The Art of Kelly Smith:
“Romantic Fantasy Art with a Decadent Rock-N-Roll Edge”

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Give anyone a moustache.
Grow it, groom it, wax it, cut it, shave it.
PetMoustache
(would you believe this is a Burger King ad campaign?)

(via PopCandy)

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These days, with the proliferation of the internets, libraries and all things bookish have had to get creative to keep readers interested, let alone attract new readers.  Enter the New Zealand Book Council.  In what can easily be described as, “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” logic, the NZBC has created www.readatwork.com

It’s a website that displays a windows desktop, except all the folders are filled with literature in PowerPoint format.  You can literally read Animal Farm on PowerPoint slides.  Now you can stick it to your boss and actually claim to be productive at the same time!

Mark Twain anyone?

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When friends or relatives won’t stop sending you photos of their children, make one of these and send it back to them:

Make your own: Faces of Oolong

(via Notcot)

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Technically we still have several weeks to go . . . but if the temperatures are already at 90º, then Summer is here.

Time for a wallpaper change. Going with a Summer theme.

Here’s a nice “Fresh Grass” front lawn wallpaper (by SoftBend) and “June” field of grass wallpaper (by Frank De Graeve) from Pixelgirl Presents.

Now I need to find dog poop icons.

(thanks to Gorilla Sushi for the tip)

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The Typorganism ASCII-o-matic:

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What to watch instead of watching people embarrass themselves on national TV:

• The Michael Showalter Show(alter)

• Wainy Days

• The Cute Show

• Channel Frederator

• The Onion

• The Defenders of Stan

• Suck My News

• Cool Hunting

• Derek and Simon: The Show

• New Scientist

• The Mortified Shoebox Show

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For nearly a year now, Doritos has been subjecting us to flavor experiments.

The last Doritos “flavor experiment” I tried tasted like David Hasselhoff’s mouth.

But now they’re getting cool about it. To promote their newest experimental flavor, they have unleashed “Doritos the Quest” - an online game that has I.Q. test/problem-solving puzzles akin to Myst or Riven.

The game will be released in four parts (part 2 will come out in a week) - the grand prize winner will receive “$100,000 in treasure.” It appears that the finalists will actually have to physically compete for the grand prize - a la obstacle course, etc. - as stated in the game rules.

I really hope the grand prize isn’t a $100,000 golden corn chip.

(via notcot)

Bonus Round: Triangle Mystery

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I wonder how many of these (or worse) she’ll get this Mother’s Day?

 Send your own here.

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Frustrated with all the unsolicited junk mail you receive? DearBulkMailer.com has come up with a great way to exact revenge on the very people that spam you. Or, put in other words: seeing as how you receive all this unsolicited junk mail every month from spammers, isn’t it s only fair that they should receive something unsolicited from you?

In 4 easy steps:

This only works with “No Postage Necessary When Mailed In the US” envelopes, and the kicker is this: when using these prepaid envelopes, the company that receives the piece of mail has to pay approximately 20 cents per ounce on what is delivered to them. This is no problem with a normal letter, but when you tape the no postage necessary envelope to a box containing an 8 pound brick, the junk mailer winds up having to pay $25, with all of the proceeds going to the US Postal Service.

Take that, junk mail!

(via Ben; via DearBulkMailer)

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Not all taco trucks are alike.

The Yum Tacos taco truck guide and news source for all things taco truck.

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• Wikipedia - the “Mother of all Wikis . . . and -pedias”.

• Uncyclopedia - like Wikipedia, but drunk.

• Conservapedia - like Wikipedia, but stupid and paranoid.

• Dickipedia - like baseball cards, about jerks.

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If you spend more than 10 minutes a week on your computer, you probably give a sh!t about your wallpaper.
And vacation photos are both lame and get old quick.

Here’s a list of some of the more spectacular (free) wallpapers (from left to right, top row first):

• You can’t spell ‘mahogany’ without ‘Mmmmm.’ Japanese design firm 9031’s free wood wallpapers (via WeAreTheMarket.com).

• [adult swim] has tons of their own awesome trademark wallpapers, and wallpapers of their many shows and cartoons.

•Goopymart’s wide array of often insane artworks make great wallpapers.

•Unazukin wallpapers can be simultaneously cheery and creepy.

•City Shrinker’s (monthly) urban miniature wallpapers (via Notcot).

•Kjetiljul.com’s paintings of comfortable art studios and interior spaces make for tranquil wallpapers.

•Mr. Toast wallpapers - breakfast foods with personality.

•I’ve had background cell art for the Venture Bros. cartoon series as wallpaper on my laptop for almost a year. Can’t beat it.

•Wallpapers of the new Indiana Jones movie.

•Wallpapers of the winners of the World’s Ugliest Dog Contest.

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Goopymart.
Rhymes with “art” and “smart.”
And “fart.”

Goopymart’s photostream contains hundreds and hundreds of his awesome poop-your-pants-laughing illustrations. All free (CC Noncommercial Share-Alike 2.0) . . .

. . . and perfect for cellphone wallpapers (and shirts and mugs).

