if things were going well in high school, they’d continue to go well.”
Ha. Ha.
(via Susan, via Psychology Today)
Vintage footage of professional jackass Bill O’Reilly having a conniption fit (during the shooting of an episode of “Inside Edition”) has made its way around the interwebs in recent weeks.
Honestly, I would be more surprised to see footage of him not acting like a d!ck.
Behold the brilliant Barely Political “unseen footage” edit of the O’Reilly pants-pooping:
(via Mary, via Brave New Films)
Frustrated with all the unsolicited junk mail you receive? DearBulkMailer.com has come up with a great way to exact revenge on the very people that spam you. Or, put in other words: seeing as how you receive all this unsolicited junk mail every month from spammers, isn’t it s only fair that they should receive something unsolicited from you?
In 4 easy steps:
| 1) Get the “No Postage Necessary” envelope out of the junk mail |
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| 2) Put a brick (or anything) in a box. |
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| 3) Tape the “No Postage Necessary” envelope neatly to the box. |
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| 4) Put it into those blue mail boxes, the parcel dump at the post office, or in your mail box. |
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This only works with “No Postage Necessary When Mailed In the US” envelopes, and the kicker is this: when using these prepaid envelopes, the company that receives the piece of mail has to pay approximately 20 cents per ounce on what is delivered to them. This is no problem with a normal letter, but when you tape the no postage necessary envelope to a box containing an 8 pound brick, the junk mailer winds up having to pay $25, with all of the proceeds going to the US Postal Service.
Take that, junk mail!
(via Ben; via DearBulkMailer)
• Wikipedia - the “Mother of all Wikis . . . and -pedias”.
• Uncyclopedia - like Wikipedia, but drunk.
• Conservapedia - like Wikipedia, but stupid and paranoid.
• Dickipedia - like baseball cards, about jerks.
JimmyR has got a collection of some of the greatest student exam answers I’ve seen in a long time. Study up, all you young Dillatites out there, or else this will be you! Click the image for more.
(Thanks to Katya for the link)
Today I took this picture of a Starbucks . . .
FROM INSIDE A STARBUCKS ACROSS THE STREET!!!
San Francisco. 100 block of Battery Street near California Street.
I’m too cool to patronize a Starbucks, so let’s say I was in there to use the bathroom.
The Blogadilla Starbucks Challenge:
I will send a free Blogadilla T-shirt (when we get them made in the next month or so) to the first person who can send us a photograph with three separate Starbucks coffeeshops appearing in it.
Contest rules:
• Kiosks do not count, must be a full-fledged coffeeshop.
• They must be three separate Starbucks coffeeshops.
• You cannot use Photoshop, etc. - the photo must be untouched and all three must be clearly visible.
• It must be one photo, no panoramas (but send them anyway), or fish-eye lens shots.
• The photo must be yours and taken by you (not taken from a website, etc.).
• You must provide the specific addresses of the three Starbucks locations.
If you love pranks, or are just an a$$hole and want to piss off/lose your friends, you may or may not want to check out CalltheFuture.org, a unique service that until April Fools’ Day, I had never heard of. Sure, I’m a little late bringing to the site, but this is still worth addressing for all y’all Dillas out there.
Before I get started, however, let me state that CalltheFuture makes it clear that their service is not to be used for pranks. I personally would never do this, nor advocate it, but that doesn’t mean my buddy (who will remain nameless) wouldn’t… So again, I’m not advocating this– just bringing some interesting knowledge I happened across to the Dillasphere.
CalltheFuture’s service is marketed as a tool to help people remind themselves about important future engagements, from meetings and appointments to other responsibilities, allowing users to schedule “courtesy” calls in the future to any phone number they choose at any given time. In theory, this could be very useful, such as if I have to pick up my buddy from the airport at 3pm a week from now and I’m worried I might forget– I can just schedule a call for 12 noon that day to remind me. Sweet, right? Just type in a string of text you want read to you, plug in the phone number you want to call, type in the number you want to show up as the caller ID(!), and choose one of 7 voices (male or female, aged 30-55) you want to read your text. The rest, as they say, is magic.
Sure, CTF can be useful, but the possibility of tomfoolery is large. My advice is this: don’t not not pull pranks on your friends, such as setting up calls to your roommate at 5am daily, or programming nasty calls to your ex-girlfriend every hour on the hour.
(Image modified via CartoonStock.com)
As CollegeHumor.com says, “So what if it was their second date? She was the one!”
Ya gotta feel bad for this guy…but at least he got a free beer!
(From SteveB; via CollegeHumor.com)
