This is something of an open letter to all Halloween party-goers.

WHAT NOT TO WEAR THIS HALLOWEEN:

Sexy/Naughty Devil – Ladies, there is a very good chance that you are too fat for this one, despite the fact that the other girls at the spray-tanning salon tell you that you look good in it. This costume shows no imagination and it usually comes across as “red cow” or “drunk sorority girl with horns.” Stop wearing this stupid costume. This also applies to your friend in the angel costume – the one who will make out with you to get attention at parties. Yeah, we get it, angel and devil. You are so clever.

M&M – Ladies, this costume is the antidote to sexy. The M&M costume is the Halloween equivalent of wearing Mom Jeans. No man would ever have sex with you after seeing you in the M&M costume, even if he’s married to you.

Football/Baseball Player – Guys, putting on your old highschool football or baseball uniform does not count as a Halloween costume. The operative word being “costume,” not “uniform.” This is Halloween. There is nothing scary about a baseball player, you morons. Having your girlfriend wear it is equally lame even if you’re planning on having homoerotic sportsfan sex later that evening while you watch old tapes of your highschool football games. This also applies to all other uniforms: hockey goalie, surgical scrubs, construction worker, referee, police officer, etc.

Any Costume Involving a Pun – It is Halloween, not a punchline to a lame joke. Yeah, we get it, you are a turd with bull horns. We know you enjoy people asking you what you are so you can drop the punchline on them. However, you will find yourself regularly saying “get it?” at the end of your explanation, which is a clear sign that your clever costume sucks.

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A goofy interactive site: Palin as President.

(via Susan)

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“The October newsletter by the Chaffey Community Republican Women, Federated says if Obama is elected his image will appear on food stamps . . . Fedele said she got the illustration in a number of chain e-mails and decided to reprint it for her members in the Trumpeter newsletter. . . “

Press Enterprise article link

(via Angie, via Susan)

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In 1947, the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists created the Doomsday Clock as a way of representing humanity’s proximity to “catastrophic destruction.” Midnight represents the point of destruction and since 2007 — when the clock was moved ahead two minutes due to North Korean nuclear weapons testing — we’ve been at 11:55.
Five minutes to midnight.

As a means of measuring the surreal stupidity of our nation, we at Blogadilla have created the Clock of Stupid – if the clock strikes midnight, it’s official: we are a hopelessly stupid nation of open-mouthed breathers who will collapse under the weight of our own fat ignorance.

We are living in potentially great times and this clock will be a way to visually measure the changes that may come. Here’s the last few years of changes in the time of the Clock of Stupid:

2000 – plus 5 minutes (11:35) George W. Bush is elected president.

2002 – plus 1 minute (11:36) American Idol debuts and soon becomes America’s top television show.

2003 – plus 5 minutes (11:41) America’s response to the attack on the World Trade Towers: we invade Iraq.

2004 – plus 7 minutes (11:48) George W. Bush is re-elected as president.

2005 – plus 1 minute (11:49) Tyra Banks is given her own talkshow.

2005 – plus 3 minutes (11:52) The Kansas State Board of Education adopts new policies about teaching evolution and creationism in public schools.

2007 – minus 5 minutes (11:47) Senator Barack Obama announces his candidacy for the 2008 presidential election.

2008 – plus 3 minutes (11:50) Soccer mom and human publicity stunt Sarah Palin is announced as Republican vice presidential candidate.

2008 – plus 1 minute (11:51) David Zucker releases the jingoistic film An American Carol.

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Think it isn’t possible to go from “best man” to “guy we’ll never talk to again because you destroyed my special day” in 10 seconds? Think again.

(via Andy)

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Fancy yourself a little Sarah Palin? Think she’s winking at you through the TV? You betcha she is.

With the Sarah Palin Shepard Fairey-style MILF tee, you can show the world what you think of The Barracuda.

Buy yours today for only $20– proceeds go to hosting fees, site maintenance, the creation of more sweet merchandise, and of course the Blogadilla beer/slush fund.
(Art by Timbotron, 2008)

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“In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.”

- Napoleon Bonaparte

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