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The best humor is often found where you least expect it (except for Patch Adams, who wasn’t funny and can suck it).

tryork5ifp has a written the funniest eBay feedback ever.

• “HEY—the autograph Steve Irwin diving suit you sold me had BIG a hole in it!!!”

• “…the olfactorally CORRECT whoopie cushions are a RIOT!”

• “you’re right—This Beadazzler has saved me a FORTUNE in body piercing costs ALONE”

• “the hunchback shirt fit PERFECTLY—left-handed humps are SO HARD to find nowadays”

• “RANSOM RECIEVED—Timmy in locker#17, Port Authority, NYC—alive when last checked”

• “HUMAN head preserved inside a clear-lucite BOWLING ball—was this a relative?”

• “inflatable doll? Use helium? You, my friend, have revolutionized my sex-life!”

• “Q—if one were to’INSERT’ this adult Xmas tree ornament—and if it happend to break—would that person be entitled to a refund once they’re released from hospital?”

• “1ST RATE Earnest Borgnine-Ethel Merman erotic nudes!—DANG— Ethel was WAY hairier”

• “great seller—believes ANYTHING you tell him—accepts Monopoly money.”

• “roses are red-violets are blue-i steal stuff from Walmart-and sell it to you.”

(via Cindi)

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If you love pranks, or are just an a$$hole and want to piss off/lose your friends, you may or may not want to check out CalltheFuture.org, a unique service that until April Fools’ Day, I had never heard of. Sure, I’m a little late bringing to the site, but this is still worth addressing for all y’all Dillas out there.

Before I get started, however, let me state that CalltheFuture makes it clear that their service is not to be used for pranks. I personally would never do this, nor advocate it, but that doesn’t mean my buddy (who will remain nameless) wouldn’t… So again, I’m not advocating this– just bringing some interesting knowledge I happened across to the Dillasphere.

CalltheFuture’s service is marketed as a tool to help people remind themselves about important future engagements, from meetings and appointments to other responsibilities, allowing users to schedule “courtesy” calls in the future to any phone number they choose at any given time. In theory, this could be very useful, such as if I have to pick up my buddy from the airport at 3pm a week from now and I’m worried I might forget– I can just schedule a call for 12 noon that day to remind me. Sweet, right? Just type in a string of text you want read to you, plug in the phone number you want to call, type in the number you want to show up as the caller ID(!), and choose one of 7 voices (male or female, aged 30-55) you want to read your text. The rest, as they say, is magic.

Sure, CTF can be useful, but the possibility of tomfoolery is large. My advice is this: don’t not not pull pranks on your friends, such as setting up calls to your roommate at 5am daily, or programming nasty calls to your ex-girlfriend every hour on the hour.

(Image modified via CartoonStock.com)

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How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take in a Fight?

That’s right: all the years of wondering can finally be answered in one easy quiz. It’s good to know that those annoying yet wildly entertaining online quizzes haven’t gone anywhere!

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To drum up excitement for the upcoming Olympic games, and to tap into the audiences that watch Lost and still remember (enjoy?) playing Myst, a new online game called The Lost Ring emerged in late February. The New York Times recently featured an interesting article about the hidden sponsorship of the game, players around the world, and the relatively cheap cost of orchestrating worldwide phenomena. (Interestingly enough, the article was written on April Fools Day, so it’s unclear whether anyone took the review seriously).

Here’s the trailer that started it all:

The game apparently started with 50 bloggers who knew all those sleepless nights spent online had finally paid off, but has now gotten big enough that there are wikis, podcasts and players collaborating around the world to piece together the story and pick up hidden clues left in cities around the world. The game will culminate during the opening ceremony of the Olympics with some sort of tie-in. You can catch up and join in the fun at The Lost Ring Wiki.

(thanks Alexis)

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Folks, if you’re ever in need of some groovy music and/or video or are looking to expand your musical horizons, particularly on a slow working day, check out my boy Max Abelson’s Super Groovy Music/Video Spectacular (aka “Max Abelson and His Funktified Flying Fortress of Fantastic Videos of Music”– these phrases are copyrighted, folks!).

Each day, Max and his gang of Oompa Loompas over at Tumblr pour through the series of tubes that is the Internet and find awesome, old media content that I personally could never find on my own. The programming schedule roughly breaks down as follows:

• Mondays: ’60s
• Tuesdays: ’70s
• Wednesdays: ’80s
• Thursday: ’90s
• Friday: ’00s
• Saturday/Sunday: ????

Today, for instance, check out the throwback to Gilberto Gil, from 1967. The video quality may not always be great, but the material Max comes up with certainly is.

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2006: As some of you may remember, Chevy trucks thought they’d create a cyber-hip-20-somethings ad campaign where you could make your own Chevy Tahoe commercial . . . and it backfired in a major way.

2008: BMW has decided to walk into the punch. Get a load of BMW’s cyber-virtual-interweb-hipster ad campaign for their new BMW 1 Series: draw on their car with Facebook Graffiti, for a chance to win mediocre prizes.

And the trolls have obliged.

I planned on submitting this fine Photoshop project below, until I discovered that you have to use stupid Facebook Graffiti to do all of your artwork. Dammit!

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