(via allgames, via Barack Obama Looking at Awesome Things)

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ERRATA: It has been brought to our attention that the above photo is a fake. In the original photo (below), the woman was actually trying to sell kittens (for pets or food).

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– President Barack Obama

(via Kris; via Gizmodo)

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According to the always wonderful English Russia: earlier this year Russian bloggers noticed the word Xyй (Khuy = “D*ck”) appearing in the natural creases of the hand of the American President.

[ . . . but nobody noticed that his left hand says "is HUGE!"]

(via English Russia)

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Especially if that voice is loud and stupid.

TOWN HALL MEETING TIPS
1). SHOUT – Remember, this is about “being heard.” And the best way to be heard is by shouting. Even if you don’t remember what you’re shouting about. Your goal is to be heard, not understood.

2). WEAR FLAGS – American flag apparel reminds everyone that you are speaking on behalf of all Americans . . . except for the Godless heathens that don’t go to your church, those foreigners, and the homos. Wearing a flag also means that if people disagree with you: they hate America.

3). REMEMBER YOUR BATTLE – It is important to remember that this is a battle between good and evil; this is not about being constructive. If you lose this battle, communist conspirators may force your grandchildren to have abortions while teaching them about dinosaurs. And never forget that socialized medicine could lead to other socialist institutions like public schools or a national postal system. If we aren’t careful, we could easily end-up like those bastards Canada, England, or Sweden.

4). BRING SIGNS – Signs are simply shouting for the deaf. And it’s more patriotic if they aren’t spelled correctly. The Freedom of Speech is also the freedom to put apostrophes wherever you feel like and to spell things as you please. Don’t let the intellectual Liberal elite shut you down with their fancy “grammar” or “spelling.”

5). NEVER FACT CHECK – “Facts” and “proof” should never get in the way of you being heard, nor should they stop you from living in fear. Remember: if everyone believes it, it must be true. If everyone in your group fears that our government will create “death committees” to execute the elderly, then it must be true. Also, feel free to cite anything you heard on the Interweb, FOX News, or at gun shows. “Proven facts” are for smartasses, anyway.

6). BLAME – When all else fails, blame the Liberal media, welfare moms, homosexuals, foreigners, terrorists, and 9-11. Blame the foreigners especially.

7). TEA-BAG – Use the term “tea bagging” as much as possible – it’s time we took this term back from the homos.

Barney Frank Smackdown Bonus Round:

I love you Barney.
(via Rebecca)

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Which one is the original Palin speech?
Sample A:
“Here I will show the best kind of trip, the best prices in the United States. Peak, large, and jump to the middle of Sunday night, in addition to this in particular. Winter, when the marble is cold, beautiful and cold, it cannot be separated from the fermented dough, Cheechakos, or frozen conflicts in the street? Only 50 of the 100 degree heat, only two months ago from two months now, not in the Summer – blooming fireweed along the cold in the Summer and merciless river carvings, which brings to mind the noise and spit on the quality of the mother here. Alaska and all of nature, and life, and the future in the north and on the roads. Since this is a day to see. In these limits, we believe that the United States is now, the second problem is that of hope and opportunity, and very proud of the country.”

Sample B:
“And getting up here I say it is the best road trip in America soaring through nature’s finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then the extremes. In the winter time it’s the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn’t it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs? And then in the summertime such extreme summertime about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter than just some months ago, than just some months from now, with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here, Mother Nature wins. It is as throughout all Alaska that big wild good life teeming along the road that is north to the future. That is what we get to see every day. Now what the rest of America gets to see along with us is in this last frontier there is hope and opportunity and there is country pride.”

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(via Sameer)

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