Foreign branding is the art of making a brand name sound attractively foreign.

The formula for making an ice cream/frozen yogurt name:
• Two words.
• First word two syllables, second word one syllable.
• Have at least one Z or S.
• The first word should end in N.
• Put a diaeresis ön top of ëvery third vöwel.

Häagen Dazs – An American ice cream company, founded in the Bronx in 1961. Neither word exists in any Scandinavian or Northern European language.

Frusen Glädjé – An American ice cream company, founded in 1980. Unsuccessfully sued by Häagen Dazs in 1981 for “stealing their fake Scandinavian idea.” Surprisingly, “frusen glädje” (without the accent) actually means “frozen joy” in Swedish.

Yogen Früz – An American frozen yogurt franchise founded in 1986. Neither the word “yogen” nor “früz” exists in any Scandinavian or Northern European language.

Freshëns – A frozen yogurt and smoothie franchise based in Atlanta, Georgia. Also known as “Yogurt Ventures U.S.A., Inc.” The word does mean “fresh” or “freshen” in Swedish, Danish, and Norwegian, but still sounds like a Scandinavian feminine hygiene product.

Lïnk:
A nice Clicknation article on foreign branding by Bruce Campbell.

Tötali Reläted:
The Blogadilla Swedish Furniture Name Generator

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Bay Area artist and industrial designer Lawrence Yang’s take on the new Pepsi logo:

His rendition has haunted me for months and I will never see the new logo the same way again. Well done Lawrence, hope you don’t get sued.

Yang’s design is available in t-shirt form (even in fat sizes).

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Lucky Mojo – for all your supernatural household needs:

• Peruvian charm bottles
• Secret and magic inks
• Nepalese fertility charms
• Soap of St. Ramon
• Graveyard dirt

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The marketing tsunami for yet another comic book movie – “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” – has produced perhaps one of the most disjoint product tie-ins ever:

Wolverine X-Treme Cappuccino.

Because angry mutant fury smells like French vanilla and tastes like sideburns.

Now available at 7-Eleven.

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This amazing shower gel dispenser can be yours for only $17.99 + $7 Shipping:

Potpourrigift.com is full of other useless crap you might want, like the Solar Owl, a “Leprechaun Door,” or the age-old Fart Extinguisher.

(Hat tip to Magnus for the link)

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Bag available at Archie McPhee.
Only $6.95.

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Dammit!
Once again I’ve missed out on getting my hands on a decent pair of Reebok “Alien Stompers.”

Reebok “Alien Stompers” are the cool futuristic sneakers that Sigourney Weaver wore in the 1986 science fiction film “Aliens.”

1987: Reebok made a limited release of these sneakers. And I was too young and too broke to get my hands on them.

2003: They were re-released in a limited run (mostly in Japan). The best I could get were some brown suede ones. They’re cool, but you don’t really look like you’re ready to hand aliens their asses in these.

2007: Stupid “Freddy Kreuger” themed ones were released.

October 2008: Again, a limited-edition release of them (in Japan) with cool color mods. The stylish “space suit white” ones are by far the best. And they are nowhere to be found already. Too damn late, again. And that’s alright because I’m still broke and rent is more important than sneakers. Maybe.

(image from Hypebeast.com)

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