Soon after its creation in 1971 (in the mad scientist labs of General Mills), many disdraught parents discovered that FrankenBerry cereal turned more than the milk pink. Apparently the red dyes in FrankenBerry did not break down in the disgestive tract, producing what medical professionals have come to refer to as “FrankenBerry stool.” Red and pink stuff was coming out of childrens’ bodies and parents were taking them to doctors to screen for internal bleeding. These incidents were common enough for the term “FrankenBerry stool” to make its way into medical literature.

In the name of science and all that is sophomoric, I took it upon myself to personally test this. Behold: “Operation FrankenBerry.” It is a hard-to-find cereal in my area, but luckly I was able to buy FrankenBerry on Amazon.com (also available through Hometown Favorites). Earlier this week, I had two sequential meals consisting of FrankenBerry.

The results: No FrankenBerry stool. They have changed the dyes since 1971. FrankenBerry comes out the same as Count Chocula.

Stay tuned.
Next research project: “Operation BooBerry” (accounts from friends indicate that it does turn things purple). I will post the results soon.

Note: Though the resemblance is uncanny, Al Franken is not affiliated with FrankenBerry.

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