Bert N’ Ernie N’ Kid N’ Play


Rubber Duckie Bonus Round:
Zombie Bert and Ernie by Killer Napkins.

(Thanks Angie N’ John!)

Bookmark to:

Having recently finished Max Brooks’ World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War, I’m thrilled about this:

Lost Zombies: A Community Generated Zombie Documentary

Become a member and submit evidence/proof of the zombie outbreak in your area (this project has evidence from around the globe).

Undead Bonus Round: The Lost Zombie sticker campaign.

Bookmark to:

World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks

[I just finished reading it (and yes, I know this book has been out a while)]:

By title alone, you are probably thinking one of two things:
a). “Cool! Zombie fiction!“
b). “Dear God . . . Zombie fiction?!?“

Here’s the catch: it’s not so much about zombies, it’s about how different societies would react to a global pandemic. However, the pandemic in this story happens to be the reanimated dead. And author Max Brooks didn’t get lazy about it either - he did his homework, he left no technical detail to chance. The only real fiction is the zombie part: no Deus ex machina, no laser guns invented to save humanity.

Topically, Brooks found a fascinating subject, flush with interesting questions:
“How would China or Canada react to a pandemic?”
“What is the best way to stop a pandemic from spreading across the globe?”
“What would happen to the average person when their town/city is overrun?”
“What would our government do?”
“How would we rebuild?”

Brooks also chose the perfect format for this type of story - the story is told through interviews (dozens and dozens of interviews) with different people around the world who were at significant events/moments during the spread of the disease and/or the subsequent war.

Bonus Round: It’s already on its way to being a feature film in 2010.

Bookmark to:

Q: Are you currently at work?

1). YES
2). NO

If you answered YES to the previous question, turn back now, go somewhere safer, do not read any further (until you get home).

The following is so NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

I am officially naming the game “Smurf Porn.”
This is a game that you’ve likely played already:
Turn the “safe search” off on your browser and type in any word, plus the word “porn.”

Results: Holy sh!t.

20 minutes of this revealed stupefying results for “_____ + porn”:

• Smurf (I so wish I was kidding about this one)

• Zombie

• Dinosaur (apparently dinosaurs speak German)

• Bowling

• Power Rangers (via Fleshbot)

• Airline Stewardess (duh, but I had to see)

• Bigfoot (Oh, man.)

• The Easter Bunny (Is nothing sacred!?!)

• The Exorcist

• Superman (yes, the man of steel)

• Clown (this just made every childhood birthday party a little creepy)

[and their arch-enemies StopClownPornNow.org]

• Ballet

• McDonald’s (called “Mzinald’s”)

Bookmark to:

FirstShowing.net has a flash video of the alternate (and original) ending to “I Am Legend” (2007) (can also been seen on some versions of the DVD).

(via Garry)

Bookmark to:

Tomer Hanuka.

You gotta love an artist who can do this with zombies and yuppies a Stephen King story.

(thanx for clarification Isabel)

Bookmark to:

February is Black History Month and February 18th is Presidents Day. Both of which have sucky decorations: no fancy trees, no decent costumes, no color schemes, and no lame candy.

Example: my friend Jodi recently presented me with a “Lincoln Pop.”
He turns your tongue black and tastes like a copper penny.

If you lick him long enough, he turns into “Angry Zombie Lincoln.”

Bookmark to:

I recently saw this Halloween costume for sale and a potentially awkward scenario came to mind:

Scene: Halloween night, in a crowded bar/nightclub

Drunk Woman: “What the hell are you supposed to be?! Are you like a Zombie with Curtains or a Dead Conquistador or something?”

Ghost Ship: “I’m a Ghost Ship”

Drunk Woman: “Oh . . . like a Ghost Pirate in that Johnny Depp movie!”

Ghost Ship: “No. I’m like the boat in that movie.”

Drunk Woman: “You’re a boat . . . then why do you have a face?”

Ghost Ship:
“It’s my ghost part.”
“It’s called ‘Anthropomorphic Representation’.”
“Because I’m a ghost also and this is my skull.”
“I’m a personification of a Ghost Ship.”
“Uhh . . . I don’t know.”

Drunk Woman: “Huh?!?!”

Drunk Woman: “Hey, my friend Melissa is going as a Sexy Pirate. Can she ride on your shoulders?”

End Scene

The negative aspects of dressing up as a Ghost Ship:
•Guys in pirate costumes may try to board you, rob you, and then set you on fire in the middle of the ocean.

•The entire night people will ask you what the hell you’re supposed to be.

•’Walking your plank’ jokes get old.

