Cracked.com’s list of 25 Most Baffling Toys from Around the World.

(via Crocodile Skin and Alligator Toes)

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This is the 4th of July celebration in Santa Cruz, California.
Imagine Apocalypse Now with more explosions and more severed heads.

The song is “Star Spangled Mojo” by Mojo Nixon - perhaps the best rendition of “The Star Spangled Banner” ever.

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Many of us had those cool Hypercolor color-changing T-shirts and shorts in the early 90’s. Apparently Hypercolor is making a comeback.

Time for a whole new generation to learn why we all stopped wearing Hypercolor in the first place.

• Thermochromatic T-Shirts

• Hypercolor toilet seat (because Hypercolor is so very good at revealing ass).

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(not actual photo)

Yesterday, around 10:40 AM, several residents of San Bernardino and Riverside Counties (California) reported seeing a large ball of fire falling from the sky. No FAA reports of missing aircraft, etc.

If you personally saw this or you have photos, please let us know what you saw.

Linkety-Link

(via Susan)

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Each of us is an Olympian in our own way.
Turn up your volume.

(via Angie)

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The pattern of recent disasters in China has had many superstitious people concerned about the Olympic Mascots (the Fuwa) - claiming that each of the five reflects/predicts a particular disaster. According to Reuters, Chinese censors have made efforts to remove posts about the Fuwa superstitions, struggling to keep the air of the upcoming Olympics at a rosy-fresh note.

Recently, the fifth and final Fuwa prophecy has been supposedly fulfilled.

Huanhuan - The Olympic Flame - (“The Bearer of Incendiary Strife”) Starting in March 2008, this Olympic Torch Relay may go down in history as one of the most protested and problematic.

Jingjing - The Giant Panda - (“The Lord of Angry Earth”) The panda patron of Sichuan Province has been associated with the disastrous 7.9 May 12th earthquake that occurred there, which left 69,000 dead and over a million stranded or homeless. The epicenter of the earthquake was near the Wulong Panda Research Center.

Yíngying - The Tibetan Antelope - (“The Creature of Righteous Unrest”) On March 10, 2008 - the 49th anniversary of the Tibetan Uprising Day - demonstrations began in China. By March 14th, destructive riots ensued in several regions of China.

Nini - The Swallow/Shayan Kite - (“The Bearer of Unfortunate Wind”) April 28, China Railway Train T195 crashed near the city of Zibo in Shandong Province, killing 72 people and injuring more than 420. The nearby city of Weifang has had a long association with Shayan kites.

Bèibei - The Chinese Sturgeon - (“The Bringer of Torrent and Flood”) Over the last month, flooding in Yunnan, Guizhou, and Sichuan Provinces has displaced thousands of people and over 1,000 people are missing or dead.

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Do you think George Lucas had this in mind when he made Star Wars?

Make sure you stick around for the Darth Vader crotchgrab at the end…

(Saw it first on ToplessRobot - Check those guys out)

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The Happening

Mark Wahlberg stars while
Shyamalan gets preachy
with gross suicides.

Is it phones?!? Is it
trees!?! Is it crowds?!? Is it bees!?!
What (the hell) is this disease?!?

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It’s time for graduation ceremonies once again. Here’s a working list of some of the more interesting graduation commencement speakers:

• Drury University, 2007 - gameshow host Bob Barker [video]

• University of Pennsylvania, 2004 - Bono

• Harvard, 2006 - Seth MacFarlane (the voice of “Stewie” on “Family Guy”) [video]

• Stanford, 2008 - Oprah Winfrey

• Columbia, 2007 - “Lost” actor Matthew Fox

• Harvard, 2008 - author J.K. Rowling

• Ashley Hall Girls Preparatory School, 2007 - Mike Reiss (writer/producer of “The Simpsons”) - I included this because he is one of the funniest commencement speakers I have ever seen: video 1, video 2, video 3, video 4, video 5.

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“Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil” (Loren Bouchard, H. Jon Benjamin) - perhaps one of the funniest shows ever to air on [adult swim]. Already done with its first season, and perhaps already done with its last season - it looks like [adult swim] may not pick “Lucy” up for a second season. Perhaps because it is a little too controversial at times: DJ Jesus (the second coming) and his love interest Lucy (the Daughter of the Devil) live the 20-something hipster life with their friend Judas, while Lucy’s father makes regular attempts to overtake the world. Plus a never-ending supply of priest jokes.

