The Jodi Report: Cat Poop Art

Saturday, March 15th, 2008

Jodi’s cat (named “Steve”) has taken to crapping on her kitchen floor. Because he’s a d!ck.

Inspired by the Sprinkle Brigade, Jodi has turned this into an art challenge. Today’s cat poop artwork is entitled “Cigar.”

Think Twice Before Getting This Ringtone…

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008

(Thanks Pop!)

Cat Butt Tat.

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008

Just when I thought I’d seen everything, I saw this.  Is the guy really going to want to rock this tattoo when he’s 80?

Cat Butt Tattoo

(via Jeff)

Hide and Go Seek Poop

Monday, March 10th, 2008

This is what happens when you’ve worked in an office far too long - you invent games like “Hide and Go Poop.”

To be honest, I’d probably play this if I worked there.
I’d probably be Grand Champion and brag about it, too.

Sprinkle Brigade

Sunday, March 2nd, 2008

A group in New York turns dog poop on the sidewalk into artworks: Sprinkle Brigade.

(via Jodi)

Photo of the Day

Sunday, March 2nd, 2008

There really are no words to describe this, except for the author’s comment on Flickr: “I can’t believe I took this picture.”

An Orangutan Has A

[Update from Heywood]: Proof that this photo isn’t photoshopped, my friend Dianna sent me a link to a video of this. Yuck!

MooOOOO!!

Saturday, February 23rd, 2008

What does this image represent? Here are some possible answers:

  • how to check the oil on Bessie
  • a really good hiding place for a spliff, where no one will EVER look
  • something very very wrong and illegal in 39 states
  • junkie cows
  • where sausage comes from
  • ‘T-boning’
  • a very lifelike “pin-the-tail” game
  • how to inflate your blow-up heifer doll
  • drunken shenanigans at the ol’ dairy farm

Believe it or not, this is an actual graphic from a real website demonstrating the proper technique for drawing blood from a cow. (You take blood from a vein on the underside of the tail - who knew?!) Here is a photo demonstrating the technique in action:

The website is from a company, BioTracking, that provides pregnancy tests for cows and other ruminants. If livestock reproduction technology makes you giggle like a schoolgirl then check out this link for a ram ejaculator. Seems to me that sheep farmers could save a lot of money by just going by Good Vibrations instead.

When You Love Someone, Give Them Syphilis

Sunday, February 17th, 2008

Thought Valentine’s Day is over, it’s not too late to give that special someone Gonorrhea.

Giant Microbes offers an extensive line of colorful plush microbes:

The Common Cold (Rhinovirus sp.)
Strep Throat (Streptococcus sp.)
Chlamydia (Chlamydia trachomatis)
Black Plague (Yersinia pestis)
Gonorrhea (Neisseria gonorrheae)
Herpes (Herpes Simplex Virus 2)
Syphilis (Treponema pallidum)
Ebola (Ebola)
Sleeping Sickness (Trypanosoma brucei)
Typhoid Fever (Salmonella typhi)
E. coli (Escherichia coli)
Lyme Disease (Borrelia burgdorferi)
Penicillin Mold (Penicillium chrysogenum)
T4 Bacteriophage Virus
Martian Life (fossil from Mars Rock ALH 84001) [coolness]
Staph Infection (Staphylococcus aureus)
Toxic Mold (Stachybotrys chartarum)
Giardia (Giardia lamblia)
Hepatitis C (Hepatitis C Virus, HCV)
Malaria (Plasmodium falciparum)

Looks Like a Model, Sounds Like a Frat-Boy

Friday, February 15th, 2008

I think I’m in love.

(•_•)

Saturday, February 2nd, 2008

This video is why I’m going to a special level of hell reserved for thirteen-year-olds. This had to be done:

This girl’s videos (all 40 of them) have been “most viewed” hits on YouTube - and I have no f@#$ing idea why. Someone had to take her down a notch.

Urban Non-Legends: The Weirdest Place You’ve Made Whoopee

Wednesday, December 19th, 2007

“The Newlywed Game” (1977):

Bob Eubanks: “Where specifically is the weirdest place that you personally, girls, have ever gotten the urge to ‘make whoopee’?”

Contestant (Olga): “Umm . . . the as$?”

A proud moment for Olga’s family:

Technically . . . “the as$” is a place.

Raw Sweaty Talent: ‘The Four Squeezins’

Wednesday, December 19th, 2007

The Four Squeezins

I just discovered my new ringtone:

2 Socks 1 Cup

Sunday, December 16th, 2007

If you haven’t seen “2 Girls 1 Cup” yet, I recommend that you don’t. Ever.

It’s goatse minus the charm and class.

It’s one of those things you just can’t un-see.

My friend Jodi and I made a sock puppet re-enactment of “2 Girls 1 Cup,” so you can get an idea of why your evil friends are telling you to watch it, but without actually having to sit through what may be the most disgusting thing on the internet ever.

Consider this video a warning:

DRUG WARNING: Whiff-Its / Fart Huffing

Saturday, December 8th, 2007

After seeing how far the Jenkem urban legend has gone, “Brown Bagging” is screaming to be launched into the communtications network of idiots to see where it will go (others must be warned of this grave danger - this is a gateway drug to things like “Two Girls, One Cup”):

This is Some Gooooood S**t, Man…

Friday, December 7th, 2007

A friend sent me this yesterday, and I have to say, I almost threw up a little in my mouth while reading it. Apparently getting stoned and drinking isn’t enough for kids these days. They are resorting to other methods of catching a high: brewing sh!t. That’s right, raw sewage. Also known as Jenkem or ummm…butthash. Seriously, this is just downright wrong. Check it ›


(Thanks Pollock. I sorta hate you a little for exposing me to this.)

Oaktree Goatse

Saturday, December 1st, 2007

In the parking lot behind Walgreen’s, this tree was screaming to be goatse-d:

*For those of you who’ve been spared the heinous fury of goatse [work-safe Wikipedia link], it was a website (taken offline in 2004) with a front page image of a man doing something inspeakable to his own butt. This site was often used as a prank: send your friends a bogus link taking them to goatse, then wait for the gagging sounds. It has since become a legendary internet reference, which has inspired a large number of tributes and artworks [SSFW - Semi-Safe For Work].

*Also: a nice Flickr gallery of images of people’s expressions after seeing goatse for the first time.

*And . . . if you’re brave or a sicko, here is a goatse mirror [WARNING: NSFWLPOMTIWHY - Not Safe For Work, Lunch, or Peace of Mind, This Image Will Haunt You]

[UPDATE 12/2/07]: My sister had never seen goatse before; there is nothing quite as funny as the genuine look of horror on someone’s face after seeing it for the first time.

[Update 12/11/07]: My friend Jodi just saw goatse for the first time. This is the look of Jodi soiling herself in horror.

The Washlet

Tuesday, November 27th, 2007

It’s not so much the product as the webpage design that has me impressed with the Toto Washlet. Their intro is certainly worth watching.

It’s a little unsettling: I have a crush on the cute redhead who discusses toilet hygiene.

(via Memepool)

Tighty-WhiteysBrowneys

Monday, November 19th, 2007

I am once again a bachelor, and old habits die hard, and thus I was in an Army surplus store today - clothes shopping. I’m in my mid-thirties and still think Army surplus stuff is cool.

Three words: Army Surplus Underwear.

And no, they weren’t used/pre-worn. They were new.

If you think about it, this is the underwear of action heroes (though technically ‘commando style’ is probably the real underwear of action heroes) - underwear designed for heavy combat, secret recon missions, and ninjas.

A few thoughts about this underwear come to mind:
•In combat, this underwear may be worn for several days at a time (no, I don’t intend to test this).

•It is brown . . . for the sake of camouflage.

•This camouflage may serve a different purpose: absconding skidmarks.

•Did the military select this particular color of brown for its skidmark concealing abilities?

•Did the military actually run tests to determine this color to be optimal, and if so, how did they do it?

Snuggle Up with Pee and Poo

Tuesday, October 30th, 2007

From Swedish artist Emma Megitt, Pee and Poo (called Kiss and Bajs in Swedish) are perhaps the warmest, steamiest, freshest renditions of the world’s most popular bodily functions. Available on keychains, t-shirts, and underwear (if you don’t have Pee and Poo on your underwear already).

I’ll Have The Number 2

Wednesday, October 10th, 2007

Of course . . . it was only a matter of time until a “toilet themed” restaurant cropped-up in Japan. The sundae served in a toilet is a bit much. Photo gallery

(via Cindi)