Prepare to be amazed: Janine Sugawara recently discovered that Cap’n Crunch Crunchberries are not real berries.

U.S. District Court Judge Morrison England Jr. dismissed Sugawara’s lawsuit:

” . . . a reasonable consumer would not be deceived into believing that the Product in the instant case contained a fruit that does not exist . . . So far as this Court has been made aware, there is no such fruit growing in the wild or occurring naturally in any part of the world. “

Other Potential Lawsuits for Janine Sugawara:
• Hot Dogs (rarely contain dog)
• Donkey Punch (not a beverage)
• Chicken Fingers (fingers: yes / chicken: no)
• Cap’n Crunch (not an actual naval officer)
• Baby Oil (only Mexican brands contain baby)
• Frankenberries (no relationship to Al Franken)
• Marion Berry (a controlled substance, but not a berry)
• Dick Van Dyke (heterosexual)

(via Susan, via The Consumerist, via Lowering the Bar)

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He died how he lived: in a hotelroom in Bangkok, Thailand. Link

(via Susan)

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National Geographic slideshow:
Glowing Animals – Pictures of Animals Shining for Science.

Animals genetically modified; their bodies now produce fluorescent proteins.

(via Notcot)

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Terminator Salvation

Big explosions and
motorcycle robots!! Sweet!!
One-point-five thumbs up!

Good visuals and
mediocre plot. Nearly
Schwarzenegger free.

Totally Unrelated Note:
Hobo-Fighting Robots

Totally Related Note:
Terminator 2: Judgement Day Sweded edition

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(photos by Todd Krainin for the New York Times)

The globe’s largest youth paramilitary organization (known as the “Boy Scouts“) is now offering “Anti-Terrorism Youth Training” through their Explorer Scouts program.

The current Imperial County (CA) program offers training exercises for:
• National border patrol
• Terrorism and hostage scenarios
• Sniper killing sprees
• Raiding marijuana fields

New York Times link and kick ass crime-fighting slideshow.

(via BLDG blog)

Famous Boy Scouts:
Neil Armstrong, Sir David Attenborough, Mayor Marion Barry, serial killer Gary Bishop, first “Afronaut” Col. Guion Bluford, David “Ziggy Stardust” Bowie, Jimmy Buffett, George W. Bush, Swedish Prime Minister Ingvar Carlsson, Bill Clinton, Walter Cronkite, Michael Dukakis, Dwight Eisenhower, Harrison Ford, Gerald Ford, Bill Gates, Richard Gere, David Gilmour, John Glenn, John F. Kennedy, David Lynch, UK Prime Minister John Major, Branford Marsalis, actor Jerry Mathers, Paul McCartney, George Michael, Michael Moore, Jim Morrison, Ross Perot, Eddie Rabbitt, John Ritter, Theodore Roosevelt, Donald Rumsfeld, John “Bo Duke” Schneider, Steven Spielberg, Jimmy Stewart, John Tesh,

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(photo: AFP/Getty)

The giant thong-clad buttcheeks of China’s first sex-themed amusement park “Love Land” will remain forever silent – closed before they could ever open wide. Apparently China is not ready to go public with its rampant sexuality.

The Chongqing amusement park was intended to promote sex education: decorated with large statues of male and female genitalia, offering sex workshops and exhibits detailing sex across history and culture. Once again, the world will have to settle for Las Vegas.

Links: Oooh, Aaah, Oh

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The recently announced winner of this year’s Eurovision song contest is Alexander Rybak (Norway).

Holy shit:

THINGS YOU COULD NOT DO WITH THIS SONG:
• Breakdance, slamdance, or most anything else other than a polka.
• Have sex.
• Fight crime.
• Commit crime.
• Turn up the volume without looking around to see if friends are nearby.
• Film an action scene in a movie.
• Pick up chicks.

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