Blogadilla is not only known by our readers as a significant source for important daily news and crap jokes, but as a profound contributor to the world of scientific research; having researched and published our findings on such significant topics as:

• What effect does Frankenberry cereal have on the color of your poop?

• Does albino pornography exist on the Internet.

• Making soap from bacon fat.

• The medical truth behind ‘Chinese Restaurant Syndrome.’

• The great inventory of crappy balloon animals.

Today we are proud to offer you the results of a 30-day investigation into the mechanics of “mood rings.” Though most mood rings come with a color guide to help you understand the meaning of each of the colors, we have come to find that most of these guides are totally incorrect. Below is a more accurate guide to the colors of mood rings, based upon 63 total hours of original scientific observation at Blogadilla Laboratories.

We hope that this contribution to science will once again benefit humanity in the way that so many of our other works have.

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A duly noted point around the Internet: Google will offer interesting search suggestions when typing in common question words – who, what, where, why, when, and how?

We at Blogadilla have the answers to many of Google’s suggested questions and we offer them here in a single convenient location:

Q: WHY IS A RAVEN LIKE A WRITING DESK?
A: Both have (inky) black quills.

Q: WHY IS MY POOP GREEN?
A: Aside from intestinal parasites (which also usually give you violent/aggressive bowel movements), green poop often results from iron supplements, vitamins, and certain pigments found in foods. Chlorophyll (the green pigment in green vegetables) in significant amounts can give you green poop, and anthocyanins (the blue-purple-red pigments in many fruits and vegetables) can also turn vidid green in your digestive tract.

Q: WHAT DOES MY NAME MEAN?
A: Do a search in most baby name books or online and you will come to grips with a secret fact about humanity: over 95% of first names when traced to their original meaning are something like “Gift of God,” “Love of God,” or “Messenger of God.” The remaining 5% are all regional forms of the name “Steve,” which was accidentally invented in AD 1151 as a misspelling of the name “Stuart” . . . which means “Gift of God.”

Q: WHO IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD?
A: The consensus is that Indian actress and model Aishwarya Rai is the most beautiful woman in the world.

Q: HOW DO YOU KNOW IF A GUY LIKES YOU?
A: Even if he sleeps with you, there is still no sure way to tell. However, some good indicators are: remembering your name, returning your calls within 72 hours, he doesn’t introduce you to his family or friends, he is willing to sit through a “chick movie” with you (this is only an indicator if you’ve already had sex; if you haven’t yet, he may just be trying to get laid).

Q: HOW DO YOU KNOW IF A GIRL LIKES YOU?
A: This question assumes that she even knows if she likes you. With some women, this uncertainty can last for decades. Having sex is usually not a good indicator and in fact may just confuse you and her even more.

Q: WHY DO MEN HAVE NIPPLES?
A: The sexes of most mammals are differentiated in a very efficient way: we start early in the womb with “undifferentiated” genitalia (and having precursors to both testes and ovaries). Add a little testosterone and the genitals become male, and the testes remain and the ovaries disappear; the absence of testosterone will cause the testes to disappear, the ovaries to remain, and the genitalia to become female. Though our sex is genetically predetermined, males and females begin with the same general body plan and testosterone (in the womb) makes the minimum number of changes necessary to distinguish the sexes. It is economical to have nipples included in the “stock” human body plan (and to just keep them around in men), rather than undergo a separate process of developing them in women or removing them in men.

(more…)

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Every treehouse in America needs one of these.

(via Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down)

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This morning’s sucky NASA LCROSS non-explosion had me thinking hard about how awesome all things associated with space travel are. Here is my running list of . . .

SPACE TRAVEL AWESOMENESS

1). BUY A SPACE SUIT – You can actually BUY equipment and suits used by Soviet cosmonauts on space missions: autographed underwear worn by cosmonaut Alexander Poleschu, autographed space suit gloves, some personal effects taken by cosmonauts into space, an actual Soyuz Rocket launch key, a hammer used on the MIR Space Station (and another), and even an unused space suit human waste receptacle bag.

2). LUNAR CRASH – The amazing final minute of video footage taken by Japan’s JAXA SELENE/Kaguya lunar probe as it crash-landed on the Moon. Also, beautiful low-orbit video footage from the probe.

3). PHOBOS 2 – Beautiful color images of Mars and its moon Phobos taken by the Soviet Phobos 2 probe – the final (successful) mission of the Soviet Union space program.