•A group of meddling kids might try to disrobe you in an attempt to prove that you’re an underhanded amusement park owner.

•Guys in pirate costumes may try to ’swab your poopdeck.’

Bookmark to:

Pharming - The act of illicitly redirecting a website’s traffic to another bogus website.

Phishing - Attempting to acquire sensitive personal information through email communications by impostering as a trusted business or institution.

Phideo - Profitting from video sales and rentals by impostering as a known movie; like phishing, phideos prey upon the drunk and the elderly.

I Am Ωmega (2007) - Like I Am Legend (2007), but less of a rip-off of The Ωmega Man (1971).

Transmorphers (2007) - Like Transformers (2007), but dyslexic.

Alien vs. Hunter (2007) - Like Alien vs. Predator (2004), except filmed in a park and they could only afford one alien costume because they spent all their money on the acting wizardry of Michelle Pfeiffer’s sister.

Bookmark to:

I Am Legend (a.k.a.- “The Omega Man in Black”)

A virus outbreak.
Bad animation zombies.
The Fresh Prince survives.

The Omega Man
meets 28 Days Later.
Typical New York.

Bookmark to:

I paint [on] naked people, when time and people permit. Every Halloween, I paint less-naked/more-clothed people. Here are some highlights of friends and family that I’ve painted over the last 3 Halloweens (including this Halloween).

-This is me and what my skeleton probably looks like (2007).

-My neighbor Jeff, the living dead (2007).

-My sister, the Waitress of Doom (2006).

-My neighbor, FrankenTravis (2006).

-Heather, Prom Queen of the Damned (2006).

-Adam, the Shrunken Head (2005).

-Cindi, Nice Kitty (2002).

-Me, BeelzeTimbo (2005).

Bookmark to:

Reasons why it would suck to be a zombie:

•Dandruff shampoo doesn’t control your flaky scalp anymore.

•You smell a little like beef jerkey.

•Dogs run off with your fingers and toes and bury them.

•Moaning: People always hang-up on you thinking it’s an obscene phonecall; neighbors think you’re constantly getting laid.

•You don’t have to worry about catching a cold, you have to worry about catching ants.

•Everyone asks you if you can dance like that “Thriller” video.

•All bad smells get blamed on you.

•EYE COLOR: RED on your driver’s license.

•Just because you’re undead doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt when kids throw lawn darts at you.

•People mistake you for Steve Buscemi.

•Every Halloween, some half-naked ‘naughty nurse’ still manages to win the costume contest instead of you.

•BRAINS never shows up on the Dollar Value Menu at McDonald’s.

•Formaldehyde is expensive, but mouthwash doesn’t quite cut it anymore.

•Dicks with torches and chainsaws.

•Half the people you meet think your name is “Uuuuuuuhhhhh.”

•Your health insurance rates suck.

•You can only get dates with necrophiliacs and goth chicks.

•Mad Cow Disease: Fresh brains are harder to come by these days.

•Neighbor kids keep pestering you to be their entry in the Junior High Science Fair.

•Lysol doesn’t get rid of maggots.

•The I.R.S. doesn’t consider “cannibalistic undead” as “self employed.”

•Friends only invite you over when they’re throwing a Halloween party.

•Cruel pranks: When you pass out at a friend’s party and wake up in the morgue.

•Haiti is a fun place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to die there.

•Smartasses keep calling you “Beetlejuice.”

(some content contributed by Becky)

Bookmark to:

The Flickr photoalbum of handmade “Dawn of the Dead” dolls, by CakeyVoice. Awesome. Truly awesome.

Bookmark to:

[going with a zombie theme]:

Max Brooks’ “Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead”” was hilarious.

I’m looking forward to is new book “World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War.”

Bookmark to:

[Halloween is coming up, it's time to start posting stuff about zombies]

Zombie Cesar Chavez and Zombie Che Guevara.
Digital Creations by El Rio.
Rock on.

Bookmark to:

I love the idea of corrupting the vanilla Danish world of Lego. DYZPlastic offers a stellar line of Lego zombies.

Bookmark to:

Shrunken heads: they smell like beef jerkey and look like your grandma (or vice-versa).

•Tired of the same old “pine tree” air freshener hanging from your rearview mirror? Salangome Exotic Imports offers a delightful line of shrunken head reproductions.

•Tiki Farm offers the stylish Jivaro Shrunken Head mug - perfect for coffee, a maitai, or human blood.

Bookmark to:

VitaminWater is the Fruitopia of the new millenium. I felt compelled to make my own labels - the lame hipster monologues on the side of the bottle are just too tempting to make fun of. Click on the thumbnails.

Bookmark to: