[A couple of weeks ago, Jodi began a new class of art project: her cat Steve has taken to crapping on her kitchen floor]
This week’s installment of the Jodi Cat-Sh!t Art Project (”the JCSAP”) is entitled:
“Happy Easter”
I’ve always hated clever statues of people in their native habitats.
I took this in New York City last month - a good shot of me picking its pocket.
Vulgar Note: Someone had taken a crap in the open bronze suitcase. Apparently other people hate this kind of art also.
There really are no words to describe this, except for the author’s comment on Flickr: “I can’t believe I took this picture.”
[Update from Heywood]: Proof that this photo isn’t photoshopped, my friend Dianna sent me a link to a video of this. Yuck!
As the author says, “Not sure who designed this, but I’m pretty confident they didn’t mean to make it look as if Jesus was showing his manhood to two children!”
The Elite Feet gallery of things eaten by trees:
[Update from Heywood]: Check out a whole gallery of stuff eaten by trees, here. Thanks to Markos for the link!
(via Susan, via John)
[Note: Though this story has all the sound and smell of an urban legend, I can attest that it is completely true: this story happened to me and the wedding photos are mine.]
The wedding photographer went rogue and did unrequested art experiments on my wedding photos: he made all of the photos glowing white and blue. Everything looked sickly and bright, like our wedding took place near aboveground nuclear testing.
Trying to be polite, I requested several reprints that captured the actual colors of the event and that didn’t look like we were arc welding. I also requested a disc of all of the raw digital photos, in the event he decided to f*% up the reprints as well.
Weeks later I get the disc and only about half the photos are on it. And the disc contained extra photos: The last 60 photos on the disc were of a young woman. Naked. And she was not at the wedding. And the photographer was in some of these photos, too. He was also naked. And in several of the photos, his *&^%$ was in her *@#$%.
And though the marriage ended in sorrow and I don’t care what color the photos are anymore, this is still a good story and it needed to be posted for the sake of posterity.
These are actual photos (edited).
Schadenfreude (shä-dən-froi-də) - n. Finding enjoyment or pleasure in the misfortune of others.
Behold the awesomely schadenfreud-tacular Fail Blog.
(via Susan)
Bought a box of firewood at the grocery store and this was on the side.
Apparently Goatse recycles.
There’s nothing quite as creepy as an abandoned psychiatric hospital.
My recommendation: Turn out the lights and take a look at the spectacular Opacity [urban ruins] gallery of abandoned morgues and mental hospitals while playing tracks from Tom Waits’ ‘Bone Machine’.
Bonus Rounds: Tour abandoned fallout shelters or tour an abandoned missile silo while playing R.E.M.’s ‘It’s the End of the World as We Know It.’
(via Steve “Simply Spent”)
Thanks, Steve.
It goes without saying that the internet is an unstoppable fons of pornographic materials. No matter how weird it is, if you can imagine it, it’s probably on the internet (for example: “Latex Soccer Moms”).
With one exception: albino porn.
It is the unicorn of the pornographic world.
If you do a Google search for “albino porn,” you’ll find nearly 16,000 results. And they are all the same: bulletin boards with people saying, “Wow! I can’t find albino porn anywhere! It doesn’t exist!”
For the record: it does exist though I have no idea exactly where it came from. That is, on a bulletin board discussing this very subject, someone posted links [NSFW] to photos [NSFW] of what appears to be the same (albino) woman doing various interesting acts. And yes, she appears to actually be albino, versus really pale.
(Admit it, at least part of you wants to check out the links [NSFW]).
Wow.
It does exist.
Barely.
Here’s a Blogadilla challenge to someone out there:
If you happen to be albino and want to make a pioneering move for the internet and for albinos everywhere, send us naked photos of yourself (nothing too gross) and we will host (a work-safe link to) these images.
If you are this person, consider these three good reasons:
1). To stop 16,000 people from saying “Oh man, it doesn’t exist.”
2). To demystify albinism in an effective way: to spread (no pun intended) the message that albinos are just like everyone else, except less tan. . . . and with the power of flight and the ability to communicate with the dead.
3). To have the claim that you are perhaps one of only two albino erotic models on the entire internet.
[Side Note: Though albino pornstars barely exist, there are albino fashion models: the lovely Chinese fashion model Connie Chiu]
This is my friend’s shoulder. This just happened.
Two words: snowboarding and clavicle.
I got this in a used bookstore. 1972. Naked Yoga. Awesome.
[click on the tiny photo for multiple images; NSFW, though nothing vulgar]:
Step 1 - Get a Persian rug.
Step 2 - Grow long, frizzy hair.
Step 3 - Strip.
Step 4 - Get comfortable with seeing your own buttocks hovering over your head.
My friend Jodi recently confessed that she went through an irrational and shameful ‘crafty’ phase a couple of years ago.
After seeing the photos, I agree.
She was right to consider it “shameful.”
Jodi, you are going to hell.
In the parking lot behind Walgreen’s, this tree was screaming to be goatse-d:
*For those of you who’ve been spared the heinous fury of goatse [work-safe Wikipedia link], it was a website (taken offline in 2004) with a front page image of a man doing something inspeakable to his own butt. This site was often used as a prank: send your friends a bogus link taking them to goatse, then wait for the gagging sounds. It has since become a legendary internet reference, which has inspired a large number of tributes and artworks [SSFW - Semi-Safe For Work].
*Also: a nice Flickr gallery of images of people’s expressions after seeing goatse for the first time.
*And . . . if you’re brave or a sicko, here is a goatse mirror [WARNING: NSFWLPOMTIWHY - Not Safe For Work, Lunch, or Peace of Mind, This Image Will Haunt You]
[UPDATE 12/2/07]: My sister had never seen goatse before; there is nothing quite as funny as the genuine look of horror on someone’s face after seeing it for the first time.
[Update 12/11/07]: My friend Jodi just saw goatse for the first time. This is the look of Jodi soiling herself in horror.
I didn’t have to courage to go in there and meet Arreola in person, but I suspect she is tan and round and sensitive.
Saw both of these today:
Nail’n Joy, Full Service - somehow it just sounds dirty.
“We need a catchy name . . . something that will make kids want to eat oatmeal, something quirky . . . “Apparently they didn’t see Indiana Jones: The Temple of Doom
Two books I am currently in love with (and they have no words, only pictures):
“Wanderlust” by Troy M. Litten - A wonderful collection of travel photos that sum-up a profound principle: the journey can be as dynamic as the destination. Litten’s photos capture the world of transit around the globe: an orange-tiled hotel bathroom, cryptic restroom signs, airplane meals, greasy food carts on the street, vivid taxi paintjobs, cups of coffee in 18 different hotels and restaurants.
“Point It” by Dieter Graf - this book just may be the most brilliant travel tool ever devised. Graf has created a language-free travel dictionary; namely, it is a pocket-sized book of photos of nearly anything that one would need (or one might encounter) while travelling. You don’t know the Russian word for “eggplant” - just point at the picture of it on the vegetable page. You can’t speak Mandarin and you want to know what meat you’re eating - the waiter can point to the deer, the cow, the goat, the bunny, the elk . . .
Dieter Graf, thank you for saving my ass in Estonia more than once.
