Seven or Eight Brandy & Coke Bonus Round:

• The Cop Who Made Brownies
• THE Motorized Recliner

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Which one is the original Palin speech?
Sample A:
“Here I will show the best kind of trip, the best prices in the United States. Peak, large, and jump to the middle of Sunday night, in addition to this in particular. Winter, when the marble is cold, beautiful and cold, it cannot be separated from the fermented dough, Cheechakos, or frozen conflicts in the street? Only 50 of the 100 degree heat, only two months ago from two months now, not in the Summer – blooming fireweed along the cold in the Summer and merciless river carvings, which brings to mind the noise and spit on the quality of the mother here. Alaska and all of nature, and life, and the future in the north and on the roads. Since this is a day to see. In these limits, we believe that the United States is now, the second problem is that of hope and opportunity, and very proud of the country.”

Sample B:
“And getting up here I say it is the best road trip in America soaring through nature’s finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then the extremes. In the winter time it’s the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn’t it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs? And then in the summertime such extreme summertime about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter than just some months ago, than just some months from now, with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here, Mother Nature wins. It is as throughout all Alaska that big wild good life teeming along the road that is north to the future. That is what we get to see every day. Now what the rest of America gets to see along with us is in this last frontier there is hope and opportunity and there is country pride.”

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Check out the world’s Ugliest Tattoos – there are some real gems over there.

(via Katya)

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Prepare to be amazed: Janine Sugawara recently discovered that Cap’n Crunch Crunchberries are not real berries.

U.S. District Court Judge Morrison England Jr. dismissed Sugawara’s lawsuit:

” . . . a reasonable consumer would not be deceived into believing that the Product in the instant case contained a fruit that does not exist . . . So far as this Court has been made aware, there is no such fruit growing in the wild or occurring naturally in any part of the world. “

Other Potential Lawsuits for Janine Sugawara:
• Hot Dogs (rarely contain dog)
• Donkey Punch (not a beverage)
• Chicken Fingers (fingers: yes / chicken: no)
• Cap’n Crunch (not an actual naval officer)
• Baby Oil (only Mexican brands contain baby)
• Frankenberries (no relationship to Al Franken)
• Marion Berry (a controlled substance, but not a berry)
• Dick Van Dyke (heterosexual)

(via Susan, via The Consumerist, via Lowering the Bar)

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(via Chris; via Boing^2)

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If you’re wondering, just ask the Washington Nationals Natinals. That’s right– Natinals. Last Friday, 2 of the Nationals’ biggest stars, Adam Dunn and Ryan Zimmerman were given (and played with) jerseys missing an “O”. Can anyone out there tell me how such a mistake gets made– I mean this is professional sports, people.  And can’t you just go to the giftshop and buy these two guys a new jersey?

Other notable sports mispellings (unbelievably) have included the following:

The Torotno Blue Jays

The Cncinnati Reds

The West Virgina Men’s Basketball Team

Did someone say Whale’s Virgina??

(images courtesy of ESPN)

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(via Diane)

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(via Angie)

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• Two of the sons were subjected to living in the basement: the former basement morgue was now “the boys’ room.” Apparently morgue equipment was still stored/abandoned in the basement.

• Members of the household reported odd smells and seeing and hearing odd things. A religious family, they ascribed these incidents to demons.

• The eldest son, who lived in the morgue/basement, underwent significant personality changes: becoming angry, moody, and dark – including writing poetry about necrophilia [link]. The eldest son is eventually institutionalized for a period of time.

• The family welcomes paranormal investigators and a priest into their home. The priest exorcizes the home, expelling the “demons.”

• This series of events has produced a book “In a Dark Place”, a Discovery Channel documentary, and soon a feature film “The Haunting in Conneticut” [trailer below].

* NOTE: Mortuary embalming commonly entails the use of phenol, methanol, formaldehyde, glutaraldehyde, and ethanol. Some of these are notably carcinogenic, most are toxic, and prolonged exposure to some of these can cause delirium/hallucinations.

Yeah.
Demons.

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