The credits of “Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil” are funnier than an entire season of “Family Guy.”

Watch some: “Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil”

Or buy some: iTunes link

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If anyone knows if this is true - if you can really do this or if this is a hoax - please let us know in the comments section below.
Nevermind. It’s a hoax, but it’s still awesome.

(via Garry)

Update 6/20/08: This is actually a brilliant marketing tactic by Cardo Systems (a French cellphone company) - they created and released these urban-legendy videos on YouTube.

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In the 7th century BC, Sappho - poet and resident of the Greek island of Lesbos - wrote of her great love of women, and thus the term “lesbian” was born.

As well as the ancient Greek sport of hot girl-on-girl pillowfighting.

The 100,000 current residents of the island of Lesbos are now taking it back - citing that the use of “lesbian” to denote female homosexuality violates their human rights, as the “original Lesbians.”

There’s a bad “Who’s on First” comedy dialogue waiting to be written about this - it starts with “Where are you from?”

BBC News article

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Last April, British supermarket chain Tesco removed a model of padded bra from their shelves.

It was designed for 7-to-10-year-olds.

A Tesco representative said:
“It is a product designed for girls at that self-conscious age when they are just developing. It is designed to cover up, not flatter, and was developed after speaking to parents.”

UK Telegraph full article

Here are two possible answers to many many questions that come to mind.

(photo by Daniel Brook)

(via L.A.Times)

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World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks

[I just finished reading it (and yes, I know this book has been out a while)]:

By title alone, you are probably thinking one of two things:
a). “Cool! Zombie fiction!“
b). “Dear God . . . Zombie fiction?!?“

Here’s the catch: it’s not so much about zombies, it’s about how different societies would react to a global pandemic. However, the pandemic in this story happens to be the reanimated dead. And author Max Brooks didn’t get lazy about it either - he did his homework, he left no technical detail to chance. The only real fiction is the zombie part: no Deus ex machina, no laser guns invented to save humanity.

Topically, Brooks found a fascinating subject, flush with interesting questions:
“How would China or Canada react to a pandemic?”
“What is the best way to stop a pandemic from spreading across the globe?”
“What would happen to the average person when their town/city is overrun?”
“What would our government do?”
“How would we rebuild?”

Brooks also chose the perfect format for this type of story - the story is told through interviews (dozens and dozens of interviews) with different people around the world who were at significant events/moments during the spread of the disease and/or the subsequent war.

Bonus Round: It’s already on its way to being a feature film in 2010.

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Proof that cellphones are evil and that exorcisms can be performed by your microwave.

(via Neatorama)

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Garry Kasparov: 0

Flying Penis: 1

Russian Security Guard: 2 (+1 for aerial smackdown)

(via Gorilla Sushi)

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It looks like General Zod may give the other presidential candidates a run for their money.

“Kneel before Zod, son of Jor-el!!!

link: Vote for Zod 2008

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Over a decade ago, I was a substitute elementary school teacher (and later a full-time junior high Spanish teacher).

Scene: I’m in charge of a roomfull of 1st graders. A tiny boy walks up to my desk, hands me a piece of paper.

Me: What is this?

Tiny Boy: It’s a picture I drew . . . of you.

Me: What’s wrong with my teeth?!?

Tiny Boy: [laughing his head off] YOU HAVE ANTS IN YOUR TEETH!!!

End Scene

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• Wikipedia - the “Mother of all Wikis . . . and -pedias”.

• Uncyclopedia - like Wikipedia, but drunk.

• Conservapedia - like Wikipedia, but stupid and paranoid.

• Dickipedia - like baseball cards, about jerks.

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Japanese McDonald’s Commercial

I’m so confused:
She’s hot in a Milla Jovovich “Fifth Element” kind of way (hot), but she’s dressed as Ronald McDonald (creepy), and it reminds me of Ron English (subversive and hip) and clown porn (creepy).

(via Accordion Guy)

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