4). SPACE ODDITY – Ziggy Stardust’s song “Space Oddity” covered by Ween, Seu Jorge, or the Langley Schools Music Project (a personal favorite).

5). ASTRONAUT WRISTWATCH – The Omega Speedmaster Professional – the first wristwatch worn on the Moon and the only item of early astronaut equipment that could be purchased by the public. How to make your own NASA-style velcro strap (PDF) for your Speedmaster (or whathaveyou).

6). WATCH ASTRONAUTS – Live Space Station video on NASA TV.

7). COSMONAUT WRISTWATCHES – A gallery of wristwatches worn by Soviet cosmonauts through the ages (Yuri Gagarin wore a general issue Shturmanski watch). You can buy the modern Poljot Shturmanski “Gagarn” commemorative chronograph.

8). SPACE SHIP ONE – SpaceShipOne’s “X-Prize” first contest flight, and its second flight, and Virgin Galactic’s “SpaceShip 2″ concept video. And the U.S. patent of SpaceShipOne.

9). FIRST PHOTOS ON THE MOON – The first images taken on the Moon, by the Soviet Luna and Zond probes.

10). LAND ON THE MOON YOURSELF – Play the oldschool “Lunar Lander” game or play an impressive modern version of “Lunar Lander” that incorporates Google Moon and real sound effects from the Apollo 11 mission.

11). RUSSIAN SPACE MUSEUM – EnglishRussia’s wonderful gallery of the Russian Space Museum (including the taxidermied remains of cosmonaut dogs Belka and Strelka).

12). SPACE PROGRAM ART – Artist Tom Sachs’ exhibit “Space Program,” including a hilarious exhibit video by the Neistat Bros, and a NASA Astronaut Knife designed by Sachs.

13). LANDING ON VENUS – Amazing digitally enhanced images of the surface of the planet Venus taken by the Soviet Venera probes.

14). LANDING ON SATURN’S MOON TITAN – Composite video of the landing of the European Space Agency’s 2005 Huygens probe landing on Saturn’s moon Titan; fisheye composite video of the landing with probe system data, and a video reconstruction of the landing site.

15). LE VOYAGE DANS LA LUNE – Georges Méliès’ 1902 silent film Le Voyage Dans la Lune “The Voyage to the Moon” [part 1 and part 2], one of the first science fiction films ever made.

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Early this morning at 4:31AM Pacific Time, NASA sent the 2.5 ton LCROSS Centaur rocket screaming on a collision course with what we’ve hoped to be an ice-filled crater at the Moon’s south pole (called Cabeus Crater).

And the resulting impact was totally AMAZING sucky. I’ve seen more spectacular car wrecks. And I’m glad I didn’t sit outside with a telescope at 4:30 in the morning looking for this.

HERE’S THE VIDEO:



NOT SUCKY BONUS ROUND:
NASA/JPL’s 2005 Deep Impact probe collision with Comet Tempel 1 (nice, big explosion).

The JAXA (Japan’s Space Agency) 2007 SELENE/Kaguya probe passing ~50km over the surface of the Moon; watch the Earth rise at 1:20.

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Item 2 of Blogadilla’s Medica Obscura.

FRANKENBERRY STOOL – the false appearance of blood in the stool from red commercial food dyes that do not degrade in the digestive tract (FD&C Red #2 and #3). The name was coined by doctors in the early 1970’s from false concerns about blood in the stool of children who had consumed General Mills’ “FrankenBerry Cereal.” General Mills has since changed the colorants in its cereal – I tested this a few years ago and it comes out the same as Count Chocula.

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Item 3 of Blogadilla’s Medica Obscura.

CHINESE RESTAURANT SYNDROME – attributed to the flavor enhancer monosodium glutamate (MSG) which is commonly added to Chinese food, the symptoms of Chinese Restaurant Syndrome can include feelings of numbness, pressure, warmth or tingling of the skin at the back of the neck and extending to the back and arms; nausea; chest pain, rapid heartrate, or heart palpitations; bronchial reaction in asthmatics; weakness and drowsiness. The onset is usually within 15 to 20 minutes of ingesting food and symptoms persist for around 2 hours. Though this syndrome has been reported by many, clinical studies to date have yet to demonstrate a significant relationship between the consumption of (pure) MSG and this syndrome. Though no current studies have tested the effects of MSG consumed in the context of Chinese food – perhaps MSG in combination with other ingredients often found in American Chinese food may bring about this reaction in some individuals. MSG is a known excitotoxin at higher blood serum levels, though beyond what one would experience from eating Chinese food.

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